After two solid days of crying, I'm ready to talk about it. We were supposed to go to court just on the restraining order, but it was a slow court day cuz they moved hubby and me to another chamber and the judge said let's try to get everything done today, which we did.
I did not get a restraining order because hubby begged the judge not to because he is in the process of getting hired on by U S Customs and a restraining order would eliminate him and his ability to make more money to support "his" family. Ugh, she bought it, but said if he so much as breathed wrong, she'd slap one on him so fast his head would spin.
He told the judge all the bills were caught up for the month and I pulled out a stack of bills that just arrived arrived that were all 2-3 mo behind. The judge split them between us. He has a job and a retirement. I have no job, just child support, so she ordered him to pay spousal support for a year. In my papers I listed my out of pocket medical expenses and at the end, she said she did not believe they were that high, and I blew a gasket. The lady that went with me squeezed my hand really hard, lol. I'm surprised I'm not in jail
think I started with "how dare you..."
The kids and I get to stay in the house for up to 3 mo, but if I can, I need to move next week. Hubby cannot afford spousal support, the mortgage two car payments, med insur. and two cc bills. He is sleeping in his truck until payday. He wants to sell the house, so we'll move out and he can come back and get the house ready to sell. I gave him a list of men's shelters, places that serves food, and gives food baskets, but he thinks it's wrong to take food from them when it's his fault he screwed up. He's too proud. I guess it is because he grew up poor and I grew up in a wealthy family.
The last thing I asked was to sell one of our pieces of art that I thought would bring the most money and hubby pleaded with her not to let me, but the judge agreed. I need money, not art.
Hubby is in denial about us separating and thinks if he gets our finances in order life will be back to normal. He has asked me out twice since the hearing on fri. and both times I told him no.
I'm so sorry, but I'm glad things are moving forward. Hang in there!can you guys sell the 2 cars and buy cars you don't have to make payments onI was thinking the same thing about the cars. A cheaper car; especially one with no payment would make a big difference every month. Your car payments are at least 350 to 400 a month; right? Selling the art sounds wise too. Who cares if you've got expensive art if you have no home to put it in.
I know all this is hard; but in a couple years from now you'll look back and be thankful you've done what you've done.
One of the cars is my son's. He got caught in a flash flood last year and there were so many claims, the insurance co. just paid everyone off. His car was completely paid for (by him) so they were sending him a check for ,000. He got lucky and found an amazing deal for a pristine jet black firebird sport edition, and the dealer was willing to work it so it was exactly ,000 out the door. Since hubby is on the policy, the check went to him, he kept it and financed son's car that should have been paid for. He didn't tell me until 6mo after, and of course I blew a gasket.
Hubby has a beautiful dodge ram 4x4 with the tow pkg, shell, carpet kit with padding, etc. just gorgeous! He has tried and tried, and can't sell because he owes way too much still, but it will be paid off in less than two years. He has gone to every dealer in the county and they will buy it for what he owes, but he needs money for a junker...
I feel much better today. I am going to get out of bed - first time since my court date, talk to the apartment manager and enclose a note explaining my ruined credit. My ex- husband will write a letter on my behalf saying how responsible I was with credit and that he will continue to pay child support for the next three years (almost 00 for my one son) and I have a court order saying hubby will be paying 00/mo in spousal support. That all should help my case and get the deposit lowered. My parents might even be willing to co-sign.
I am so impressed by the way you have handled yourself thru this difficult time. Kudos to you for keeping strong! Best of luck to you in the future. Good things will come to you.
Owie - I am so glad things are starting to straighten out. Personally, I would send a note from your doctor to the Judge to add to your file confirming your diagnosis and the necessary treatments. I don't think the Judge has MD too after all their initials. Hugs and continued good progress. Cathy
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