Explaining the facts to others | Arthritis Information
You know the part about not needing any help in getting sick. The fact that if I stay sick i will never get my medicine. It seems everyone just tries to ignore this fact. Do people go out of there way to bring me illness?
I have a bit of OCD to begin with. People certainly notice that. So I always get the talk that I am extreem in my paraniod and strange ways. That is correct. If they do not listen to me I will lock the door and only open it for the delivery guy. I am often happiest when people leave me alone. I love children but they have school germs strepthroat for example. So I will risk getting sick and spend time with the grandkids and the nieces and nephews. Not during prime flu season if it can be helped. When I am feeling up to it I will risk it. If they are sick I would like to know first. If there Mom is in the hospital or something I would watch them and even wipe there nose. A little common scense is not to much to ask.
Went to the laundry matt and the lady came in to close the store. I had some garbage sacks because it was rainy. She started throwing them away. I hollered those are mine. She started to pull them out of the trash. My sister said no thats alright she does not want them back. My sister was laughing. Thinking of the tizzy I would get into if those particular bags touched any of my stuff.
I do the wierd stuff. Check that I have my keys three times before I leave the house, as if my mind did not believe it the first time. I leave the house lock the door get in the car. Excuse me I have to get back out of the car and go jiggle the door knob to make sure it is really locked and closed tightly. As I am going down the road I want to go back and make sure the stove is off or the iron is unplugged. I probably already checked it several times before I left. This is just going to the corner to get bread. Forget about about if I was going somewhere for hours or days.
So the new roof is leaking a bit. Only when it rains sideways. A very windy rain has more to do with it then the amount. It has only happened twice but it was bad. So my boyfriend decided it needed to be found while it was raining. He called someone to assist. The someone had shingles. Not the kind that you put on the roof the painful virus kind. Alright not contagious. Does leave me wondering what else is wrong with him to have lowered his immune system to have shingles in his thirties? Oh goody he says he is not feelling well he has a sinus flu. He sits in my chair and blows his nose with his hand and all of this snot comes out of his nose.
So my boyfriend says lets go outside. Was it the look on my face? Someone could have chased me down the street with a gun and I would have gotten no less of an adrenaline rush. Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Freaked Out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to throw the chair away. Where is the bleach?!!! Can I even touch this stuff with rubber gloves to throw it away?!!!!!!!!! Maybe a little irrational but that is just me. I calm down it just takes awhile.
My boyfriend comes back and starts disinfecting for me. What did he touch did I miss anything?
We had a talk. It is not about weather my behavior is rational or not. It is about the fact that I need common scense. This is not about making me face my fears. I can get sick at the grociery store or the doctors office. My sister already did this to me less than a week ago. Are they trying to kill me or what? I purposely live forty miles away from my sister. Sorry but that is the truth.
So maybe there was not always rationality to my behavior. However there sort of is. I have always had no ability to fight strepthroat. Spent the better part of my childhood and my childrens childhood with strepthroat. My grandfather had rhuematic fever, his father had rhuematic fever. My sinuses are dry I get sick easily. Alright it does not explain the door thing or the key thing it just is part of it IDK? So he says he understands.
Why did he not understand earlier today? I heard him say to someone on the phone what do you mean your sick? I said if you go around them stay away from me for a few days. If things do not change I am going to turn into Howard Huges. I will become a hermit. Maybe I can get a hazmat Suit?
milly2009-08-11 01:45:22 I just got it. The key thing and the door thing ect.. It is probably seperation anxiety. Not wanting to go out into the germy world full of inconciderate people that try to make you sick. It is subconscious excuses to be on the other side of the door.
Very enlightening I suppose but I am not to worried about it. I like to go outside. I prefer walking as it is a thing I do alone. LOL
milly2009-08-11 01:33:44Milly, you should probably talk to your doctor about your fears and anxiety. I think anyone on some of our meds is a little anxious about being around sick people, however, thinking that there are inconsiderate people that are trying to make you sick is another issue.
Good luck.
I'd have a problem with someone else's sticky. And that kid with the spoon...ew! When my brothers were teenagers they worked in the kitchen of a local restaurant. If you heard the stories of what went on back there, well, just stay in your happy place. Oh it is just me. I mean I was venting a bit. I do go into isolation from time to time. I do not think people are trying to get me sick. The ones I love just do not understand how easily I get sick. Out of seven children I was the only one with the lack of ability to fight off strepthroat. I have spent a great deal of my life in therapy. I think I am doing pretty well as far as my anxiety issues go. That is maybe I am worse than alot of people however doing well for me. I can get alot worse.
Logically and honestly the problem lies within me. I am a caring person. I have always been the one that my family calls when a situation arrises. Everything is always put in my lap. I have a problem saying no. Probably because I honestly care and want to help others.
I really do cherish my alone time. Being an older child of a big family can you blame me. Sometimes I do not need anyone elses stress. Not that anyone selfishly has problems it is part of life. I do not really recent other people as much as I recent my inability to be selfish. Sometimes people take advantage of my weakness. Sometimes running away and hiding is the only thing that works.
