An idea Maybe to help ease the problem | Arthritis Information

Hi Good morning...I have been thinking...not something i tend to do that often so this is a privilage.

Ernest never moderates this board so why cant we....to a certain point....The last few weeks have been a cross between some serious posts of nastiness to the most laughable ones of double personalities. We need OT posts of a good nature to lighten life and to share our life stories and any recipes, info on other stuff and even a good debate is healthy. We need to be careful of newbies posting as AA has PM'd me and said she will just change her name over and over....We need lots of support in the RA and other health issues from each other and this is what this is about SUPPORT, SUPPORT SUPPORT!! If we get another member who gets out of hand we need to block them from our PM's straight away and then alert other members in a discreet way so we can vigilant, if the nasty posts start again and they make issues or post pictures of members without their permission then we all agree to support the person in trouble and ignore the trouble maker before it gets to the stage where is has now. We do have alot to be thankful for and a busy time right now with xmas coming and you all have thanksgiving, this on top of ill health and Owiemom has a huge hill to climb but with all us pushing her up it she will make it, Cordy has a huge loss to cope with but with out help it willl ease some of the pain when she wants to grieve, There are members fighting cancer on here and there families suffering with life threatning conditions so lets channel all our energy into supporting them. If Enerst doesnt want to help then we need to help.

I second this motion...great idea!

Well, I love the idea, Pinny. I don't see moderation as censorship. It shouldn't be. What it should be is leadership, which when it functions well will support rather than take away from this forums purposes.

Right now, though I am way too tired to think how you would do it (nearly bedtime here) but it's something for all to think about and throw ideas around on. Yep lets go for it! Janie.
I'm in.
we have always had the ability to do that...however the same people will still be unable to control themselves and will continue to raise to the bait. This has never been just a AA problem or a problem of anyone else people call a troll. Its a problem of audults who feel the need to have the last work, the need to people to be right, its a problem of people who continue to respond to trouble making posts. I knowI have been guilty of posting when I should have kept my mouth shut.

If each of us moderate ourselves and doesn't worry about what others post then we don't have a problem. Let each of us decide on our own who the troublemakers are don't start a PM underground...
Why don't we just ignore AA's posts?? Eventually she'll tire of making a fool out of herself and maybe even go away!

Maybe she'll even get a hobby or pick up a book instead of spending every waking moment talking nonsense on this RA forum.

Let's see if she can contain herself and NOT reply to this. A little reverse psychology...

Not neccessarily..we will always be drawn to the drama its human nature but we need to nip it in the bud before it gets to the levels is has now.....Why was AA PMing me then slating me on the thread...to gain momentum...when i didnt answer the PM's she left it alone...We can moderate ourselves and try to contain writing back, thats part of it but look at cathy..she had her photos posted on here by AA without her consent...its not what we are about and what we should be putting up with so I can see why lots of members are rattled....If we all agree to stop it before it esculates we are half way there of stopping the ugliness
That's a great idea, Lisa! You can count me in, too. I think most of us have definitely had enough.

Hugs, Nini
Yep, I'm there too. It is nice to have some peace and quiet this morning.I love it! Very proactive.I'll have you know I can be loopy and cranky all on my own. Don't need no meds to help with that! Pin, I agree with what you've said, but I just want to caution us from jumping to any conclusions about new members. I would hate for a new member to be scared off because we mistakenly thought they were someone else. I'd apply the "innocent until proven guilty" method.Well, ignoring trolls is a great idea, and we should all do it. But sometimes it seems like one man's troll is another man's treasured crank and ally. Look at how many people were all over accepting AA's "public apology". Or how many people support and take Lev's "side" even though his behaviour is totally inappropriate and abusive towards some people on this forum.

And then some people think other people are "trolls" for simply coming to an RA forum and discussing a method of treatment which works for them but for some unfathomable reason other people don't "believe" in and are against.

So while it sounds like a great idea I think their might be some trouble reaching a consensus on what constitutes a troublemaker or a troll.

Good point Gimpy. But I think we all need to stop trying to post the "last word" on an argument (I think this is what keeps the likes of these people going-they can't STAND to not have the last word). I like the fact that someone started a new "hereditary" thread after it started becoming mixed with irrelevant nonsense.

Please dont bury it before we have tried it...i gather we would all like the board back to normal with RA posts...AP posts the odd controversal posting that others will debate about...just not this hate....Lev is always going to poke his nose in, but then he goes off again to non moderate this board...DONN well not sure there...but i for one think lots of people did try to befriend AA She bit the hand that fed her so we now need to take a stand.

Yes we cant investigate all newbies just be vigilant when trouble brews

Its not about the last word either..it normally all starts up again when AA then attacks another member and everyone jumps in to defend them

edit spelling
pin cushion2008-11-10 10:05:36
It kills me to say this, but I have reached the point where I don't know who anyone is anymore.
There are people who come on this board with the intent of stirring up stuff, just to get everyone going for their entertainment. And we fall for it everytime. I know I certainly have. They say things that are so inflammatory you feel compelled to reply. But that is exactly what they are looking for, and we are being duped. Our egos get the best of us, because we think we have something so valuable to say, everyone is just waiting for our words of wisdom, or our rebuttal!   But we (including me, myself and I) are the problem. If we could just restrain ourselves, and not step into their trap we would solve the problem.

