pain, accident, school, work, and other musings... | Arthritis Information

I really feel badly that I haven't been around lately to be supportive to those of you who are in need. I'm very sorry. I normally do have a big heart and a kind word for you.

As most of you know, in the last month I got out of an abusive marriage and into a tiny apartment in a not so great neighborhood, but all I could afford. Afford, ha. I don't know how I will make ends meet. I have applied everywhere and I don't seem to qualify for any financial help. It doesn't make any sense. I was turned down by SSI also.

The stress from going to court and separating all our belongings, packing, and moving, sent me into the flare of all flares. I just want to lie in bed and cry, but I keep going... I keep putting out applications because I need to work, then the car accident. It couldn't have come at a worse time. I was driving past the mall and a lady in a SUV was driving in the opposite direction and made a screeching left turn right in front of me. I don't even think she slowed down or used the turning lane. I slammed on my brakes, injuring my ankle, and I locked up my whole body in preparation for the impact which made things worse for me. I have severe whiplash and major back injuries. My pain meds aren't helping. I go to the chiro 3x a week and massage therapist 3x a week. I really thought I'd be better by now, not worse. Because I live on the third floor and cannot lift anything, I got approval from my insurance to have a drycleaners come pick up my laundry and do a wash and fold for me - it's .65/lb. that I pay and get re-imbursed later. I can also hire someone to help me with housework, shopping, or whatever needs doing, but I can't go over per visit. Again, I pay upfront. I don't have that kind of money. I just left my husband and I don't have a job.

It's hard to keep going when only bad things happen again and again. Surely after 4 years of dealing with RA and all the others, we would have figured out the right combo of meds that help. I had plans to work part-time (anywhere) and go back to school for a different major since I cannot use my law enforcement degree or Early childhood Education certification as a career. With so many Dr. appts. I cannot do anything. My counselor has been a great source of help.

Seeing all your beautiful pictures really lifted my spirits. I'm sorry I cannot reply to all of you as typing hurts, but know I adore each and every picture of you, your families, your furry friends, etc. Thank you for posting them. My most beloved little toy rat terrier named Hoover died about 2 mo. ago and when I moved, the apartment wouldn't allow big dogs, so I had to leave my two rescues with my husband. Fortunately he loves them as much as I.

I am very alone. I don't know anyone where I live and my family who lives 2 states away, would be shocked and horrified by how my health has deteriorated, my weight loss, and the enviroment I live in. It is so darn tempting to move back with my hubby. Nothing but bad things have happened since I decided to leave.

I won't be posting much for a bit. but I will try to read daily. Please know you are all in my thoughts and prayers nightly.

Much love,

deb

Shame on you and this forum!

AchingAudrey2008-11-30 11:43:52Deb,

Sorry to hear that life is continuing to be such a struggle. Hang tough! You can do it! Don't you even think of going back! Keep up the counseling.

You remain in my prayers, hope things turn around for you soon!

Keep us posted when you are up to it!

Good thoughts from here.Hang in there! We are here for you and we care about you. It must be really hard for you right now but I know you will make it through!!

This is a random thought but I realize you may not be able to care for a dog right now, but could you maybe rescue an older cat that could help lift your spirits (if you apt allows it). It would be easier to care for and you can often find declawed adult cats at rescues.

Sending big hugs your way Deb. I am so sorry things haven't taken a turn for the better. Yet.

It is my experience that new doors will open when you least expect it so you just hang in there and know we are all rooting for you.

Fingers xxx'd that the massage and Chiro treatments pay off very soon. Having that whiplash pain on top of your RA sure must be hard to take.

Lyn xxx

Oh, Deb, I'm so sorry that things haven't turned around for you yet! I know they will, though. You are a good person with such a kind heart...I know you have got to have a guardian angel who will step in soon.

Honey, I know it must feel hopeless right now, but please don't consider going back to an abusive husband. You deserve so much better than that. NO ONE deserves to be abused! Is there any way that you could go and be with your family for a while, until you are feeling better and can save up a little money toward a new start? I don't know what your relationship is with them, but I'm sure they wouldn't want you to be alone right now. You need to be with people who love you and can help you get strong again.

I know you can do it alone if you have to, but maybe just try to talk to your family and let them know about your injuries from the accident and your RA problems. Give them a chance to help you!

I don't know your financial situation, but I can't understand how you can not qualify for any assistance. I hope you are able to take advantage of the help insurance is willing to give you. Maybe if you let them know that you don't have the ability to pay for your helpers up front, they could possibly advance you some money to help you get along until you are well enough to work.

I wish I had some comforting words of wisdom for you. You are a dear person in very bad circumstances at the moment. But things will get better!

You remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Much love, Nini

HI Deb, you have done the hard part, you are so brave, don't go back to him, please don't do that. I think you should ask your family for help, I am sure they would be heartbroken if they knew how things really are for you. I will keep you in my prayers. Good luck from Janie.XX

PS Are there any welfare agencies around that can offer you some help? Do you belong to a local church?

I thought I had checked into everything, but Janie just reminded me of Catholic Community services. I just need help washing the bathtub and floors and carry the laundry up and down the stairs for me. I will check with them, I am sure they could help.

My family knows my situation, but I cannot leave to stay with them because I am in the middle of all these medical treatments, plus my RA flare. My son who lives with me goes to college in Seattle, so I have to drive him to the ferry every day and pick him up. I am sure my ex would let him stay at his house, but he's been shuffled around enough lately. My parents have helped me financially by giving me money to get into the apartment and also for food. My ex agreed in court to pay me spousal support and I got my first check this weekend and it bounced. surprise, surprise. Now I have to file contempt charges and it's only been 3 wks.

I have a fur baby named turbo. She was a kitten I rescued and fostered because she was only a couple of weeks old. i had to do the bottle feedings and she'd sleep with me and suck on my ears or neck during the night and leave hickeys when she got hungry. I got to adopt her and she truly thinks I am her momma. She cries her head off when I get ready to go somewhere.

Shame on you and this forum!

AchingAudrey2008-11-30 11:38:15I wish I could say something to help ease your mind. I'm sorry to hear of your struggles and can just offer up that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Another poster stated when one door closes, another door opens. I believe that to be true and please just hang in there and do whatever is necessary for you and your health. Best of luck and please know there are people out there that do care. Hiking_galMore good thoughts.I just can't leave right now. I've hired an attorney for this accident as the papers from insurance companies and medical bills got to be too much for me, so the attorney is handling everything for me. - one less thing to worry about. They are very very worried about my neck. I'm getting an MRI and catscan next week.

My son skipped two grades and is very young at his college. I am very proud of him! It took week's of interviews, submitting portfolio, letters from teachers and admin. This is what he has worked towards all his life. He has a 100% guaranteed placement rate when he graduates with Disney/Pixar studios. I'd let myself die before taking all that away. Also, my current hubby (ex) is not the father of my children, he lives far away and has no interest in them. My son wants nothing to do with current one as he has witnessed some of the abuse.

so for now, I will stay here and eek by as I have been. My parents are fairly wealthy, but are not in the best of health. My dad just had a hear attack and gets so darn worked up about stuff when I talk to him about my life. I'm still his princess and mom gets on me for talking to him because she said I was am going to give him another heart attack and I don't want to be responsible for that.