hi guys! just a question re: RA | Arthritis Information

my boyfriend has very severe RA and is on heaps of medication. he's currently in his final year of school and, after briefly getting better, recently got results that the RA has gotten much worse

he now has to start fortnightly injections (i'm not sure what the name is, sorry! but i'm sure you all know He is probably on Humira as I believe that is injected every two weeks. I am on a similar drug, Enbrel (twice weekly injections)and it has changed my life. I feel like a never had RA. Hopefully, Humira will give him a similar result and then that's all he'll need.well. I hope he counts himself lucky to have a girlfriend like you!! support is so important when battling this.

As was said, probably Humira.........

I don't know exactly what you can say to comfort him........ would giving him some good literature about those who have been successful on Humira work?

Be with him.... be understanding .. be considerate...... and understand that him not feeling well physically sometimes manifests itself into depression and anger... Know it's not directed toward you though you may feel it at times..

good luck to your friend!

Sarah, first of all let me say how nice it is of you to come here and look for ways to support your boyfriend. He is very lucky to be with someone like you.

I'm sorry to hear he's doing so poorly and it can be very difficult to cheer someone up when they are faced with this condition. I would suggest reassuring him that people with RA tend to go through ups and downs and it can take awhile to find the right treatment, but what he's feeling right now is not going to be that way forever. I would also suggest trying to plan activities for the two of you that he can easily do...dinners, movies, trivia games...things that aren't physical. But then understand when he's not feeling up to it, and remember not to take it personally. I think it is especially hard on men with this disease because most have been raised to think they are the strong ones, the caretakers and providers. So just be sensitive to how he may be feeling about that.

I hope he's feeling better soon!

DO you live together? Maybe cook some of his favorite things or take out food. Do some of his laundry and chores. Just do them without saying anything. Massages are nice. Just be there with him is alot and it is very sweet of you to come on here and ask. What don't you ask him what you could do? Tell him yourself, that means alot.

My hubby comes home from work and says after a kiss "what do you need me to do?" Most of the time it nothing I need done but I always tell him. There's always laundry. Now he will start a load or fold one. That means more when I don't have to ask. He just does it.

Love that man!

Stan's support of me and helping was the most appreciated when he did the little things, bringing coffee to me in bed, making dessert, deciding that he'd cook every other day, always making sure he's down the steps first, in case I fell, these are the things that I appreciate more than any of the big things. He did those also only because I couldn't. Even though I'm in clinical remission (thanks to Humira) he's still doing the small things that bring a smile to my face. You'll know what you need to do by the smiles. He might want to join the forum. There's a lot of information here and many people who truly care. Lindy

thanks everyone for your responses!

innerglow, i think it definitely affects him being male. he's very traditionally caring/protective and likes to feel like he's helping me a lot, so when i have to open his water bottles because his hands are too weak or help support him when he's walking (especially considering he's 6'4 and i'm 5'4 :P) it upsets him a fair bit i think :(

LinB/CinDee, i will definitely take your advice and do all the little helpful things i can for him :) when you really think about it, it's those little things people do for you that make you feel much better.

and i never knew the injections were so succesful! wow, hopefully they help him as much as they have everyone else on here :)

and i was just wondering (sorry for all the questions on RA, i feel so dumb!) what's the average age roughly? i know there's juvenile (my brother had that when he was younger) but apart from that it seems to be mostly older people. he's only 18 and i was wondering, would his age mean he might have a better response to treatment? will it get better or worse over time? big generalisations i know, but hopefully someone can help

thankyou everyone so much for your suggestions and knowledge - i really really appreciate it!
Hi Sarah; Welcome.

I'm on Humira as well as Methotrexate. It's made a huge difference for me. Hopefully your boyfriend will respond well also. Sounds like his doctor is taking quick action to slow things down. That's good.

Keep in mind that RA is not something that you just get over. Even if he responds well there will be times when he doesn't feel good. Don't get discouraged....and encourage him to not get discouraged either. He'll need to learn to slow down and listen to his body and rest more than he might have in the past.

All of us with RA make the mistake of over doing it when we feel better and then suffer later. I have a really understanding spouse who knows a lot about RA and always reminds me not to over do things. That's been helpful to me. Having a partner who's loving, understanding and supportive makes all the difference in the world. I know first hand; because I've had both. One that wasn't supportive....and now one who's amazing.

Your boyfriend is lucky to have you. Not everyone would take the time to look for help like you're doing. Hope he realizes what he's got.

Introduce your boyfriend to AI. The message boards here are a great way for him to learn more and knowledge is power!

Take Care.

thanks Lovie! yeah, i should make him keep in mind that just because he feels better doesn't mean he IS(well, assuming he'll get better!)

and turns out it IS humira. fingers crossed it works!
It probably is Humira, and if it works like it did me--he won't be depressed long. Only two doses and I was dancing. It truly was a miracle medication. It stings a bit, like a bee sting. So the first two were the hardest for me, once it starting working a bee sting is nothing compared to renewed energy, relief from pain and no stiffness. So if you are going to help him with the shot, leave it out of frig for a half hour and remember the sting only lasts 15 seconds.

Don't try to make him exercise, do say "you'll feel better" all kinds of caring people try to "help" us by the wrong kind of encouragement.

Make coffee, dinner, be cheerful. You are very sweet to be so careing.

In case you are wondering about staying with someone with this monster, let me say that medical science is moving fast with better meds all the time and soon probably a cure. So his goal now should be to do anything to prevent damage till the cure comes. Taking oodles of meds will help as all research indicates hitting it as hard as possible right from the start. You are a wonderful person and it sounds like your relationship is good too. Do not be afraid of RA, it makes us better people. More compassionate and patience. So you have a good man.

hessalina, how did you feel before humira? How long have you had RA? Did you have any joint destruction? Where was your pain the most? I am asking because I am considering this drug. Thank you for your response.
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