just not quite up to par | Arthritis Information

Hey all...

Let me first start out by saying thank you for all you encouraging posts. It does help so much. I feel like I am stuck in some complaining rut right now-and I really truly hate it. I have always been able to keep pushing through...this time I am pretty much, flat out, wiped out. This jaw situation is taking a toll. Who would have thought that such a small pair of joints could cause such an issue? My son has been with my parents since the manipulation yesterday and I will pick him up Monday after school. I hate that he has spent so much time away from me since the double surgery in the middle of Feb. I know it can't be helped but I still suffer from a large dose of mother guilt. He has been awfully cute telling everyone that mommy can only eat soft and skinny food. I am also so incredibly head shy. I feel like I am flinching everytime he comes around. Combine this with the fact that my ex hasn't seen him since Jan. doesn't help matters. I have asked him for help repeatedly and he says he has to work. Very frustrating....

I also feel a flare finally coming on. I am surprised that it didn't happen earlier-I guess maybe the Rituxan is working. I see the RD on the 30th to see how the first two dosages of the med are working. The chest wall pain is starting to pose a problem. I hate it!!!

I was supposed to go out of town next week to see my college roomate and her family. I had to call her tonight to cancel. I just can't handle the drive. I have to literally put my head down at least once an hour-doesn't work too well when driving! My other good friend is offering to come and visit this weekend. Her little boy is 6 weeks older than mine. They are like best buds. Part of me thinks it's a great idea. She knows the situation and it would be pretty easy to entertain. Of course, the whole fact that I am living off Ensure and pasta will make meals wierd. I know she will get it. I am just worried that I will be feeling worse by next weekend. What an optomist huh? But, I am pretty down and it might be good to have one of my best friends around. She knows that I am dragging-that is why she wants to come.

Oh well, sometimes it is just too hard to be upbeat. I have been watching every movie under the sun. Rachel Getting Married-not a pick me upper. Makes my life look easy! Currently watching American Pie 2-high quality!!!

Oh, Rebecca honey, it's all going to get better. Allow yourself some down time watching movies and nurturing yourself, it's important. We all have times with this disease and it's challenges, when we feel similar to you. Just an increase in pain levels can up our depression levels.

Sounds like your friend who wants to come for the weekend is really wanting to support you. Just be you and let her know where you are at. You so need your friends to understand what happens and it's not easy to let people support you because as Mum's we learn to give, give, give.

But you're just not superwoman here, Rebecca...none of us are. Even single parents without a chronic illness aren't superwoman, the myth that as mom's we all have to able to just keep going is simply not true.

I think more movies, rest and friends time is just what you need. Don't try and push yourself to be who you think you have to, just be you where you are at right now.

If you have the rest time with son at your parents then rest. Children are so adaptable and flexible. He's probably having a great time. So no more beating yourself up about it woman. If you have time to rest available take it.

There are just times, especially with the challenges of RA where we all just need to let go whilst we vegetate on the couch. It's refueling and healing.
Hey Rebecca, I am sorry to hear you so down. You know, kids are wonderful little creatures. They are sensitive and intuitive and loving. Your son is not worried that you aren't there for him... he has no doubt that you are. He knows how much you love him and he knows that you will be there for him always. This is the one part of your life that should stress you the least because it is a given.

I say, call you friend. She will understand and your son will have another wonderful memory of a weekend with his mom and his best friend.
Hi Rebecca, Cordy and Waddy gave you really good advice and I can only say ditto to all of it. I wanted you to know that I've been thinking about you and I know how hard it's been to recuperate. Some surgeries are more difficult to get over and get your stamina back than others. It sounds like your friend want to be with you and help out. Don't deny her the oppourtunity to give you a helping hand. Welcome her.

If you run out of movies, there's always "Weekend at Bernies" to make you hysterical and LYAO. Lindy

[QUOTE=rocckyd]Also, remember that friends LOVE to help their friends. It's a win win win situation! The boys will have a blast together, you'll get the help/rest you need and your friend will be blessed just by being able to be there for you. I say, go for it :)Jaw issues are the pits, I can't even imagine having surgery. Hang in there, we are all here to listen!!Hope you are feeling at least just a little bit better. Hang in there- you are going to come out just fine. Hi Rebecca, hope things are improving for you, regards Janie.

Somethings gotta get better this week. I start PT again on Tuesday. I know that we will have to be fairly aggressive so the scar tissue doesn't return. I am just not big on pain-and that seems to be all I have been feeling lately. I just hate feeling so out of control of a situation.

Oh well, better get to bed. Gotta teach the future in the morning. I am sorry you are feeling so down, Rebecca. I have been feeling kinda similar the last month or so. I just feel like my body is run down.

I hope you get to feeling better soon.

Much hugs to you.