When to give up? vent | Arthritis Information

 

OK I know the answer is I shouldn't give up, but I am on the verge of nervous breakdown, I have been sick since January, I am in major pain, no relief in sight, have been to 4 Dr.s all of whom had something different to say but none could offer a diagnosis of anything.

I go to another Dr on the 26th, but I am contemplating just canceling the appointment. Maybe Dr #2 was right and it is "all in my head" I did not think I could conjure up pain, but maybe I am just imagining I hurt, can't breath, and am fatigued more than ever in my life...

RD said I needed to exercise and lose weight. Well I've lost 30 pounds since last Sept and feel worse now than I did before. I can't exercise because I get dizzy and pass out because my BP goes to high, but cardiologist says my heart is fine. Every joint hurts, some more than others, work is so exhausting now, it is like I am doing 24 hours of work instead of 8. I can't sleep at night even though I am exhausted, it seems like I am constantly sick with runny nose/cold, and stomach issues. OTC meds and NSAIDS are not working, and I am getting depressed.

I went from being a very active 28 yr old to someone who can't even play with her kids anymore, or dance or exercise like I used to. I feel like a 90 year old woman. Even a trip to the store (something I used to look forward to) is like climbing a mountain and so exhausting.

I feel like no one believes I am sick, the Dr.s, my (so called) friends, my family, even my husband has started making snarky comments. All I want to do is cry, I even cried at work today. My mom wrote an email that suggested it was in my head. No one can feel what my body feels, but it dies not feel normal anymore. I started this journey with a positive attitude, but after 5 months that attitude has been replaced with doubt and depression.

I don't know what else to do.
I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time.  Not having the support of those you love just makes it tougher to endure, but don't give up.   Maybe this next doctor's appt will be  your turning point!  You just never know......  Have you asked your husband or your mom (or even your closest friend) to accompany you to a doctor's appt?  Maybe they would learn a little something that might teach them a little more tolerance and understanding....that can go a long way toward helping you cope.   Sometimes, they just need to hear it from a doctor, and it becomes more real.

Did anyone suggest it may be fibromyalgia? I don't have it but reading your symptoms it seems like what I've heard about it.

My doctor whom I love says "Listen to your body". Keep pursuing doctors- you are hearing that you are ill. It's not in your head.

Best of luck to you in finding a good doctor who will make you well.

The RD did the "test" for fibro and pretty much all he did was lightly press on my back and ask if it hurt (It didn't) and said I did not have it.

My husband accompanied me to the RD and cardiologist. Unfortunately that was when the RD said my labs were not high enough to diagnose (the labs were 6 months old and I have gotten worse since then) and that I had Rheumatism and I needed to lose weight and exercise, and the cardiologist said my heart was fine even after I passed out in the Dr office after my BP went up to 159/109 during the stress test.

I know I can say whatever to these Dr.s this was the first time they had seen me, but even though I am overweight I have lost weight and am still losing weight. I was also very active even when I was at my heaviest weight, but now I find it difficult to do the smallest tasks.  My PCP knows that something is wrong, she saw me healthy and sees a difference in me now, and is sending me to the specialists but nothing is coming back and she is as frustrated as I am.

My mom is 5 hours away and just wants to comment on everything even when she has no clue what is going on. I am just utterly frustrated and tired of putting forth the effort and money to all these Dr.s who can't give me a diagnosis of anything.
jennmommi, This is how I feel as well. They won't tell me point blank what I have and they do not do blood work or x-rays any more. My Rd was more concerned about me weighing 81lbs. Than he was with my toes curled my ankles swollen the none use of my knees and hands. He prescibed nothing! It is not in my head..I hurt all day. He told me to take Iburprofin. I wondered about the inflafation on all my joints but he seemed unconcerned. I suppose it has to do with the fact that I no longer have insurance and filing for disability. I know how you feel and much love and hugs to you!My first RD sounds a lot like the ones you have seen.  I finally had enough of him and told him what he could do with his 'practice'.  I "self" medicated for a while, until I was at my wits end and thought my life was over.  Finally, one day, I just nearly had a breakdown in my dermatologist's office.  He called and got me in to see the best RD at the Medical University here in town, and she has been my miracle!  I just don't know what I'll do if she ever retires. 

