men treated better than women? | Arthritis Information

 

I just read a post on another thread where Justsaynomore talk about the difference in treatment between men and women.  I was just wondering if anyone here had experienced this personally.  I have been in the hospital (on several occasions for RA conditions) and was treated like s#%* by the nursing staff for what I, and others deemed "no good reason".  I kept telling myself the staff was stress due to overwork and so I made sure family members could help me so I would not "bother" the nurses.  Did all my own bathing, bathroom visits, post-surgery walks and so on, on my own or with help from my husband.  How awful is this?!?

The staff treatment was so rude and horrible on one visit that I left the hospital in tears.  I did complain to the RN advocate, but how HORRIBLE!!! 
To be honest I've never noticed a gender pattern of good/bad treatment when I've been in the hospital or my relatives (male and female) have been in the hospital.  I have noticed that older people seem to get the short end of the stick, no matter their gender.  Unpleasant people tend to get shabbier care too. I do know older patients get the short end of the stick, I think usually because they have no advocate.  I can understand unpleasant people get shabbier care as well.  I can assure you, this was not the case with me.  My sister is an RN and she was shocked by the treatment I got on two different occasions.  This was at one of the newer, nicer hospitals in the area.  I won't ever go back there for this reason.
I dread when my parents have to go to the hospital... "their" hospital is the worst one in the area, and in addition, both of them can be downright nasty on a good day.  I have to park myself at the hospital and totally smooch butts in order to make up for my crab@ss parents.  I dread having to leave them alone for the night. Well, I don't know about the men vs women thing at all but I know also that I have been in hospital for RA conditions and have been treated horrible by the nursing staff.

I actually told an RN off in front of two doctors one day for her insensitivity and rude behaviour. She actually later apologised to me for hurting me and confessed that she didn't look beyond 'the surface' to the person and disease that was there. This was due to her own stress levels.

My theory on RA conditions and hospitals is pretty simple.

The hospital system deals with a biomedical model only regarding patients i.e. Illness can be 'seen', patients are not involved in their health plan, you prescribe something, patient gets better. Period.

They literally don't know how to work any other way.

Whereas chronic illness like RA fits into the bio psychosocial model. In this model patients are very involved in their health plan and it is understand that treatment may not be instant nor will the disease necessarily resolve itself instantly.

The hospital found me very difficult as I expected to be involved and I actually knew more than them.

Although I could not lift my arms at that time, to brush my hair or do any personal hygiene, I was given a rotten time in general for needing help.

Your experience sounds very similar to mine.

If you are going have to be in that hospital environment for your RA, as patients we need to understand that we will be informing and educating also. One of my goals is to educate and inform medical staff about RA patients within the hospital system, as their is such a big gap of ignorance there as we just don't fit into their system of doing things at all.
Let me add - I did not mean to imply that if you are treated poorly in hospital it is because you are old and/or crabby. I was hospitalized for a couple of days due to RA.  Everyone was really good to me.

Over the last 4 years I've been hospitalized four times.....

That's what I am like, LinB, I am not unruly but I question everything and hospital medical staff have no idea what to do with patients who do that. They are used to 'decreeing' dx or prognosis 'over' us with unquestioned acceptance from the patient.

Because RA patients are so used to being involved in their treatment and a patient's opinion often weighs equally with bloodwork and other tests etc, we are not used to being uninvolved in our own care. That certainly is the case for me, my rheumy, GP and I work as a team to make decisions about my care. My opinion is extremely important to both of them and I get equal say about what we do.

When the Pain Team turned up at my hospital bed, they were so rude they didn't even introduce themselves to me so I said,

"And who are you?"
"Oh," they said, "We're the Pain Team."
"Right," I said, "And your names are?"

They then introduced themselves properly and told me their qualifications.

They then spent the next half hour trying to field my questions.

While the medical team on the ward would have a written report and questions from me first thing in the morning so by the time they did their rounds they knew what kind of night I had had and my questions would be answered because I think they didn't dare not to.

In general, I just found medical professionals very uninformed and uneducated about chronic illness.

