GEesh, I have been trying to get back to my normal but it is so difficult. I am not doing well career wise in Michigan, big surprise there, yeah right.....My PCP is great but my RD is in Indiana. Friends are in Indiana, ect.My normal is in the country, not this suburbia life.
I have to thank you all too..... great responses!!
I am not myself here and although my daughter is here ( they will most likely move in a few years) I just feel as though I have more opportunity where I came from.
Geesh here I am at 51 and have to start over again...it is discouraging that is for sure.
Any ideas?I'm not sure, Jode, that you do get back to your normal.
I think once RA adds itself to your life, you then create a new kind of normal.
That process takes a while for most of us and is usually intertwined with the grief and loss issues we have to deal with from RA.
Keep going. I think you are doing 'it', most of us are. It just takes time.
Sounds like you need to very much listen to your own instincts about where you should be geographically. Go where you feel drawn too.
I agree with Cordelia, "create a new kind of normal." It has been my experience that when I try to go back instead of forward I end you creating chaos for myself.
Joseph Campbell coined the phrase "Follow your bliss". His advice, presented in many of his books and lectures..."find where it is, and don't be afraid to follow it."
Starting over can be the first step in finding your bliss and being prepared to follow it, wherever it may lead.
Cheers. Shug
I'm sorry Jode..... I wish you were doing better.... I wish I knew something that could help.
I love love love that saying, Spelunker: Follow your bliss
There is a strong possibility that I will be relocating w/ my DH sometime in the next years... and I'm in my 50's too... leaving my kids and grandchild here in PA>. and going.... but I will make it a great adventure..
find your adventure, jode!!
Jode, normal is what feels right to you. I really believe you must follow your heart in that... to find what is normal for you. It is always hard to start over, no matter the circumstance. But maybe if you put all the positives of where you are together, normal will take on a new meaning for you.
Tell yourself each and every day you are worthy of having a good and happy life and today will be the day you find it. You can do it, Jode, I have faith in you!
""Tell yourself each and every day you are worthy of having a good and happy life and today will be the day you find it. You can do it, Jode, I have faith in you!""
THankyou all for your encouraging words, this has been a tough time for me. THis sounds rediculous but I almost feel like Dorothy in stating "there is no place like home" and all that goes with that.
If I am able to go and do this it would be the best thing for me but it has to be good for those others involved as well. It will take time and a lot of work.
Daughter and family won't be far behind me I am certain. THe schools here are awful for the most part and Jarek will be grown before we know it.
I know I do not belong here in Michigan, have never felt that I belonged here and I get so darned homesick. But with that I have to gain employment as well and we all know how difficult times are now. All the money I had was to help get here and at the time I was misled terribly. I am the gullible one but have learned much from my experience here so as to not ever make the same mistake.
Your thoughts are helpful......as always.
When in Indiana I knew 2 women that had breast cancer. One was a dear friend of Tim and his family and the other was TIm's mother. THey are exceptionally strong women to begin with but I have to share with you that they were at the same time and inspiration to me as well, they never gave up and their spouses remained by their side through it all. I respect that in a relationship so much.
I have another dear friend who has an assortment of serious diseases along with being blind. SHe somehow manages through her day with good spirits and thoughtful kind words for anyone seeking her advice.
SO here I sit trying to remember these people and saying to myself, if they can remain strong through such adversity then I need to figure out how to do it as well.I guess IW ill follow my heart and instincts on this then, afterall what is the alternative? Grief? Stress? Disappointment? Nervous breakdown?
Thanks
jode I agree with Cordelia I think after we get RA we have to make a new kind of normal. I know everyday I have to tell myself I am making a new normal for me. I don't always like it at all but it is a reality in my life now. I keep telling myself I will have a good and normal as possible life. I don't always belief it but I am having more days that I do now as compared at first dx of RA. Hang in there. We are all with you. Hugs.
I think you get the opportunity to make a new and improved "normal." That makes sense. I do kind of ok with the RA, even though the sed rate is a wonderful 2, I still have some pain days but it seems so much more painful and difficult with this severe weather changes going on here.
I get the fibro fog but most of the time I can handle it ok, sometimes not. I just want the "me" back and the "happiness " back and I only found that in one place.jode, follow your bliss, has been my sig line, in my email for at least 10 yrs, lol.
RA has this uncanny way of squeezing the fun out of your life,literally.
You will have to find ways to squeeze it back in.
This is not easy or fast.
Chronic pain gnaws away at our sense of humor, our ability to have fun and our happiness.
Chronic pain can turn us into serious, uptight and cranky human beings that can no longer see how to relax, laugh and enjoy.
I don't know about anyone else but I am stubbornly refusing to end up a grumpy, snappy, serious uptight person.
I am not sure if I am succeeding or not butt I am aware of it and I am working on it.
I have to remind myself to relax and enjoy things...
I think this is because our lives become about survival and we have to live in survival mode to overcome the challenges brought our way everyday by this disease.
Living your whole life in survival mode sucks. It's not meant to be how we live all the time.
I think the first few years after dx are the tough, serious, survival ones. And maybe around year four or five...you start demand some of the fun back in your world. And you need it...it's been way too long.
I am now deliberately doing things to bring the fun and happiness back.
Regardless of how I feel, I now drag my painful self out the door to anything that might remotely even turn out to be fun.
And it is working...I am managing to squeeze some fun back in.
One step at a time, Jode, you will get there...I certainly hope to.
My RD actually told me that I need to "adjust" my life.... No kidding.
They are adjust, adapt and flex.
"If I catch the start of worsening, I
adjust and for some symptoms, like my utter fatigue, that early
response keeps it from exploding."
What you describe in that sentence has a proper name. It's called Pacing.
And is one of the most powerful techniques we can learn to help stabilize us and gain more control of symptoms.
And here is the best site on it, that I have found: http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org/
Tons and tons of articles and tools to help anyone who has a chronic illness, whether it be Fibro, RA or CFS we are all affected similarly. The man who created it has walked the hard road with Fibro and CFS, so he knows what he is talking about.
Not fighting, resisting or struggling is the key. We need to let go. There is no other way.
Adjust. Adapt. Flex.
Manage to do those three and it's amazing what one can let go of...what no longer is important, where once it was vital and necessary.
RA can and does teach us many life lessons...if we choose to listen and learn.
Good post, CathyMarie. Yep, you do make sense.
Everyone just keep doing one step at a time. That's all...
Amazing what you can achieve when you just do the next bite size piece...and the next...and the next...
Very good ideas here -- ! I've had this scourge for 6 years now and my life has changed dramatically. My husband left me with the thought that he didn't want to be married to an old lady who wanted to be sick all the time. I was 38, and was just getting managed with the drugs. Of course there were other issues there, but it still added to the frustration of RA to hear it from someone that was supposed to be supportive. So, I went out on my own and started life again. FIlled my house with cheerful animals and developed a new fascination with parrots. They make me laugh constantly, talk like people and say nice things ("I love you, Mama!") Cleaning up after them and cooking for them keeps me active in a manageable way. There is never a dull moment unless I want one (!) -- and birds sleep from sundown to sun up, so they need their down time, too. I never liked birds as pets -- I just met the right bird and it changed my life. So, part of moving on with this PIA disease is developing new hobbies and interests that make your life better. Humor is essential and being in the moment rather than worrying or regretting helps too. Best of luck to everyone. thank you all so much, i will try not to give up...just that this is a crappy time of the year and these past several years have been the pits and rather frightening.`
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