 

If there is a large medical university (school) nearby, it may be a good idea to try to see one of their Rheumatologists.  They always seem to be on the cutting edge of available treatments, and much, much, much more "in the know" about how best to aggressively diagnose and treat auto-immune illnesses.

 

I wish both of you the best...

 

Gosh, Jenn, you sound so sad.  Your support system is not what it should be.  Doctors hate to admit they don't know what's wrong so they throw out the "It's all in your head."  line.  It's so much easier for them to say than admit they just don't have the expertise to dx you.  Somewhere out there is the doctor who will help you.  It may be this next appointment, or maybe the one after that, or the one next January, but you won't know if you don't keep trying.  WE know it's not in your head.  You sound like a lot of us here, in varying degrees and I agree it also sounds like Fibro.  Why would you want to make this stuff up?  You're not having a good time, you're miserable.  Oh to let some of those people walk a mile in your shoes.  Then they'd understand. 

Keep the faith.  Help is out there. 

 

Why would you even consider giving up?  You have children who need you.  Failure is not an option.  Keep on trying until you find someone who will help you!what an Axx that RD is... I had one like that too.. he said my "situation" was viral because ALL my labs came back normal..

 

duh..... I am sero-negative... and thank goodness I found an RD (who teaches still and is on the cutting edge) who didnt' give up on me... couldn't give me anything more than NSAIDS w/out DX.... (not to mask symptoms) but when I flared again.. he drew fluid and analyzed it.. and saw that I did have RD still/again?

 

don't give up.. see someone else... there is someone out there who is compassionate and caring and will work to find out what is happening...

 

Hang in there, honey!!

I have had problems "in my head" on and off since 2001.  Finally dx as RA last December.  Hang in there, you are strong!I was crazy and making it all up for drugs until a little over 2 years ago.  Don't stop until you build your team who tests and helps you.  I blew through over 40-odd mds in my area to uncover about 7 health professionals I trust for my ever-changing rheumatic condition.  Take care ~~ CathyI am sure it isn't in your head.

 

I just want to tell you to hang in there and I hope for you that some answers can be found.  And you can stop hurting so bad.  It's horrible when we can't even play around with the children.

Hang in there!  I know it is hard, but keep fighting.  I tell this story to give you hope, although it is somewhat different.  At about 25 years old, I had gallbladder problems.  My dr. said everything from infection to Toxic shock syndrome to a mental problem.  I didn't fit the "standard" gallbladder patient (female, fat and forty)  I only had one at that time (female).  To make a long story short, because he d*cked around so long, I had to have emergency gall bladder surgery because it almost ruptured.  Unfortunately, before the dx, I started thinking he was right and it was all in my head.  BUT, I knew there was something wrong.  You know your body better than anyone else.  Keep working until you find someone who will listen and figure out what is going on with you.  Keep your head up, it will all work out!

PhatsYou're not alone in this!! After seeing two Rd's in 2006 who did nothing to help me (the second stopped short of saying it was in my head, but did tell me he hoped my pain stopped as mysteriously as it started!) For two years I have suffered and finally got up the nerve to see a third RD later this month. It is sad that you don't have the support you need from your family, but hang in there. When it comes to husbands, sometimes I think they don't want to acknowledge our problems as serious because then it would mean it is something out of their control! Just stick to your guns and keep that next appt!JM - have you tried prednisone or a medrol dosepak?  I'm not suggesting using them long-term, but if you have a positive response to the steroids, that in and of itself is a valuable diagnostic tool.  I am seronegative, but my dramatic response to a medrol dosepak (went from practically bedridden to full of energy in a couple of days) convinced my rheumatologist that there was definitely systemic inflammation, and the symptoms pointed squarely at RA.
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