Amazing Holiday! | Arthritis Information

 

My heart swelled hearing of your wonderful days....

 

so glad to have you back.... but so happy you had such a wonderful time!!

 

It's amazing how much news of someone's vacation --someone I've never met, that lives on the other side of the world, - can mean to me.  Being a mom, I've always connected with you and Neve, and this is just spectacular news.  What great news.  It made my heart zing.  You connected with others and the thought of you spending the day shopping with Neve brought tears.  I know how much that meant to you and how much Neve enjoyed it.  You're on a roll!!  LindyCordelia I am so happy for you because you are such a sweet person!!!!  I think that if the homeopathy and bioenergy does not work for me that Rituxan will be my next step! Cords is home after the first round and feeling good although very tired.
It's been a long day.
No doubt she will fill you all in shortly.

Well, thank you very much, you lot - Mel, Janie, Hillhoney, LinB and Dalmatinka...I was doing okay here, until I hit Hillhoney's kind and profound words and started balling my eyes out because the meaning of what you were all saying touched me very deeply.

I had to go off and find tissues, hankerchief and had to settle for clean dish towel in the end to wipe face. Hang on...got to wipe face again. Dish towel getting very wet here.

I have not been able to aticulate what that day with Neve meant to me and her. The depth of emotion is so joyous it is painful and right now, unable to yet be articulated by me. I am I will get to a place where I have processed it enough to then articulate what I feel but I can't do that yet.

But Hillhoney did...yeah, what she said. I agree.

Like others here, Hillhoney has watched me walk every dark step of the past 3 and a bit years. Until maybe 8 - 9 months ago my world was a long, dark tunnel with absolutely not light at the end of it or anywhere ruddy else.

Not a firefly.

Not a matchstick.

Zilch.

Nada.

Nothing.

Each step I took was in complete blackness and I could only cautiously put one foot in front of the other holding my precious child by the hand as I did so.

Anyone around me who has seen me walk that tunnel in darkness step after step knows exactly how AMAZING that week's holiday is and just how amazing taking my daughter shopping and to the movies is.

I love a quote by Winston Churchill, made to a university auditorium. The great man stood up and all were quiet expecting a magnificant oration to be delivered.

Instead Church said three words...NEVER GIVE UP...and he walked out of the auditorium.

The challenges of severe and agressive RA requires from us as patients, the simplicity and complexity of those three words.

And yes, Janie. I remember when my Rituxan kicked in on my first round at 9 weeks, I found myself getting Neve ready to go down to the pool to swim on a Saturday afternoon. Then I looked at her and on her 5 year old face was clear bewilderment, confusion and amazement with a touch of, "Is Mum going crazy here?" 

So I know exactly what you are talking about with your boys, Neve has been similar. It is just so wonderful for our little people when we get well and enjoy life with them more.

Yet really, kids don't care. Grammaskittles taught me that. For those of you been here a while will not have forgotten her. She taught me I could mother and have RA. She taught me that kids don't care as long as they have your love and attention. And she taught me how to focus on what I could do with Neve not what I couldn't.

I am now going to stop due to a very wet and soggy dish towel that needs changing since blubbering my way through this post...




Hey, dear Stephen, we must have posted at the same time.

Thanks for letting everyone know I'm okay but when I read the posts here I just had to reply now, they were so lovely.

I will post about my infusion later when I feel better. Just did the first infusion of Round 4 of Rituxan today, so I am very, very tired right now and am off to snuggle up and watch TV. Neve is happily away for 4 nights, with good friends of ours here in the small community where we live, so I can recoup. Then we do it all again two weeks today for part 2.

Hugs and thank you's to you all. I am off to snuggle, read and watch tv...then...lot's of sleep over the next few days.

Edited by Me because when I am this tired, I leave out words...
Cordelia2009-04-23 02:48:30Keep that chin up Cords and as for the tears, I know you are doing your bit for Australia, but the drought is almost over so you can stop that now love.  Janie Janie, love, you made me laugh. The tears were not sadness but joy that I can't yet articulate in words.

Oh, and keep those sons of yours guessing, darl with things you can now manage. There little faces are so funny when they realise that Mum is coping and feeling better. My goodness...Mum can do things! Boy, I have just seen this thread!