How to cope... | Arthritis Information

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I am trying to figure out how to cope with this new diagnosis.  I know, initially, I was just numb from shock... but that has worn off.  I spent most of the day Fri. and yesterday doing research - how the procedure is done, what to expect, recovery, prognosis - thinking to educate myself would make me feel better.

Then I cleaned my house... really clean... OCD clean, and that helped some... feeling things were in order somewhat.  At least those things I could control immediately.  I answered some post here and caught up on some things, talked to mom to see how she is today.  Everything seemed fine until I was picking up the cat's toys and BAM!  Right between the eyes!  The old acme anvil smacked me square in the chest!

Tears flooded like Niagra, with no beginning and seemingly, no end.  I know it is shear PANIC and the overwhelming feeling of how I am not ready, how unprepared I am, I have things to yet be done and things yet to see and grandkids to meet... and I can't get a grip...

Poor DH!  He feels as helpless as me and we both feel so lost.  Is this the grief part?  It is another week and some odd days until the next test and I tell myself, "Calm down, wait and see, no sense in worry until you have to." 

How do you cope?

Waddie, this is all normal, even the OCD cleaning!!!!! 

Crying helps us emotionally in many ways and it's a normal response.  Don't despair to the point of panic. 
 
If you're not taking a tranquilizer then this might be the time.  Call your primary care doctor and explain to him/her the feelings of panic that you're having.  For the first time in my life I requested a tranquilizer to get me through the dental, breast and DH's health issue.  It was just too much.  I took them for a few weeks and it got me through the worst and I no longer need them.  Call your primary.    Hugs, Lindy
LinB2009-06-21 14:33:50Waddie...what you are going through is  perfectly normal. The not knowing and the wait drives you mad.  You have to know that you will be fine.  Take Lindy's advice and try to get something to even things out.  The cleaning thing is also very normal.  Poor dh, before his cancer surgery, cleaned out his garage and hasn't touched it since.  As his partner I felt as your dh is feeling.. helpless and so scared but between the two of you, you will find the strength to get through this and you know you have many hugs and prayers from everyone on this board.  How long are you going to have to wait for the surgery?  I hope it will not be too long.  Try to hang on Waddie.
 
Lots of soft
 
Pat
TeedOff2009-06-21 14:46:36 Thanks Lindy.  I go to see the pulmonologist tomorrow and I will put a call in to my PCP.  I feel so silly... I think about Shug and what she is going through, Rocckyd, Kathyinwlsv, Shelly and so many others dealing with so much more.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be such an attention getting baby.  It just hit so hard.  And so sudden.

Pat, thank-you for a perspective I know DH has... and for the hugs!
waddie2009-06-21 14:52:03Hang in there Waddie.  All those things you described are perfectly normal.  I think Lindy's idea of a tranquilizer is a good one. 
 
Take care,
 
Lynn
  I am a mess!

Waddie, you're not a mess, you're normal, caring and loving.  Hugs, Lindy

[QUOTE=waddie]How do you cope?[/QUOTE]
Right now I am not. I am merely putting one foot in front of the other and telling myself this too shalll pass. waddie.... you are so not a mess!!  you're having absolutely normal feelings... and frankly, I can't say I'd be any more together than you are! 
 
This is all going to be fine... lean here!!  we are good at holding you up!!
 
*hugs*
Waddie,
 
I just read your post after being away for many days.  I agree with what Lev and the others said...You will be better!  You are in my thoughts and prayers.  You can cry, scream, whatever you want to on this board!  We are here to be a support system.  Hang in there...hugs....HG
Just hoping you check in today Waddie and that you are feeling better...I'm thinking of you
 
Oh and the TEE... there is some numbing stuff they spray that smells like bananas, but when it gets in your mouth it tastes like horrific rubber gloves dipped in ambusol! I think that was the worst part. Just thought I would throw that tid bit out there for ya. [QUOTE=waddie]Thank-you, my wonderfully supportive friends(!) for the well wishes and the hummmmmming I need so much! 

I am hanging in... I called my PCP for something to help me through the rough spots and she wants me to come in tomorrow.  I guess choking through my tears to get out what was going on set off big alarm bells to the nurse, the poor dear!  I am such a wimp! 

I had an appt. with my pulmonologist yesterday and when he walked into the room saying how great I looked, I burst into tears.... then I felt like laughing at the looks on poor DH and Doc faces but just cried harder.  ([/QUOTE]
 
You owe no one an apology Waddie....you are the most supportive one on this board and it is now time to be the one to receive some of that support back.  You are not a wimp nor even close to one.  You concentrate on getting yourself better and I know you will choose the right doctor for the surgery.  Follow your heart.
 
Please take care.
 
Pat
[QUOTE=waddie]Thank-you, my wonderfully supportive friends(!) for the well wishes and the hummmmmming I need so much! 

I am hanging in... I called my PCP for something to help me through the rough spots and she wants me to come in tomorrow.  I guess choking through my tears to get out what was going on set off big alarm bells to the nurse, the poor dear!  I am such a wimp! 

I had an appt. with my pulmonologist yesterday and when he walked into the room saying how great I looked, I burst into tears.... then I felt like laughing at the looks on poor DH and Doc faces but just cried harder.  ([/QUOTE]
 
No apology is necessary Waddie.  You just take care of yourself and know that all are here for you!
 
I'm sending prayers your way, believing that you will make the right decisions concerning your surgery Waddie, I'm wading through the posts and came across this one. I'm not sure what's going on (yet), but wanted to offer you some big hugs!!! Waddie, you've been wonderfully supportive of us. Now it's your turn. Let us hold you up for awhile. Waddie,
 
Prior to my surgery I was the same way. Hard to believe but my surgery was canceled because I was so scared. They said I wasn't "mentally prepared".  I wish I could say something to comfort you but I'm sure I can't. Just know.
 
LEV
Just popping in to say Hi Waddie...........I hope that you are doing better today Not reassuring.  I come home and beat a path to Rxlist.com and also see you are not suppose to take it with a MAOI, I take trazadone for sleep, and I see the rest of what she did not tell me and I don't think I want this drug!  To be fair, she did also tell me patients who have open heart surgery are often depressed post surgery and it would be good to have it in my system prior to surgery.  I reminded her surgery was not yet scheduled but she said we would "...just get a jump start!"   I took Wellbutrin for awhile after initially being diagnosed with RA and fibro and I did fine on it with very few side effects and told her this - but this is new! improved!

I think I will just wait until I go in to see the CD for the TEE, or better yet, call his office and ask for something to get me through the rough patches. 

Geez, why can't it be simple!

Okay, no more tears from me today, I promise!
I would have a ways to drive (which I would do) and need a referral from said pcp for the psychaiatrist, though that is a great idea.  I may see if I can, somehow, circumvent pcp.  She said if I took Lexapro and still needed something, she may give me Xanax.  Ugh!  I am so very frustrated right now!  AND more than a little angry!  Maybe this is the anger coming on from the five stages lecture I listened to in her office.  I don't mean to belittle the grief process and I know I have been feeling that... but S*** FIRE AND SAVE THE MATCHES!  I just want a little Xanex!
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