OT: He ventured forth to bring light to the world | Arthritis Information
He ventured forth to bring light to the world
The anointed one's pilgrimage to the Holy Land is a miracle in action - and a blessing to all his faithful followers
Gerard Baker
And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.
The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.
When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”
In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.
And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world.
He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the Hindu Kush, where the
Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom, raining terror on all the world.
And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were triumphant. For as long as the Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered great blows and the threat of terror was no more.
From there he went forth to Mesopotamia where he was received by the great ruler al-Maliki, and al-Maliki spake unto him and blessed his Sixteen Month Troop Withdrawal Plan even as the imperial warrior Petraeus tried to destroy it.
And lo, in Mesopotamia, a miracle occurred. Even though the Great Surge of Armour that the evil Bush had ordered had been a terrible mistake, a waste of vital military resources and doomed to end in disaster, the Child's very presence suddenly brought forth a great victory for the forces of the light.
And the Persians, who saw all this and were greatly fearful, longed to speak with the Child and saw that the Child was the bringer of peace. At the mention of his name they quickly laid aside their intrigues and beat their uranium swords into civil nuclear energy ploughshares.
From there the Child went up to the city of Jerusalem, and entered through the gate seated on an ass. The crowds of network anchors who had followed him from afar cheered “Hosanna” and waved great palm fronds and strewed them at his feet.
In Jerusalem and in surrounding Palestine, the Child spake to the Hebrews and the Arabs, as the Scripture had foretold. And in an instant, the lion lay down with the lamb, and the Israelites and Ishmaelites ended their long enmity and lived for ever after in peace.
As word spread throughout the land about the Child's wondrous works, peoples from all over flocked to hear him; Hittites and Abbasids; Obamacons and McCainiacs; Cameroonians and Blairites.
And they told of strange and wondrous things that greeted the news of the Child's journey. Around the world, global temperatures began to decline, and the ocean levels fell and the great warming was over.
The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for.
And there were other wonderful signs. In the city of the Street at the Wall, spreads on interbank interest rates dropped like manna from Heaven and rates on credit default swaps fell to the ground as dead birds from the almond tree, and the people who had lived in foreclosure were able to borrow again.
Black gold gushed from the ground at prices well below 0 per barrel. In hospitals across the land the sick were cured even though they were uninsured. And all because the Child had pronounced it.
And this is the testimony of one who speaks the truth and bears witness to the truth so that you might believe. And he knows it is the truth for he saw it all on CNN and the BBC and in the pages of The New York Times.
Then the Child ventured forth from Israel and Palestine and stepped onto the shores of the Old Continent. In the land of Queen Angela of Merkel, vast multitudes gathered to hear his voice, and he preached to them at length.
But when he had finished speaking his disciples told him the crowd was hungry, for they had had nothing to eat all the hours they had waited for him.
And so the Child told his disciples to fetch some food but all they had was five loaves and a couple of frankfurters. So he took the bread and the frankfurters and blessed them and told his disciples to feed the multitudes. And when all had eaten their fill, the scraps filled twelve baskets.
Thence he travelled west to Mount Sarkozy. Even the beauteous Princess Carla of the tribe of the Bruni was struck by awe and she was great in love with the Child, but he was tempted not.
On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David the Golden One.
And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can.”
Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans" and "he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites"
I must send this to all I know!
Yes, we can!
Pip
Pip, a couple days ago you wrote: (in response to a anti-Obama post)
"Donn - would you be so kind as to re-lable this thread as the
Conservative
Corner or whatever else you'd like to call it and keep your posts under
that. We have worked really hard at keeping the politics under
appropriate threads to lessen animosity.
Because I gave up. The conservatives didn't want Donn's material in a conservative thread. The liberals were the only people 'playing by the rules' and we've had Donn and Lev who refuse to play by any rules just posting away.
So, in interest of 'equal time' - LOL
I figured it would end up like it always does - it blows up, lots of acrimony - then we pull together and go 'separate but equal'.
To be fair - I should have suggested that but...
Pip
Mab52. Didn't you learn not to do the Brown acid?I could barely stop laughing from this one to post it. Can't blame the meds though
Pip
why should conservatives claim Donn? the man is clueless and even the most devout conservatives on this board understand that
[QUOTE=buckeye]Pip
Hey Joe - its labelled "OT" or off topic, which is about the only rule we can seem to semi-follow in here. That's more than the other offenders in here do. Thanks mab for properly titling this epic. And Pip, I am so glad you have seen the light, its a losing cause. JUSNM - I know, it was just some good-natured ribbing at my liberal friend Pip.
Yep - Joe and I go way back.
JSNM - its not a losing cause - Yes We Can!
Jas and Buckeye - I should have apologized in that other thread Donn started. My point is that there are scales of liberal and conservative and Donn and crew are Redneck Conservatives. They say conservative things like cons with brains but use Redneck Fear Factor to get their point across. You may not want to claim them but they are definitely not liberals. I just didn't think we'd have any chance to get them to post their garbage in a 'Lunatic Redneck Fringe' thread. Even tho that kind of thread would quickly become the most viewed thread on AI and would probably get more hits than the old Conservative Corner and Liberal threads combined. And those that wanted to argue would go there - thereby leaving most of the board for AI disease info.
It was a hope.
