I have never posted here but I been a member for a couple of months. I was DX'ed in 1999 and it has been a long hard road. I am now 33 I have a husband and three children ages 10, 6, and 5. When I get up every morning I am in so much pain, so ill I can hardley stand myself. I put my babies on the bus tell them I love them and hate myself because I have just acted like I hated them. I love them soooo much and I thank god for them every day. I know if I did not have them I would have no reason to get out of the bed. I go on my normal routine of Ben Gay heat pad make up the bed, ETC. By the time I pick them up I can tolerate life for a little while and then the rage starts again. I say, I tell myself it is because I am in soo mush pain and I have to go on, I have to cook wash dishes gety homework done I am so ill. I don't know what to do. Anyone else have this pain and problems? Do you think counsiling will help? I need some help please.
Jackie
Jackie, I am sorry that you are feeling so bad these days. Have you told your Dr about the way you feel? What do you take for pain? Do you have a friend nearby that you can talk to? You said that the pain subsides for a bit then the "rage" returns. I am concerned that your pain is not being controlled. I assume that you are not working at this time? Please know that you have friends here that do care. Keep writing.
Lesle
Lesle, the pain never subsides, it gets tolerable about mid day. I am not working and I have friends but I feel no one wants to hear u complain. I have tried medications but, nothing seems to help. I now take Neurontin at night so I can try to sleep better. My family Doctor prescribed it a couple years ago and my mom is on it prescribed three times a day she only takes it once so, she gives me her left over because I have no insurance. I can't go to the doctor like I need to, I have an appointment with my Rheumatologist tomorrow. He seems to be more concerned with my hip pain. I have Dysplasia in my left hip and need a hip replacement on top of this Fibro. I know my pains not controlled financial problems because I can't work and stress due to all of this. Can the pain be controlled? Nothing has worked for me.Hopefully your rheumy today was able to give you some hope. Unfortunately not everyone responds the same way to the different meds and it ends up being trial and error. That's hard when there isn't any insurance. Some drug companies do have programs though to help people who can't afford their meds. You definitely need someone to talk to, whether its counseling, a friend or a support group. It doesn't help the pain but it does help deal with some of the emotions that go along with it.Jackie
read your post a couple of days ago...didnt feel i could respond without some thought. but have been thinking of you and your predicament.
i see you were diagnosed in 1999. it sounds from your email that you still have an awful lot on your plate. caring for three children, a husband and a household. sounds like something has to give. when i get really mad i always know that i'm doing to much and really wanting things to be different than how they are. OF COURSE we dont want these crappy illnesses to be running our life and we just keep on keeping on...doing all the same things we have always done and being in a lot of pain...but we cant keep all those balls in the air any more. so part of not being angry is accepting really where you are. then any decision you make about what you can and cant do is based on reality. there is no guilt. honestly, you want to be available emotionally for your kids and husband....if you are using your presious engergy to keep the house clean its not worth it. just the little hint you gave "make up the bed" forget it. save those arms for hugs!
i was very much a clean house person when i was diagnosed with ra. i had so much anxiety if my house was a mess. i couldnt let it go. eventually though i had to admit to myself i couldnt do all the same things...i had a very good neighbor that made my son dinner and i got a maid service. its been many years now, i dont have a maid service and my house is not clean, and i still feel a bit guilty for not cooking much but i can accept it most of the time
counseling might be very good idea too. some are good, some are bad - in my experience you know fairly quickly if they are helping you. i have been to 3 counselors for emotional troubles related to arthritis and the subsequent feeling that i was losing my life - one of them helped me very much. i wish there was medicine that would help you. xanax for me really helps....
its ok to be sick. its not your fault. your children love you. they wont look back on their childhood and wish the house had been cleaner or the dinners more elaborate...they will only remember the times they spent being loved and listened to by you, and you can do alot of that from a very comfy chair.
all my best wishes to you and your family.