Daughters Breast Cancer | Arthritis Information

Hi, All, I have written to you all about a few eeks ago telling my daughter has breast Cancer she is 36 and has a son 3 years old. I am in a bad flare right now and I think it is from stress. I live in wisconsin and my daughter lives in Charlotte NC so far away from us. My Husband and I flew there on the Sept. 8th. to the 12. She has surgery on the 10th. Both breast removed and 11 limp notes removed she has stage 3 cancer. It is so hard for a mother to go threu this. My mind don't shout off no matter how I try. She called today upset and told me she has to have chemo and readition. She is very scared she has been thru so much already. Is it wrong for me to think I wish it would be me instead of her. I get so much support from this site.. And I have been so down about everything. I am a mother I guess. I wish my health would be good so I could go and help her. But there have been days I can not even lift my arms up or walk on my feet. What kinda help could I be. When she had her surgery I tryed to keep house clean and do the wash and it took everything out of me. And the day I flew home I went into a bad flare and have not been good sense. Thank you all for listening to me. JoanI am so sorry! Sending prayers for you and your family.Joan - no, you are not wrong to think it should be you and not your precious daughter, especially when you know how sick you are with our common disease and how young she is with alot of living left to do. You and your family are in my prayers and please stay in touch. Take care ~~ CathyJoan, I am so so sorry. I'll be praying for your daughter too.

So sorry to hear about your daughter. It must be even more difficult for you and her when you're so far apart. Maybe next time you go down to see her, just focus on spending time with her and not worry about keeping things up. The time together is more important than a clean house. Extra prayers for you and your family.

Cathy

So sorry you and your family are going through this, Joan. I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

Joan, I am so sorry for you and your daughter. I am 31 and I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. When I am sick or scared I want my mom, not to clean my house or do my laundry but to hold my hand and love me like only a mom can. You are such a caring MOM and I am sorry you are in such pain.

Joann, I'm so sorry about your daughter, I will keep you both in my prayers.

I also wanted to let you know that Today I spent most of the day getting chemo and radiation. I started my treatments on the 15th. of Sept. they say it's a hard trip, but it's better then cancer. So far I've had no reaction. If your daughter gets into a good cancer center and gets the right suspport and treatment, She will be ok. Try not to worry, She will need you, take care of your self. It's a long road and she needs you, but you will be no good to her or your self if you don't take care of yourself. I most likely know what your going thur, been there with a sister, now myself. wishing and praying for you both.

Rusty

rusty2008-09-22 20:09:43Angel. I'm so sorry to hear about this. Does your daughter have Her2Nu? Please know that the treatments offered are so advanced and there are more and more survivors of breast cancer every day. Can you contact a support group in your area that will help you through this? You do not have to go through this alone. Please also make sure your daughter has a good support network at her end. This is so important. There are millions of survivors of this disease and it would be wonderful for you to hear about some of the success stories. She will have a fight a head of her but she needs to keep herself constantly informed of what she needs to do to beat this. Good luck and keep us posted. Prayers can help I believe in that. I have known many cancer survivers. All types and all severities and all ages.

I so pray for you to regain your health so you can be with your daughter. And I pray that your daughter will beat this.

Hi Joan......I feel for you very much, when my sister had her breast removed she went into a deep depression, even though everyone around gave her so much support. She eventually improved over time and now twenty five years on, she has just found out her daughter has ovarian cancer and has to have over 6 weeks of radiation & chemo.

My sister, like you lives a few thousand miles from her, and has just come home after 4 weeks of being with her while the tests were being done. She does feel like you, wants to help but can't be with her all the time, so she gives her support by phone, but it is contantly on her mind as well, & I know there is this constant cloud hanging over her head. How can a mother be happy when her child is suffering, especially one so young with a young family.

But you need to look after yourself and maybe you can make short visits over time when you are feeling better. My prayers are with your daughter & you....Annie

Joan, I am so sorry your daughter is going through this. As a mother, I can understand you wanting to spare her from having to fight this while you take it on yourself, I think it would break every mother's heart to have to deal with this. I agree with the other poster, a clean house is less important than just being with her. You can always hire a neighbor teen or someone to do a little cleaning or babysitting while you are there. I will pray for your family.

Rusty, best wishes with your treatments. It would be awesome for you to continue to do so well. You are in my prayers as well...

Angel -

Hugs and more hugs,'

Pip

I can only imagine what you are all going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. Joan, you and your daughter will be in my prayers until the crisis is over.

Huggin ya Joan......
Prayers for you and your daughter!!!Bless your heart I hope everything go's okay for you. Joan

Lots of hugs sent to you Joan. Take care.

Lyn xxx

Joan.... I know the pains of seeing a family member go through breast cancer. My mother is an 8 year survivor. You and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers.

She and you need a support group. There are many. If you need help finding one let me know and I'll be glad to assist.

And know that this ugly monster CAN be conquered.

Joan,
As a mother of two girls, I can barely imagine what you must be feel right now! When there's nothing a mum can do to fix their baby's problem, it's so frustrating and heartbreaking, a roller coaster of fear and anger. I am praying that you are going to have an amazing experience of pain relief, energy and peace in order to be there right beside your daughter, fighting this into defeat!
When you need to vent and release, let us share it with you. We'll all talk trash to cancer and kick it off the playground!! In your face cancer!!

Tons of prayers for you and your daughter and families,
Shine on~
Audrey
Prayers for you and your daughter....Hiking_galThank you for all your love and support you have given me and my daughter. I am not sure just when she will start her Chemo & Radition. Now she tells me she has to go to a dentist because she has a bad tooth or two that has to be fixed before she can even start chemo. What next my daufgter has stage 3 cancer. When she started it was stage 1 before surgery now it is stage 3. This has me really scared. But thanks for all your prayers and I will try to keep you updared. Joanhang in there, Joan...... she'll be leaning on you alot in the coming months..

I will keep her and you in my thoughts..

Joan, I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. Just try to remember that medicine has come a very long way in treating breast cancer and there are millions of survivors who will testify to that.

You are both in my prayers.

Hi Joan,

I am so sorry your daughter is going through this. The big C stinks. It is so scary and overwhelming. It is really important to get those teeth fixed and cleaned before chemo. Otherwise, she can get a life threatening infection if her counts drop extremely low.

I am so glad she is getting that taken care of. It is one more thing, but worth getting done.

Chemo is doable. It isn't fun, but it is doable. I did well with mine. In fact, being on chemo was easier than when I have uncontrolled RA. The fatigue of chemo is about the same or less than the fatigue of RA. Everyone would ask me about the fatigue and I said its no problem. I have lots of experience in that area. In fact, I felt less fatigued.

My dad lives far away from me. I had chemo every 3 weeks. He and my step mom sent a card, gift, something for every session. I looked forward to it. They sent me a hat, book, sweater, ... . It let me know that they cared.

I went to a psych when I was diagnosed. At my cancer center it was free and I figured I would take advantage of it. Its great to be able to express your fears, anxiety, etc. to someone impartial. Well I'm a venter I guess. I didn't want to vent to my family since they were already stressed.

Also, suggest she find a message board for breast cancer. It can be a lifeline for people who are afraid and you can get tips to make the journey easier.

I know a woman that has had metastic breast cancer for years. She is incredibly upbeat and just gets treatment to keep it stable.

I know you wish it were you. Every parent feels that way.

Hang in there.

Judy

One a Day is having a breast cancer awareness campaign, www.oneaday.com with Ellen DeGeneres, FYI.
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