The heridatery illnesses in my family include mental illness. I did not get schitsophrenia however I have lived my entire life taking care of them to some degree. Not complaining just explaining. Like I said I spent alot of time in therapy over the years and alot has healled. The amount of stress that has been on my plate scince day one would leave anyone with some sort of issues. Sometimes my plate runneth over. Seclusion at times seems like a nice fantasy.
I have my fits and move on. My doctors are well aware. They tend to like me to say no to people. I am just not very good at it. Seclusion of course is not healthy I know this. When I need my alone time and I am not getting it I fall into self pitty and recentment. I need a little TLC sometimes. A bit of self spoiling and a day at the spa or something.
Still a bit of common scence would not be much to ask of my loved ones. If they can not except the fact that I really do have some health issues I am going to get angry. It is sort of simple either people really care about you or they do not. Asking people to be somewhat healthy when they stop by or saying I am at my stress limit and need recovery time is not to much to ask. Sometimes I have to look out for number one.
Milly, you said that sometimes people take advantage of your inability to be selfish. But do you think it's always selfish to say "no"? I disagree with that. I believe there are times when it's well within the rights of a caring person to do that very thing. You can't be everything to everyone. If you say no, then whoever it is will find another way. And if they can't then they will make a new plan. The world won't stop. People won't die. Don't wear yourself out Milly. A healthy, well rested person is more help to the people around them than a sick, tired, hurting person is. Snow....if you can imagine a slice of cheese being peeled off of a teenage boys sweaty back before it's slapped onto your ham sammich.......ewww. Let's not even go there.Milly,
Your posts on this thread were so very entertaining. They read like short stories. I'm not making lite of your traits, just saying thank-you for some very good reading. I really don't have any good advice or any thing worth posting except to say that so many of us have our very own demons. It was so courageous of you to introduce us some of yours. Again, very enjoyable. Thank you.
LEV
Seroiusly I had just cleaned my house down to the door knobs. Mostly because of my sisters baby is coming to visit tommorrow. I sort of am a little to sick to be an overboard OCD person. I just do not have it in me to clean all of the time anymore.
My boyfriend said that it was just gross that the guy blew his nose with his hand. Especially sitting in my chair. I have Kleenex. Truth be known I would have thrown away the Kleenex box after the guy left if he had used it. It just was Oh my he was touching things with his snotty hand. I was just ready for the next flight to Hawii or something.
I am not saying that RA is cure all for OCD it is not. It has made me socialise a bit more often than I would like to.
Imagine the turmole of a true shut in that can not walk to the bathroom alone. A clean freak that can not make it around the house to clean.
Talk about needing some therapy. Do you think the therapist will understand when I tell her or him that RA is messing with my grand sceeme of things and my strange coping skills or uncoping skills. Not sure which it is really.
Milly, I suffered from OCD many years ago and for many years!
I finally got myself right by using Bach Flower remedies, I swear by them!
Here is a link to the BachCentre site where you can read all about the flowers. If you can, please give them a try. Most Naturopaths and Homeopaths carry them and we can get them in Pharmacies here.
Lyn It is helpful that they have auto shut off on the irons, straightening irons, coffeepots ect.. It keeps me a bit calmer on days when I can not make it back to the house several times before I leave. A little calmer. LOL
Went with my sister to court last week. She was saying it will be alright. I said what about your hair iron. She replied automatic shut off. I still prefer to unplug things. It is a bit less worrisom.
oh milly you are not alone. I have issues with alarm clocks, I have to set them and reset over and over. I have to actually say "unplugged" when I unplugg my flat iron, seriously. If not I have to turn around and go back home to check, or ask my husband to check on his lunch. I do the same with irons and weirdly enough our garage door. I have a germ phobia too, less severe though. Really weird though, I have two different colors of fiesta ware dishes and I have to have them in alternating colors, even in the dishwasher. I'm strange though. Thanks to everyone for allowing me to vent. Thank you even more your kind words.
I actually do have mellow times when I am relaxed. Only the ones close to me would notice the things about the keys and ect.. I am not out of touch with reality just somewhat overwhelmed by it on occasion. I am planning on going back to therapy just I have a busy schedual at the moment. Therapy is hard work. It can take alot out of a person to try and change themself. Ra has me changing everything all of the time.
Laughter is great medicine for the soul I find it wonderful when people are laughing with me rather than at me. Even if they are laughing at me I am glad to be of some service in making one smile. OCD is an entertaining condition. They had a show on I believe it was Mystery ER. I had to catch that one. It amazes me in the many ways one can harm themselves when they let a condition get out of hand. So I can not get to upset when loved ones call me on things. I just do not want them twisting things around to the point that they cause me harm.
That is how do you tell your loved ones that they maybe the cause of the stress that is making me slip into bad or exientric behaviors. It is bound to take a sit down conversation and hurt feellings on bothsides. I love company I just need less of it than others do. Speaking of which I have company now. LOL
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