I'm not doing well at all... | Arthritis Information

I'm having off and on fevers around 99-100 (my normal temp is 97) night sweats, pain in my neck, shoulders, clavicles, elbows, wrists, hands, hips, and feet. I've lost 65 lbs since winter, no appetite. Off and on swelling here and there, but nothing significant. oh, and horrible sleep problems. Problems physically getting out of bed, buttoning my clothes, etc, etc, etc. This is by far my worst flare. It's been getting progressively worse for the last 3 mo, or so... He knows not to offer me prednisone. It took me over a year to get off it the last time.

I saw my primary yesterday. I've lost another ten lbs this mo. He upped my ativan to 3mg 3x/day. He is trying to help me with my stress and anxiety.

I saw my rheumy today and he said I looked terrible. Its a good thing we have a great relationship. He stopped my MTX inj. and wants to see me in 3 wks. We're going to try Embrel again. Instead of doing bloodwork there like I usually do, he sent me to a different one in town and they took 8 vials of blood for over a dozen tests. He also scheduled me to have a full body scan next week. He said I may feel worse when the mtx is out of my system (in about 3-4 wks) I can't begin to fathom...

Hubby and I are not getting along at all. he's made some bad financial decisions (behind my back) and is now either sullen or downright mean. We are drowning financially and there;s not a darn thing we can do. He's ruined our credit in just a year and a half. Before that, I handled all the bills and we never even had a late payment. He's mad at himself and blaming me for everything and is verbally abusive. Seems all I do is cry.

On a positive note, I have an awesome job lined up at a gorgeous hotel being built on the side of a mountain overlooking the water. Luckily, they are behind schedule and won't be opening Aug.1 as anticipated. Rheumy said good, cuz it'll give him time to get me healthy. Oh how I hope. The owner, manager, and assistant manager loved me and said I was #1 on their hiring list.

Can I put myself in a hospital someplace away from all the stress and get well there? I can't afford a vacation, but lord knows I need one.

A very sad Deb

All I can say is that I an very sorry you hurt so much. No one should have to take that kind of abuse from anyone, to me its more abusive than hitting someone. Good luck with the new job! Tell hubby to leave you alone or I'll come beat 'im up. I'm like you, put me in the hospital so I can rest! Sounds like your hubby is bit like my ex. Spend all the money, damn the consequences. He used to put gas in the boat in the boat, not pay this bill or that one, nothing like coming home to find the power company has cut the power to the house again because he didn't pay the bills. He got so mad when I opened a new account ! Never had the power turned off after that! Hope things straiten up for you soon, Congrats on the new job!!!!Oh Owiemom, I'm so sorry you are feeling so awful and there are so many negatives in your life right now!

Prayers going up for a turn for the better in both your health and home life!

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wanttobeRAfree2008-07-25 04:19:52I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. This has been a bad year for me to. I have lost about 20 lbs. since winter. Perspiring all the time, achy and stiff. This morning I just popped 2 aspirins and I swear it has helped with inflammation. My throat is so sore. I don't have a dr.s appt. until 9/3/08. Can you believe that? I'm going to get my thyroid checked out. Has your dr. checked your thyroid? I never knew this RA could cause so much weight loss and muscle atrophy. I hope you feel better soon. I cry every day also. I'm so sensitive to everything because I' m taking all I can take with this RA.I am so sorry that you are feeling and being treated so awfully. Shame on your husband for being so awful to you when you are obviously so sick! On a positive note, that is awesome that you have some more time to find a new plan of attack before you start your new job. I hope that everything gets better for you!!

Reegie

Good luck to you, and I hope it all turns around soon. I'm so sorry Deb. I wish you could go someplace and be pampered and taken care of so that you can feel well again. I know how you feel. It's not bad enough that you have your health to worry about, but adding to that all the stress that can come about in our day to day lives can be just way too much to handle sometimes. BUT, you will handle it and as hard as it is, it will all work itself out. It sucks when hubby is insensitive; I think it's in some of their DNA! (No offense to any hubbies out there) You are a strong person and you will get through this!

BIG Hugs,

Jodie

Deb,
So sorry for all of the problems you are having. You deserve better from your husband, shame on him for treating you that way when you are ill. It is bad enough that we struggle through RA and all the stuff it brings into our lives. My husband and I also have struggles now too. My husband just can't take all my health issues anymore. I seem to have become more of a liability than an asset. It is the sad reality of my present situation. I cry lots of days too. But I keep telling myself tomorrow will be a better day.
I pray that your situation will brighten up. Hugs
Mom2

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mom2threeinaz2008-07-25 07:16:00This is awful. You're having such a terrible time and I'm so sorry. Your additional stress and insensitive husband makes it that much worse and I want to smack him. I wish there was something I could do besides tell you I understand and am sorry. I know that doesn't help you much. I was glad to read that your doctor is taking this so seriously and is doing all he can. That's a plus.

