How do you have a regular sex life with a long term illness/pain like RA?
Last year it took almost 8 months to find the right medication. I was doing well until July of this year ...I became allergic to enbrel and had to wait almost 2 months until all of my infections cleared of up I am now starting a new medication but my pain is great even with vicaden.
Thank you
I find that regular sex makes me feel better physically and mentally. I always make time for sex for that reason. I'm not saying that I'm ready for it 100% of the time, but I have found that even during the times that I'm not really wanting to have sex, most times I will anyway and always end up glad I did.http://tinyurl.com/a38my
This link is to a special edition of a newsletter a friend of mine and I did. She does a weekly newsletter for chronic disease, auntoimmune disease. And occasionally I help. So this time I did help somewhat, wrote the intro. My main job though is as backup person in cae she is ill.
Hi, True intimacy isn't found in physical sex, its in the conversation and understanding that grows over time.
Mark and I have been married 30 years, and I am a woman whose sex drive has remained very high for the entire time. RA hasn't affected the drive, but it has affected the sex.
I want him just as much. I see him and think "grrrrrowwww yum" but when I shift position I say "Yeeooowch"
What works for us is talking and talking. I can say I am soooo ready, but I can't have intercourse, please just give me oral, or manual, and I will help you. Sometimes I will say Just stroke me, not even sexually, just hold me and gently massage me... and the slow gentle massage loosens my joints enough that I am able to make love when I thought I couldn't.
We bought special pillows because my hips hurt so much, and we are pretty limited to one or 2 positions.. Sometimes we start to make love, but have to stop, because my hip or knee or shoulder goes out, so then we cuddle and laugh.. it is funny otherwise Id just cry. and we try again after my spasm subsides.
I make sure to take my pain meds before we make love. When I was on Enbrel we timed the shots and his Cialis so we knew what we were doing all weekend LOL.
99% of sex is in the mind...enjoy your love for your husband, and work it out in your mind that you will figure out a way to have a good sex life.
My fiance is so wonderful when it comes to intimacy and sex. He knows there is absolutely no sex if i am tired, and its less if i am in pain. so he always says to me when i get home from work, why don't you take a nap and we can eat when you get up, then after dinner he will give me a wonderful massage to loosen me up, by then i feel so much better and am ready to go...
I think that an understanding and compassionate man in very important to people going through what we are going through, and they make all the difference between living normally or not. in my opinion that is.....
I agree with each of you about intimacy and sex. There are several people who only feel better after actualy having sex, however, some feel better after any type of intimacy. The release of the endorphins either way makes all the difference with RA.
I am 34 and my hubby is 28; we've been married 9 years...I enjoy both, intercourse and intimacy without intercourse--just cuddling or stroking, massaging. I have difficulty with my hips and legs sometimes during intercourse. I did invest in the "wedge" to assist with sexual positions.