Life is looking about as bleak as can be | Arthritis Information

I have hit road blocks at every turn. I applied for a job at a very nice waterfront hotel. The lady loved me and hired me on the spot pending a drug test. I told her I had RA and Lupus and took pain meds for them, but they were prescribed by a Dr. and they did not affect my ability to work. She said it was perfectly fine as she has others with medical issues. She said when the test came back she would call me to bring in the perscription bottles (and I was going to include a note from my dr) A week went by so I stopped in and they said it hadn't come back yet. I waited another week and called, and they said it hadn't come back yet. I told him it had been two weeks and he said he'd call back. He immediately called back and said all jobs are filled, goodbye - very brusque. Right away I called the front desk and asked about job openings because their giant billboard outside says they are hiring for everything and the girl tells me they have lots of job openings... Lovely. This is worse than when my other job cut my hours down from 30/wk to 4/wk when he found out I was disabled. I left quite a message on the general manager's voice mail, detailing the events and will hopefully get a call back. I also called the ADA, and a few other places for advice I would like to share with him.

My court date for the restraining order against my husband is first thing tomorrow morning. I found a tiny apartment, but they base the deposit on our credit history. Mine was stellar until hubby took over the bills and hid everything from me. Now I have to come up with 00 for the deposit and first and last is 00. What am I going to do? I have called every low income housing in the county and everyone has a waiting list of a year to who knows. People don't tend to want to give up low cost housing. I've been to social services to see if I can get some help, but that takes time. I've been to the housing assistance places and they all work together. I am 105 on the list. I have no money at all. Even the churches and clubs like the Elks are tapped out, but serve a hot meal once a week. Each church serves on a different day. DSHS did say I qualified for food stamps and are trying to get me money to cover co-pays, which I never heard of. I average about 0 in co-pays per month, including my meds.

Now that spouse is out of the house, I am getting the mail and we are three months behind on everything and most are also now over limit because of late fees, etc.

Oh, I did find out today I qualify for ssi, but again another lengthy process...Lots of paperwork, but worth it in the end. The DSHS guy said you have to be careful because if you get money from one place, it's taken away from somewhere else.

I am a smart educated middle class to upper middle class person and I am at my breaking point. I'm ready to say nevermind, because living with the abuse is easier than what I have been through the last two weeks... I'm flaring and I don't feel well.

Nothing is worse than living with an abuser. This isnt going to be an easy process and it may even get harder but think of the reasons you are doing it. This time next year you will look back on all of this and realise the sacrifice was worth it. You can do it. I have ssen first hand with my sister that living with someone who is violent isnt even an option. Is there not a family member who will let you stay with them until you are able to get more assistance, even if it means moving to another state. Is there no way you can also speak to the woman who hired you pending the drug test to find ot what happened with the job? It doesnt sond right.

Take care and keep fighting for yourself.

you don't have to tell HR that you are on prescription meds or have a disease. There is a place on the drug testing form that you list your prescrptions and supplements That information is confidential between you and the drug testing company. The employer is only allowed to receive the results.

Buckeye. how does that happen? what does the employer see on those results and if it is positive, how does the employer interpret that? I'm just not sure how this process works. I also didn't think she should tell them but how do you get around that if you have opiates in your system? Also, I think it is odd if they were all ready to hire her until they got her drug screen results. [QUOTE=lorster]Buckeye. how does that happen? what does the employer see on those results and if it is positive, how does the employer interpret that? I'm just not sure how this process works. I also didn't think she should tell them but how do you get around that if you have opiates in your system? Also, I think it is odd if they were all ready to hire her until they got her drug screen results.[/QUOTE]

The process varies by employer, lab, and state. At the facility used by my current employer, you do not disclose anything about current medications unless and until they get a positive hit. Then you are called by a physician from the testing company and you provide him/her with proof. I've never had to do this; the last time I got picked for a random wiz quiz I had been taking vicodin and xanax the weekend before; I was sure they would show up on the test on Monday! But I got notified 2 days later that I "passed."
So sorry you're going through this, OM. Do you have any family that can help out until you get on your feet?You are right buckeye. You don't have to tell the employer or the testing company anything about meds. If they test and get a positive the testing company contacts you, once it's sorted out they don't even tell the employer ordering the tests what went on. You also are NOT required by law to disclose illnesses such as RA to a perspective employer and if you do and they deny you employment you can sue the crap out of them and I most ertainly would!I think they were ready to hire her until she told the she had multiple chronic illness and relys on daily pain medication. If she failed the test they have to tell her she failed and as JR said the testing company would have contacted her first before submitting those results to the employer .

