If you hang yourself... does it break your neck, or strangle you to death, or both? If I can stand on my bed, then I will be that much closer to the ceiling. Joonie......I am sending you a message.
Are you ok Joonie? You can pm me back if you'd like.
Joonie, I hope you are seeing a therapist about your depression. Sleep disorders such as you describe elsewhere, lying awake all night and sleeping all day stress your body, your emotions, your mind, and skew your personal well-being.
I dare guess that many of us have been depressed at some point in time, but suicidal depression is another beast entirely.
There are any number of organizations that provide sliding fee counseling and treatment. Don't hesitate to ask for help with your situation.
Best wishes, Shug
ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN! Go find one of those blow up dinosaur children's dealies. Do you know what I'm talking about? They have netting all around the outside so you don't fall out of it and break your neck. Yeah, I am fine!
The suicial thoughts were when I was in all that pain & having to depend on help and having all those other prolems I was having before my Remicade infusion last Tuesday. It just all wore me down mentally, this time around. I believe I might still be a little depressed. I still feel a little like I do not care and that no one around me loves or cares about me. So... when I go see my RD the 7th I will tell her I feel depressed and need something more to help with my pain better.
I do not sleep all day... only on weekends. I lay in the bed most of the day when I am doing bad. I hear you are suppose to rest and stay off your badly swollen and inflammed joints. But the couple of weeks before my Remicade infusion I was getting up and going outside with my son until hubby got home from work.
I do not get much sleep at night because my legs jerk and wake me up. Or I just wake because I am in pain. I lay awake at night because I have a hard time going to sleep because my body will not let me sleep in the position I want to sleep in, but only in the psoition I am stuck in.
Yesterday I had actually been awake without sleep or laying down for over 27 hours. I was sooo tired and sleepy I was yawning tears were rolling down my eyes, but I still could not go to sleep. I went and laid down around 8pm and my legs keep jerking and twitching. So... I had to get up and walk around. Then I tried again around 10pm. I actually fell asleep, but then my leg jerked and woke me up and then I could not go back to sleep. I finally fell asleep around 1am. Then I was back up at 5:30am and then I had to see daughter off to school and then I did not go back to sleep until around almost 8am. Then son woke up at 11am.
So.... I have a hard time sleeping. It is not me... it is my body. I love to sleep and wish I could get more hours in a row of sleeping, but I just cannot. It is either I get too much sleep or not enough sleep.
Joonie, perhaps you can seek some counseling regarding your poor sleep patterns. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can often help people with chronic insomnia. And it doesn't have any side effects or interactions.
oooh, I hope you can get some help with getting to sleep, and with depression. You should mention that compulsion to your doctor. It's weird how there are sometimes specific things like that that can help them figure out what is going on. I can kind of see doing that. It would be very soothing in a way, like you could just lie down and fall asleep in the middle of it...like a dog nesting...
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