In general I don't think most of the staff knows much about RA.  They think it like osteroarthritis and just don't understand.  They also do not like it when someone asks questions or questions what they are doing.   My all-time fave was when a relative of mine was in ICU for blood clots in both lungs... when the nurse came to put the patient ID band on, it was FOR THE WRONG PATIENT - OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER!  When this was pointed out to her, she though it was FUNNY...

Good thing it was just an ID band and not meds.  What if they had given the blood thinners and other crap that my relative was supposed to get... to another patient???

I wish Lori would respond, she was the one who mentioned that as an RN she has noticed a marked difference in at least the pain medication given for men vs. women.  But I am surprised to see all these posts about men getting bad care, which means bad care across the board (in addition to good care, maybe its 50/50).  This is the best we can get for a service we pay for?  I will never understand.  Am also trying to find that stat again I mentioned about diagnosis - I might not find it again, sorry :(

Well, here's a start, but its not the one I read before: I've had 6 RA/Orthopedic related in patient surgeries in 2 different states.  I've always been treated well and with respect.  There was only one time I had any real issues and that wasn't with me or with my care but I had a roommate whose O2 kept dropping so her machine would start beeping..I'd buzz the nurse they'd come and wake her up and get her reset and I'd try to doze til it happened again.  The nurses were very apologetic...they were trying to get her moved to a monitored bed but none were availableAs a nurse, I feel I should comment. I always treat every patient with the utmost respect. It does not matter how sick they are. I think over weight women get treated poorly and you hear staff talking bad about them. They are called lazy, sloth like and unmotivated. Some staff cannot seem to see past the weight. I have heard doctors tell these women that all their problems will be solved if they lose some weight. And, some of this is true, but it sure does not make the patient feel better at the time.

Another comment I would like to make about RA, is...you rarely see RA as the diagnosis of any patient admitted. The diagnoses you see are the symptoms that brings them in. The RA is a secondary diagnosis usually. So unless the staff gives a great report on history, it could be missed. We tend to deal with the pain, or the N/V, or GI problems, or dehydration, or the blood dyscrasias. Not really the RA.

I also want to say...I love the patients that question everything. I have a more difficult time with the ones that just open their mouth, swallow the pills and don't ask a question. I see this more in the elderly who just trust that their doctor knows best.    

I think most hospitals have a patient advocate and if you are being treated poorly by a nurse or another staff member, you should report it immediately to that person. The nurse should not get away with treating a patient poorly. Yeah, it is stressful on the floor, but a nurse has no right to take her personal problems out on a patient. [QUOTE=lorster]I also want to say...I love the patients that question everything. I have a more difficult time with the ones that just open their mouth, swallow the pills and don't ask a question. I see this more in the elderly who just trust that their doctor knows best. [/QUOTE]

Buckeye, Six surgerys?........Gosh. I am curious, Knees, feet or hands? I need surgery too, to remove all this fat and hanging skin.........boob lift.........butt lift...........whole face job.............a new hairdo............this place rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!Yep, IO, Lorster is an RN...it is interesting to have her perspective on medical issues as she sees things from the point of having RA and also from a medical professional's viewpoint.  Hi Cordy, am happy to see you posting again.  I forgot about the time I was left in the ER alone for 4 hours because they forgot about me.  The ER doctor who saw me had on a baseball cap and he left to go home.  There was a shift change and there I was dozing in Space # 6.  They were quite surprised to see me when they pulled back the curtain and tried to wheel in another patient!  Poor Stan thought they were just super busy.  They also told me that I was in congestive heart failure, told me to call my doctor on Mon. and sent me home.  I knew I wasn't in congestive heart failure (I'm a surgical nurse) so I went to another ER and I had a pulmonary clot.  I've also been treated with kindness and empathy. Lindy LinB2008-11-17 19:24:53I am glad to be posting again too Lindy. I just have not been on my computer as much in general as I have been spending more time with Neve and my RA was pretty stable for a while until my Mum died and then of course, it has gone crazy. Oh, well, it will again settle just takes time.  It would be great if all nurses were like Lorster.   I could go on and on about medical staffs but I won't. 
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