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Well it was a big nothing in regard to me thinking it was "serious" like hey we think your son's behavior suggests drug use or the like.
The Vice Principal was out today so it was just the teacher and disciplinarian. Teacher brought a list. Puts feet on desk, makes noises with pen and coins, plays with his phone, won't work in a group of sophmores, sits at the wrong desk....other things but I won't bore you with it all. Bottom line -she brought  a list of every last thing he's ever done. Some things he probably does frequently and he does not respect her when she tells him to stop so he is wrong and disruptive.
Per the disciplinarian this is it. He tows the line or he gets 2 Saturday detentions the next time, suspension the next and maybe he should really drop the class if he can't act appropriately.
Son doesn't help things- says I don't know to everything when asked.
Typical teenager.
After the teacher and my son left I told the disciplinarian how I felt about being left in the dark all this time because the teacher wanted me to hear it from my son who she said told her he would not tell the truth to. I told him she did not reply to my email asking if this was more serious then being disruptive after I learned who would be at the meeting and that was last week. I had been very worried. Of course that fell on deaf ears.
I went and talked to his guidance counselor after and gave her the paperwork for the ADHD doctor to have the teachers fill out. She is very nice and says she will work with him and let him know he can come there if he feels like things are one sided and also to get help about deciding what he wants to do for his future.
I am so glad this all over.
I hope he can tow the line. I told him unfortunately he will now be under the magnifying glass and ANY little thing is going to be reported. I hope is realizes that. I said the same thing to the disiplinarian and he seems to think that is just fine and dandy. I think if the teacher wants to be a jerk about it she can really push the envelope now.

wanttobeRAfree2009-02-20 13:48:20WTB, I am glad the meeting wasn't anything too serious.  Sounds like a pretty frustrating meeting though.  Did his teacher say anything about his ADHD?well.. glad that's over..

I am glad it is over for you also.

Put it out of your mind and do not worry about it again. Your son knows he is going to be watched. He will suffer the consequences if he gets in trouble after all this, not YOU.

Stress like what they let you worry over is not healthy. So let it go. Your son knows.

Besides, I think all high school kids have ADD at some point in their high school careers...They wander through the school oblivious to most of their surroundings..Just let it go, and know you are not alone...

Tink

Sounds to me like loads of ... well... nothing really.  He shouldn't be punished for inattention if he is ADHD.  Pick you battles with these kids.  Certainly they have to respect and not be disruptive to the learning process of others, but the teacher has to cut him some slack.  Now that he has been diagnosed and she knows this is not just a rude, troublemaker, she should make some modifications to help him out.

For instance, move him to the front row, refocus attention with eye contact or pointing to his book without negative words and give him a break by gitting him up to move a bit (take up papers or pass out material).  These kids respond really well to positive reinforcement and a reward system rather than harsh words and threats. (Not that that is what you guys are doing but he may be catching more flack from this teacher than you think).

I believe you can get an IEP (Individualized Education Program) for him to help him out.  Just a plan to follow and a course of action so everybody is on the same page. 

Good luck, he will be fine!  After all, he has two people that want only the best for him!!!
Teacher and disciplinarian were not phased by talk of ADHD. Sounds like he will be punished regardless. Yes he has been "disruptive" in prior years usually called "too social".
I talked to him again when he came home from school. I think we are on the same page.
Thanks for the support it is much appreciated!
I see two issues here: one - your son needs to be reminded of the reasons he needs to behave in class, and it's not for the teacher's benefit.  It's for the other students in class with him who want/need to concentrate.  Just how you get that through his head is beyond me, though...

Two - always keep in mind that the school district employees work for YOU, not the other way around.  If you feel you and/or your son are being treated unfairly, take your complaint up the chain of command all the way to the school board if necessary!  The administration can sure change their tune quick after a parent brings a complaint before the board in a public meeting.  Seek out other families facing similar problems with the administration.  There is strength in numbers.  School boards fear organized and well-informed groups of displeased taxpayers/parents. [QUOTE=wanttobeRAfree]Teacher and disciplinarian were not phased by talk of ADHD. Sounds like he will be punished regardless. Yes he has been "disruptive" in prior years usually called "too social".
I talked to him again when he came home from school. I think we are on the same page.
Thanks for the support it is much appreciated!
[/QUOTE]

The teacher should have listened to your concern about the ADHD and that should be taken into consideration as far as his behavior goes. They shouldn't  just punish with taking into account the whole picture.

Teachers can be jerks. I've  dealt with a couple when my kids were in grade/high school. One actually made things worse for my sons because I raised concerns about the way she was doing things. 
Good you had a talk with your son. Hopefully all will work out.
JR- yeah that's the problem- getting it through to him. That's my #1 lecture when I am told he is disruptive. Whether you have interest in the class or not there are other students there who do and want to learn. It is very unfair to them that you disrupt the class. It is rude and it is disrespectful to the class and to your teacher. He probably knows it by heart.
I will wait and see how things are going forward. I also made a point of going to his guidance counselor after the meeting. She just took over for his regular one on maternity leave but we had a very nice long chat. She said she will call him in and let him know that she is there for him if he feels like things are "one sided" in the class room. She will speak to him about his concerns of not having something he is passionate in pursuing. She'll give all the teachers the paper work the doctor needs them to fill out. Hopefully things will smooth over.
M23- I agree there are good and bad as in all professions. I have had a lot of good experiences with teacher's in this district that have really gone the extra mile for my kids. And a few that are well...just plain whacky. I think this one falls into that category. If I have to I will tell someone in authority. Besides keeping me in the dark about the meeting content. She says the last time the class was to work in groups she did not put my son in any. She didn't want to deal with him not participating and then giving her static when she insisted. I don't think she should anticipate trouble. So the kid doesn't get credit for the project?  It's a power trip. She knows my kid has an aversion to being put with underclassmen. So if she does she'll get static. If she doesn't- he'll work but then he wins....
Good luck.  Hope for a good outcome for your son. The kid wants attention. If he doesn't get it by being good, he'll do something bad. It's working. Apparently he's still not clued in to the penalty of acting stupid. Find out what will get his attention. My dad used a Size 10 attitude adjustment device.  mab522009-02-22 19:29:42Hi Sno. I thought about the way I wasn't heard when I expressed my distress over being left in the dark and came to the conclusion that I really didn't tell the right people. I mean the teacher for what it's worth "feels" she was justified. The disciplinarian is one of students not the teachers. His job is to side with her. The guidance counselor seemed to understand but it's not within her power to do anything. If I have further trouble that seems unwarranted I will complain elsewhere. I'm not sure who that is at this time but I'm sure my daughter knows who she has to answer to so I will ask her.
I have been so tempted to say to my son- well I hope you are turning a new leaf tomorrow! However he knows he has to and if he's anything like me I just hate to have my nose rubbed in things. I'm going to trust him.

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