Pip
Joe M,
Welcome to Pip's world. She has a set of rules for Pip and a bunch of other rules for all others. Pip's rules for herself is that she can post anything she wants, anywhere she wants and anytime she wants whether it be true or not and she expects others to post where she says they should post, if she says they can post, and it can only be posted if she approves of the post.
Pip,
I observe the rules, just not your silly, biased rules. You speak as a true Obama supporter, talking about rednecks. We get rednecks from working and being outside in our God's wonderful sunshine. We even practice shooting our guns. Oh no, Senator Obama and Pip, we actually think we have a right to God and guns. And Mab and Pip and the rest of you liberals, we know for a fact that Senator Obama is not the Messiah, you can certainly claim him as yours, follow your shepard. I would be so emmbarressed to have posted this or be a handclapper to such garbage. This certainly gives liberals a ignorant look. No Offense.
LEV
Me a liberal? No way. This is a very good description of how the media sees Obama. He's actually closer to being another Herbert Hoover if he gets in and that's gonna cost us big time.
[QUOTE=levlarry]Joe M,
Impeaching President Bush would be a good way to start a new presidency. He and his cronies deserve Olympic gold, silver and bronze medals for the lousy job they have done the last eight years, it had affected us all, not just the U.S. . . Some of us in "The corrupt, over-taxed, and over-regulated city of Chicago", with our belligerant Mayor Daley...happen to adore him, and can't wait till October 2009, when we find out if we beat out Tokyo, Madrid, Rio DeJaneiro for the Summer 2016 Olympics!!
If our World Class City, and our Mayor succeed , come visit, we are not all corrupt!Calgary,
I've listened to every liberal hear blame everything that has happened on President Bush. I still remember the liberals trying to make everyone believe that President Reagan had the aids virus developed to give to the african americans. I've also asked every liberal from this forum to tell me what the democrats have done in the last seven and one half years. Specifically, what have they done in the last three and one half years. It seems to me that most democrats spent most of their time and energy making President Bush and his administration look bad. As hard as the president worked to make good work, the democrats worked just as hard to ensure failure. If the democratic leaders had spent even half of the time and energy that they spent trying to ensure failure of any good from the present administration on doing good for this country, we would be in good shape and I would have respect for those low life, scum sucking, lower than cockroaches people called our demacratic leaders. So please, tell me what the dem leaders have done in the last seven and one half years. To embarrass the Bush administration they ensured that the growling dogs pictures were shown around the world on a daily basis until even the democrats got sick of it. Was that to help our country. They even tried to make the world believe that President Bush orded it. How many of our soldiers were killed because that scum had to try to make the Bush aministration look bad. That's their good works? Yes, yes it is. They have our soldiers blood on their hands. Anyone that says that what I have just posted is a lie is so spoiled, you would make a moniter lizard sick. Senator Obama says now that even if we started drilling for homeland oil we wouldn't see any effect for seven years. I guess that what he is saying is if we had started drilling seven years ago as President Bush wanted to do we would be feeling the "good" effects. Our Michigan Dingel, you know, the democrat from Michigan that proposed an additional 50 cent tax per gallon of gas to help save gas is running in Michigan with an add for saving us from dangerous leaded imports from China. What a joke he is. Anyway, before I take up three or four pages let me again ask, what good has the democrats done in the last seven and one half years. Why is all the bad pinned on the President and the republicans. That sounds not just ignorant talk but excuse me, but honestly, it's downright stupid.
LEV
levlarry2008-07-29 18:22:36here are a few things they have done: This was just 2007. There are many sites you can visit to see their accomplishments.
Democratic Accomplishments - Office of Speaker Nancy Pelosi
www.Speaker.gov
September 2007
-This week, we will send the largest college aid expansion since the GI Bill to the
President. Student loan rates will be cut in half and Pell Grants increased.
-On September 14, the President signed our sweeping and historic Lobby and Ethics Reform bill into law. The reform groups have hailed it as a "sweeping, fundamental" and "landmark" reform and a "sea change for citizens.
-On August 9, the President signed our crucial Innovation Agenda in math and science and basic research to restore our ability to compete in a global economy.
-On August 4, we passed a historic Energy Independence initiative-which will
reduce our dependence on foreign oil and create new American jobs. The efficiency
measures alone will have the carbon reduction effect of taking every car in America
off the road by 2030.
On August 3, the President signed our 9-11 Commission bill into law-a sweeping
new security bill to protect America from terrorism-such as requiring 100 percent
airline cargo screening, screening of seaborne cargo before it gets to the U.S., and
improved communications between first responders.
-The House and Senate have passed SCHIP bills protecting health care for millions of
children, and providing for millions more uninsured children to be enrolled.
-On July 24, we celebrated the first minimum wage increase in a decade taking
effect.
-By the anniversary of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, we delivered critical gulf coast
recovery: we waived the Stafford Act, saving the region .9 billion and jump-starting
20,000 stalled projects. We appropriated .4 billion to assist levee reconstruction,
housing, health care, education, small business, and public safety.
-In the House, we have passed all 12 of 12 of our fiscally responsible spending bills
with bipartisan votes restoring pay-as-you-go, deficit reduction discipline.
Here is what the democrats have done and want to keep on doing. Just click here and go thru page after page after page. Nobody is making this up.
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