And honestly we have regular members who have used multiple names to get their point across in controversial topics, and not have to suffer the consequences of their words. Look how many of those we used to see the during the height of the "Roxy threads." That is also part of the problem. I would rather see someone put their real foot in their real mouth, than have to mistrust people. It needs to stop. Be genuine, be honest and be willing to accept that not everyone is going to agree with you. And if you are using another name to say something mean or nasty, you really need to realize how it diminishes your soul. You can remain annonymous to others here, but not to yourself. You know what you're doing, and if it's something you can't proudly do with honesty and without deceit, then you should know in your heart it is changing you as a person.

I'm still here, because there are people that I genuinely care about and want to connect with. And some of them have political beliefs or personalities that are completely different than mine, but I still care about them and want hear what they have to say. I just hope we can behave ourselves and "be the solution".

Karen The voice of wisdom....I am me I promise..i go by the name of pincushion...pin cushion ( signing in problems way back) I had hubby call him self MR pin cushion to help me out when im poorly....This is good though as we are all talking sensibly about what we expect or would like from the board..So somewhere along the line we can get in sorted outI'm really glad to see this thread started.

If we work together I think that the bullies will not bother to continue posting. They are cyber bullies and the best way to handle them is to ignore them.

I haven't posted to any of the threads because I don't want to be associated with their ignorance of the topic nor the hate filled responses. It's been very hard not to post, but I knew that being attacked by some of the posters would be stressful and not help me healthwise.

Cyber bullies don't care about what you post or how sensible you are, or even the facts. It's all about their opinions and they're presented in a hate format. There's absolutely no reasoning or way to change their minds, so ignoring them is the best defense and it has to be all of us. If they respond amongst themselves who cares. Lindy
[QUOTE=Hillhoney]
It kills me to say this, but I have reached the point where I don't know who anyone is anymore.
[/QUOTE]

No kidding, Hillhoney! For the longest time, I thought AA was actually another member on this site.
Hi all, I am a "newbie" and am new to all the strife you are talking about. Please do not exclude new folks by trying to shake out a rat. I do not feel anyone here would intentionally do this because you all know how awful having an autoimmune disease can be. I have not posted any of my personal information because I do not fully trust the privacy of the internet but that does not mean I am here to make trouble. I haven't been here long but this forum has already given me some support. I can already see that on a blue day, it would be nice to talk to someone. I feel very isolated most of the time due to my disability. I want to be able to reach out and know I have someone who can help me get through a bad day, week, month, episode or flare and truly understand what is going on. I have had this rotten disease for 10 years now and have only just come here at the urging of my son. This forum can offer what, in most ways, loved ones can't because they do not have this disease.

So for what it is worth, keep the line of communication open to all who need it.

Thanks,
Waddie
I love this thread ! Thanks pin cushion !
I have read the posts on this and agree to just ignore the people who

start the negative responces and name calling.

And like LinB said , they don't care , they are just cyber bullies.

Just like in life , when someone is being rude you can walk away

or if they start name calling , you can walk away.

They want to start a fight , you walk away.
Lines of communication are always open to those who need it and id hate to exclude anyone who seriously needed help or just a place to vent..i meant to say if any newbies start to cause trouble and make horrible comments then we make a rule to give them another chance if after that they still cant behave we just block them out of oiur PM's and pretend they dont exist...

Sorry Waddie it wasnt meant to you or other new people trying to find a place to get support
Well, I felt the need at one point to try to prove that I was not coming back as others as some implied. But then, nope, I was not going to get myself in a tither about it. I'm just glad some of that non sense is over (holds her breath) Thanks for that pin cushion. Ignoring bullies is what I taught my kids to do and is a good idea here too. I think people need to make up their minds on their own as to who they want to block, etc. The day someone steps up and starts a behind the scene "block this person", etc. can be seen as bullying also. Let's all be adults. Ignore the posts you don't want to read and block someone if you think they are bothering you, and leave everyone else out of it.

I also think that the intentions may be good regarding a topic like this, however, it just opens up another door for people to be nasty towards some people. Some things just need to end.
[QUOTE=Debrakay]I think people need to make up their minds on their own as to who they want to block, etc. The day someone steps up and starts a behind the scene "block this person", etc. can be seen as bullying also. Let's all be adults. Ignore the posts you don't want to read and block someone if you think they are bothering you, and leave everyone else out of it.

I also think that the intentions may be good regarding a topic like this, however, it just opens up another door for people to be nasty towards some people. Some things just need to end.
[/QUOTE]

I agree...
I agree Debrakay. I blocked AA. I have no one eles blocked. No reason to. We can police ourselves. I know I was vocal with AA. but her post were for the most part vile...made me want to run her off. Glad she is gone. I like this board. I like all the different flavor of humor from people. Dont expect everyone will agree all the time, but even in the closest family you find disagreements. So.......let's talk about.......CHOCOLATE.....
I can't wait to get outta work so I can get me some MILK CHOC......
Nothing else has worked to stop this as much as you say we can do it on our own without looking to each other for help but obviously we cant as this escalated out of control until we got to this point.
Welcome aboard Waddie ~~ its a great support forum. Take care ~~ Cathy
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