Be warned: it’ll probably be a long post; I’m so full up, I’m spilling over. This morning I went to SS to bring in the latest 15 page-packet . The gal at the window said "You wrote all this?". I thought to myself "no, my dog did it" and "no, I wished it onto the paper". What I did say aloud, was that in my last efforts, the brief way didn't work, so this time I tried to be more clear. Judging by my previous denial, I wonder if they even read it. For one thing, I had to repeat all info of every doctor, hospital, clinic, lab, Xray, physical therapy and medication in the past year.... a lot of pages... again. I tried to explain "how your conditions affect your daily activities" in layman language even though a doctor supposedly reads it. ....................My denial said: ---we see that you can move your arms satisfactorily ---you can walk ---we acknowledge you cannot reach up with left shoulder ---you should be able to carry 20lbs ---we do not feel your diarrhea is frequent or severe enough to interfere with work ---we feel you should be able to sit 5-6 hours ---we feel you should be able to walk & stand 5-6 hours ***No mention of severe fatigue, difficulties with fingers, hips, feet ! Argggh! I'd like to see that analyst to try to keep his employer happy if he had all my stuff going on! What if he……..… ---arrived late… because of difficulty dressing that day, or painful diarrhea took time to ease off ---then once there… he couldn't type or perform other finger-tasks long, sit long, stand long, walk long-or fast, and he couldn't carry more than papers with his left arm (bad shoulder) but his better shoulder was busy with the cane! ---maybe that's a day he gets hit with such a bad bout of diarrhea at work that he's stuck in the bathroom, in pain and nausea, for hours followed by abdominal/back aching + exhaustion ...knowing that happens 1-4 days/week -unexpected times, suddenly ---then, if that didn't happen that day, so he was still at work, what would his employer think about his absolute need for an afternoon 3 hour rest period, 2 of which are a deep sleep? …knowing he cannot avoid that level of fatigue, it just happens every day and sleep is the only cure. .. and that it feels like a high-fever with all-over body pains & such tiredness and real inability to think clearly. His employer would be alarmed at his decreased mental concentration & be concerned for errors. ---I bet he would not have his job. --then he would be like me, trying to convince someone he cannot hold down a job (though he’d probably know all the tricks to get disability approved). I told them before about the RA fingers/hips/shoulder/feet and utter fatigue as well as the unpredictable severe and frequent diarrhea from UC/IBS. I have tried job trainings but end up leaving midway to sleep in my car or stuck in bathroom+lobby(back&forth). I mean really.... what does it take to convince these people? Talk about living a day in someone's shoes... he should try mine... oh, wait...my orthotics might not fit him. It's in their ballpark now, so I'm back to waiting mode, I hope for not too many more months. My family is really angry about it too and I don't always want to talk about such negative things, or at least not for long. One daughter told me I’ve changed this year, which alarmed me. So now, I make an effort to always, with anybody, have the last half of a phone conversation and all evening show interest in the other person’s day/week and end on a happy, sweet or funny note (luckily, I laugh easily even to tv commercials). It requires The Great Denial of our dire circmstances, temporarily, to maintain sanity. My husband’s income has decreased to only ½ of 18months ago + mine, for 12 months, is gone, yet expenses are up (mostly medical even with insurance). We are selling our furniture, never go out, have not bought even socks in over a year, luckily I was able to make each daughter, sister, mom a small quilted landscape for Christmas for free, and we are losing our 3 bedroom home of 20 years. We need me to contribute income to afford even a tiny apartment. So, every evening when my husband comes home from work, in his 60s, exhausted, I need to be loving & cheerful. Of course that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have to make dinner! It’s the only thing he likes to do around here and knows he does it better than me and some days it is a bad time for me. I always let him know how I appreciate it. This routine started during my first hardest flare-up when my hands truly did not function. We’ve kept it up because things change day to day for me. I can postpone cleaning up, but at a reasonable hour, we need to eat! OK, I can let go of this for now. I still don't know proper protocol. I'm kinda concerned about posting this. Is it OK that I vented so much? I promise I won’t do it often. Thank you for listening, CathyMarie It is such a struggle. My advice for the disability filing is to tomorrow morning call an ATTORNEY, get one that specializes in filing disability, they will be able to take care of all this for you. The stress of worrying about your home and husband and family and disability income is just to much. It is sweet your husband cooks, it is obvious he loves you. Be good to yourself, call the attorney. Hugs to you, Tink Glad you have a lawyer. He can expedite it by a few months, depending what state you are in. If you are losing your home and such, these are reasons to have it expedited. Please don't give up hope, hang onto it. I know it is hard not to worry about things, especially when they are wrapped all around you, but worry will get you know where, do what you can and know you have done what you can. hang in there girl............I wish I could say something that just would make it all ok. Hugs to you Tink
I have absolutely 0 experience and/or knowledge in the subject but I wish you a lot of luck with your attorney. What gets me is I know people who really are able bodied who are somehow collecting disability. I don't know how it can be so hard for some and no problem for others! Maybe it has to do with the state you live in?
Prayers going up for your health, help with this claim and help with your finances. Hope you see some changes for the better soon.
I think you are doing everything right, and just need faith and patience for it to all fall into place. Keeping an upbeat, positive, attitude that everything will work out is so important. Just focus on all the good things, push the scary negative thoughts out, and embrace all that is good in your life. Cling to it, look for positive things that happen each day and comment on them to yourself and others. Thinking negatively and worrying is not good for you, your health, your family, or your life as a whole. And it doesn't accomplish a darn thing either! You have to believe with every fiber of your being that things are improving, life is turning the corner, and this is the start of something new, but positive.
I should have remained in Indiana first time around cause I was on disability, now they will not let me back on it...like i have been cured or something since I was able to move..excuse me...I was being pushed out my house what the H was I to do?
No jobs here, few jobs anywhere and no insurance for me and no matter how much I try to apply and get help, nothing.
Good luck on this, wished I knew ohow to fill one of those out to where you get the disability, I would surely help others in that cause this disease is so devestating.
oh yeah, lawyers do not help unless there is a huge pay at the end or upfront....nice huh?
Edited for spelling of course
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