OT - family/caregiver resources? | Arthritis Information

 

Does anyone have any links to information for family and caregivers of terminal cancer patients?  In particular helping children to cope with the illness and impending death of a loved one?  This is the first family death that my children are old enough to understand.  We're all having a hard time with it, especially watching her suffer.

Thanks in advance. Jas, your local hospital may have something or local hospice.  Maybe even the peds. office or a peds psychologist may have some resources for you.  I'm so sorry that you and your husband and boys are going through this.  I'll be thinking of all of you.  LindyYea, I'll talk to the hospice folks some time next week.  Problem is - I just don't have very much "free" time during the day when their office is open, and I don't want to discuss my troubles (either on the phone or in person with the hospice nurse) at my parents' house where they can hear.  They don't need to be worrying about my issues right now!  I'm also really concerned about my dad.  He's not handling this well.  I'm afraid he's going to have some sort of adverse cardiac event - he's way stressed out and isn't paying attention to his health right now.  He's got some serious health issues but insists that he can ignore them for the time being.  I keep telling him that now's not the time for him to land his ass in the hospital. I agree the peds should have some info, Brace yourself it's going to be hard. At the end there are signs, symtems actually. Like picking at clothing. A life long freind of mine died of cancer a few years back. We had to give him morphine every four hours at the very end. He could no longer swallow, so it was liquid morphine that absorbed into his tongue. By that time everyone was so emotionally drained and so exhausted. I took the night shift. He had gotten so thin that many people that were helping before had left saying they just could not handle it. Also hospice is pretty much over loaded so they are not always there when you need them.  Rest while you can. I will pray for you to be strong. I will pray for your family. We are here for you. You can always cry on our shoulders.Jas, you can only do what you can do....period.  Everyone is going to suffer and in different ways.  I'd discuss your father's issues and how he's dealing with this with his physician.  He can at least alert you to symptoms you should look for, possibly give him a medication to help him through the worst of the situation.  Unfortunately, you can't protect everyone. 

Jas, I am so sorry!  I went through this with my step-father and my mother-in-law.  My sons were older so it was a bit easier to talk to them but that is the key, talk to them.  Listen to every little concern they have, answer all their questions no matter how small.

I lost my dad when I was 8, he was shot down in Vietnam and declared missing.  I love, love, love my mom but we never talked about my dad.  It was so painful for her.  It took me years and years to deal with my grief.

Listen with your mom ears and, with your arms around them, answer with your heart.  They will be alright.
I lost a dear friend at age 36 to cancer, and she had 4 young children from 7 to 17. The cancer centers should have information about support groups. I know in our area there was one for families, definitely geared for kids to talk their feelings/grief. Also, I believe all or most cancer centers have a social worker, so it might be best to talk directly to her/him for ideas. I am so sorry you and your family are going through this terribly difficult time, Jasmine.  It stinks, it just stinks.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.