Is it possible that they contacted your former boss at the hotel and he said something that turned them against you?Hillhoney, that is very illegal. Not sure they can do that....but then again, it is hard to prove.Owie - my thoughts and prayers are with you. Acceptance is the only answer. Acceptance that this moment right now is God's will for you. I have no answers, my rage at how women are second class citizens is not worth it anymore. You take care, and remember that someone is thinking of you. CathyLorster that happens all the time. It's not legal, but happens. What's the chances you can prove it, slim probably.Lorster, why would that be illegal? I'm confused?I will tell you what. The hospital did a drug test on me. The results showed i was not taken anything. There is no test for oxycodone. The pelimemanary test came back that i was on morphine but was ruled out by the lab. I do not know if vicoden does not show up or if the prednisone altered the test. So yes next time do not say anything until you have to.I told the lab first, as I thought there would be a place on there I could list my pain meds, but she said they didn't do that anymore. She recommended that I go back and tell the lady who hired me that it would probably come back positive and she said not to worry, when the time came, they would ask for prescriptions then... It's been days and the GM never called me back. Oh well, his loss. I have to believe there is something better out there for me.

As it turns out, my counselor is also a counselor at the college and said I could take classes for free and they would pay for all books and supplies and also give me a living expense and pay for gas to get there to finish up my degree. I'm not sure I am mentally ready to handle it, especially going to school with all the youngin's my kids went to school with. How weird is that???

It is not wierd but rather perfectly normal. Many women do not find teh time to go back until they get there children raised. You will not be the only one your age. It will be probably even be enjoyable to you.Talk about no support, I just called my parents about this idea and they said I shouldn't be thinking about anything, but finding a place to live at this point. They thought it was a terrible idea. neither the testing co or the hotel person ever called me. My dad said they may have run a credit check on me and as I have said before, hubby completely obliterated my good credit by not paying our bills.Owiemom, can you go to a shelter for abused women? Do they have that where you live? It's not an ideal situation but you can only do what you can do. I wish you the best of luck with this terrible situation. Hugs, WendyI have worked for the same company for 21 years and I never mention I have RA--I am afraid I will loose my job! When interviewing NEVER tell them you have a DBL. They are looking at from a financial view too--they do not want you on their insurance--they are scared you will get hired and go on on DBL--thus their insurance rates go up. Huge health insurance claims, etc. I don't approve but I do know how they think. I guess if they ask if you have limitations on the interview--you have to be truthful. But don't volunteer any info. Good luck. My last drug testing, I took my script printouts and the woman about had a cow - said put them away, I cannot see them or know about them. If anything comes up, the doctor will call you to see if you have a script and they check it out. Sounded reasonable to me. And I passed, couldn't believe it. Owie - get yourself settled, get your kids settled, get your work settled - and then go back and look at education. More education is never a bad thing. I am always thinking of you. I am glad you found the courage to leave, as the stats show that in abusive relationships, if they continue to fester, it always ends in violence. Stay safe. CathyThanks for the advice, you guys are awesome! Catnip, It wasn't until after I did the drug test that I went back to let the lady who interview me know (on the advice of the pee tester person). Oh well, it just wasn't meant to be. Besides, Rheumy wrote a letter to the courts saying he did not want me working at all until further notice. Sadly, that doesn't pay the bills...

Wendy, there are abused women's shelters here, but they are all full and besides, I wouldn't be able to take my kids because of their ages. I am on a list for emergency housing and am still 105 on the list.