Stress, grief and pain... | Arthritis Information

My Father-in-law passed away suddenly on Thursday morning and I haven't gotten a lot of sleep but the pain in my ankles and feet is like a throbbing pain. I don't know if this is just because of lack of sleep or the pain and grief of lossing someone so special. The visitation isn't until tomorrow and the funeral is Monday so I am really going to try hard and get enough rest before then but it is hard to sleep with my mind racing with memories.

Does anyone have any experience with this? Do you think that it is lack of sleep or the death or a combo. I am going to try and rest by my husband and mother-in-law need me and so does my son. My sons are 4 and 2, the 2 year old doesn't understand he just keeps asking where his papa is, but my 4 year old gets it a little. He starting crying this morning when he saw the obituary in the paper, it was heartbreaking.

I'm sorry to hear about your family's loss.
Stress is a major contributor to RA's pain and you're going through a lot of stress. Can you get a baby sitter for your sons so that you have one less thing to worry about?
I know for me, I try to take on the world and do everything for everyone else, you're grieving and stressed, if there are others wanting and willing to help, allow them to- you take it easy. Your family needs you to be healthy.

When I am unable to get to sleep because of pain or what ever, I take a couple Tylenol PM, it helps me get a good night's rest, and I'm not foggy in the morning.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss and my thoughts and prayers are with you.
~Audrey
Thanks anaudlife. My mom and sister have been helping with the kids, but I think I will see if they can maybe take them so I can get some sleep, just always feel guilty asking. Thank you for the good advice.I feel guilty asking for someone to look after my girls too! But you would do it in a heart beat for someone else right?
It's great to have family!
Take care~
Reegie so sorry to hear about your loss. I think stress plays a big part in our pain from RA. Hopefully for family can help you out with your sons so you might aleviate some of the stress.
Since having RA I have never dealt with the loss of a loved one but have gone through stressful things that have caused me to lose sleep. I think it could be the combination of both things.
Once again so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my prayers.
Mom2
I agree. Stress definitely affects RA. Take care of yourself.

Jan

Thank you everyone. My mom and sister are taking the boys this afternoon. I think my husband and I might go have a drink after doing a few more funeral plans.So sorry for your family's loss.

Take care of yourself too.

Stress will affect how you feel- hope you feel better soon.

wanttobeRAfree2008-08-02 12:52:25Reegie - I am so sorry. I know from personal experience that the sudden, unexpected death of someone close to you is different than if you knew they were terminal and had time to adjust in your mind to their eventual death. My MIL dropped down dead from a heart problem exactly 3 months after my mother died of pancreatic cancer, which lasted 9 months. My ex and I were both shocked, as of course it was his mother, but also it went on for days as both of them had the same burial orders and so 90 days later we were going through a surreal period of using the same funeral home, organizing the cremation, a memorial, scattering of ashes, etc.

My point is the suddeness of this can really rock you hard and this shock has nothing to do with having RA/AI, but then it becomes part of the stress of dealing with death, which always causes me to flare. Your FIL with be in my thoughts and prayers. You will make it through.

Reegie, I just wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry for you and your familiy's loss. It sounds like you know what to do to get through this stressful period. LindyMy sincere sympathy on your loss. I would suggest calling your doctor first thing tomorrow and see if you can get a systemic cortisone shot or a medrol pack to get you through the next few days.

Ann

Thank you everyone! I am trying so hard to be strong for my husband, mother in law and sons. I finally broke down tonight, I couldn't help it, I loved that man. I also just physically hurt worse. I thank each of you for all of your kind words. When you feel you should keep it all in (stupid I know) it feels good to talk to people who are kind and understand!!Even in all of that, and I can't imagine how hard it must be for you, don't feel you have to do more than you know you can do. [QUOTE=justsaynoemore]Reegie - I am so sorry. I know from personal experience that the sudden, unexpected death of someone close to you is different than if you knew they were terminal and had time to adjust in your mind to their eventual death. My MIL dropped down dead from a heart problem exactly 3 months after my mother died of pancreatic cancer, which lasted 9 months. My ex and I were both shocked, as of course it was his mother, but also it went on for days as both of them had the same burial orders and so 90 days later we were going through a surreal period of using the same funeral home, organizing the cremation, a memorial, scattering of ashes, etc.

[/QUOTE]

I am very sorry for all that you had to go through in such a short time. I am so sorry about your mom and your mother in law.

Reegie, please accept my sympathies on the loss of your family member. Stress plays a very big part in ra. Please try to take care of yourself during this difficult time.

My prayers and sympathies are with you and your family.

take care