As a final note I have to tell you how impressed I am with your drive and determination. With all you're going through you've gotten yourself out of the house and landed a great new job. Amazing. You inspire me. Who ever said women are the weaker sex?

Aw Deb, this is just awful! I am so sorry you hurt this way and having a husband that treats you badly because of his mistakes is inexcusable. I have seen with my husband that after a long time of complaing to him everyday that I try not to let the pain show or discuss it, as I can see it upsets him and he is tired of hearing about it. But he is not being abusive like yours.

I hope things work out for the best. Good Luck and God Bless.

Much hugs, Deb. I was wondering the same thing last night about the be admitted to a hospital and see if they can fix me. If you find one let me know; I'll join you and maybe we can get this crappy year turned around. Sorry that you're having such a difficult time right now. Sure doesn't help when your spouse is not supportive. I probably missed it somewhere, but why is your RD taking you off mtx and how long before he starts you on something else?

Think positive and look ahead to that wonderful new job.

[QUOTE=owiemom] He's mad at himself and blaming me for everything [/QUOTE]

Boy can I relate to that. My husband does the same thing, when he screws up he tries to find a way to make it my fault. I still haven't figured out how to handle that without it turning into a fight, and we've been together 19 years. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, it sounds like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and I know that's a terrible feeling. Hang in there and just take things one minute at a time. Gentle hugs, Andrea

I was just about to say, I love my husband and he is great to me overall, but he is the most mean when HE has screwed up. Argh! Mort Fertel has really helped our relationship though! I would recommend his audio tapes.

That sounds like an awful flare, I'm so sorry!

I feel so bad for you! That's so much stress, I'm glad your doc is doing something about that. It's tough enough dealing with pain and illness but having financial and marriage stress isn't a plus at all. Hopefully, your bloodwork and scan will give an indication to your rhuemy how to solve this flare up. You poor thing!!
I hope you're feeling ten times better by the time you start your new job- it sounds wonderful!
If you need a vacation, come up to Canada! We'll relax in the hot tub!
anaudlife, sounds great and I'm only a couple of hours from the border. Are you having a cold summer too? It's been miserable, and right now I have my warmest winter jammies on and my electric blankie on high.

As far as Hubby goes, he is now saying I keep him awake at night because of my tossing and turning in pain. We have a very, very expensive bed that does not move when you do. He has sleep apnea he refuses to acknowledge and wear the apparatus at night, so he gasps awake all night long - something else to blame me for. I told him fine, go find someplace else to sleep, so he is sleeping on the floor and has been all week. He tried to get in bed with me last night and I told him the floor won't keep him up all night, so he moved down there again.

Since I have lost so much weight, I am selling all my designer clothes on E-bay to make some money for myself. I'm selling size 16's down to size 8's. I'm going to keep my 4's and 6's in case I ever gain again. At first hubby said I had to give him all the money and I said "like hell, I will" He's been so sad moping around these last few days, and has since said I could keep the money. Like he was giving me permission, lol.

Thank you for all your support and prayers, I can sure use all I can get... you are all great friends...

deb

I am so very sorry for you girls, for your all your pain and for your husbands sometimes being jerks. And after being married four times please believe me I can surely relate. I guess after being married for a long time you can only deal with it the best you can, and like you said overall they are good. This last marriage I have been married fifteen years, but after three "practices" I finally ( really slow learner) figured out how to deal with it and sat him down in first six months and said change your mean behavior or we divorce right now. Fortunately for me he did change. Don't mean to sound like a bully, just been through too much and too old to put up with much anymore. Deb, please hand in there and know youre in my prayers.Deb, honey, I am so sorry you are going thru so much pain with this awful flair. And even more sorry your husband is behaving like a jerk! Good for you, for suggesting that he go back to the floor last night. I, too, would like to give him a good "smack"!

You really are an inspirition. Good luck on the new job. It sounds like the RD is trying to help you get feeling good enough to start it. The hotel sounds wonderful! What a beautiful setting in which to work.

Keep your strength, sweetie! And don't lose any more weight! You need to stay strong.

Much love, Nini

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. I'll keep you in my prayers. Take care.
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