You do what is right for you. If it is going to stress you and she makes those kinds of comments it is better for you to stay at home with a good book and a nice cup of tea or coffee, your choice [QUOTE=wonderwoman]my mom introduces me to her friends as her handicapped daughter that ought to tell you something about our relationship..... ha ha[/QUOTE]
WW,
I got really nasty remarks from both my mom and my best friend shortly after I developed RA. My mom's was "You're just going to have to suck it up and learn to deal with it. Everybody has problems."
It really hurt me. Up to that point in time, I had been with her through 4 surgeries. Took care of her for several weeks after each one. She eventually met someone who had severe RA with with deformed toes. From what I understand, the woman had sandals on and my mom questioned her about her toes. When my mom got home, she immediately called me and we had a long talk about RA. I guess sometimes it takes "seeing" for people to understand.
In my meeting with my boss last week, we were talking about how I'd been employed at IU for 28 years. Then, he opened his mouth and said that he knew what was wrong with my wrists - carpal tunnel from 28 years of typing. AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGG!
These posts make feel so bad for all of you and make miss my mom so much. When RA first hit me and I was stuck in a chair for 4 months, she used to come over during the day just to sit with me. She couldn't stand the thought of me being alone and in so much pain. She'd get here early in the am and stay till my husband or daughter came home. It was so good to just know she was always there for me. I lost her this past October. She was the best.I'm sorry linncn. My sister in law had that kind of relationship with her mom also. I see how much she misses her.
That's the kind of mom I want to be
linncn... I am sorry about your mom. I would greatly miss my mom if something happened to her. She is just about the only one who "gets it", but only because she has been there since the beginning. Thanks Joonie, Leila.
[QUOTE=wonderwoman]i wish my mom would take the time to read and understand about RA. i have had this disease for over 22 years and she still makes me feel guilty for not visiting and doing things with her. when daddy was a live she did not care period about me because she had someone to do things with. there is a funeral today and she is mad because i will not go with her. it has been storming here for a week. and my everything hurts.... what do i do?[/QUOTE]
Your mom can't make you feel guilty unless you give her that power.
Copyright ArthritisInsight.com