A self-fulfilling prophecy? | Arthritis Information

while along with your hospital stay, came long term debilitations and now your new limitations... who wouldn't be a little frightened of what this way may come?  After having my children, and being unable to drive for 6 weeks (Yes, back then it was 6 weeks) I was afraid to get behind the wheel again!! It's not so much fear of the unknown but being uncomfortable with what is ahead.

However.....  [QUOTE=Spelunker]Cheese and crostino will be served after the whine and the whine begins with the cry of “I am just not sure I can do this!” This is to get myself ready to venture beyond the confines on my tiny, well-defined and delineated world. I HAVE to make a journey down the hall, across the dining area and the kitchen, out the door to the car and I am bordering on being in a panic…the -have to- is prefaced on a “flexible” appointment time today to have my IT delivery system recharged.

Is my panic because I have not been out in the other world for nearly two months, or is it indicative of a personal break with reality, or is it a long-hidden flaw in my character? I am sitting her in tears, nearly frozen with fear and I am totally and completely unable to decipher let alone determine what is taking place within my mind and translating itself into this horrendous physical immobility.

I loathe feeling like this and will push through, but damn, it is exhausting.

Now, the well-aged cheese and garlic crostino will be served. Thanks for allowing me to voice my current self-centered tripe! [/QUOTE]

I would guess it's due to the involuntary temporary exile you've been through.  Deep breaths, calm mind.  Git-r-done!

Oh, and I prefer Velveeta and saltines.

JasmineRain2009-08-12 11:50:55Sorry you're feeling this way...I hope someone is going along with you.(((Shug)))  If you can overcome these feelings and get out of your comfort zone then the next venture out will be so much easier for you, and the time after that even easier.  The decision has been made to go and it doesn't matter the whys and ifs of why you feel this way....just do it and analyze it afterwards.  I promise you it will be easier after this.  I was down and out for about 3 months due to a pulmonary emboli and had some panic about venturing out among friends.  It passed and I didn't give it any further thoughts.....just when can I do this again?  I'm enjoying my whine and cheese....thanks Shug.  Lindy Thank you, thank you all. When I finally shook myself into being rational and thought with intent rather than panic, I realized that 98% of my panic/fear was the negative mind-chatter that I was allowing to take place...especially with regards to my ostomy and the surges of urinary urgency with copious mucoid discharge that accompanies them, even thought I am completely unable to void through my now-defunct urinary meatus.

So...I spoke with Bob and told him that my fears centered on soiling myself either through a urinary meatus "ghost" flash or by having my ostomy appliance lose its adhesion...I know all this is simply too much information.

The solution? Adult incontinent products---diapers. Bob, bless him! is on his way to the store to purchase a package and when he gets home I will simply get this outing on its way.

It is always a revelation what negative thoughts can do to my physical body.

Thanks again! Thinking positive and have velveeta and saltines on the list for next time!

Edited to add: Yes, Bob is going to take me to the appointment. It will most likely be some time before I am either ready or able to venture much beyond the verandah without being accompanied...or it is monitored Spelunker2009-08-13 08:26:29Sorry you were feeling that way, and glad to hear you figured out a solution. I hope the appt goes well for you. Let us know how it goes!All of your concerns are more than understandable Shug. You have been through more in the past few months than the majority of people will in their entire lives. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You're a strong woman; we all admire your strength. When my stepmom was going through her final battle with cancer, she had a large weeping tumor that had busted through her side.  We ended up using adult diapers over large Telfa dressings to cover the wound and catch the drainage.  We did the same thing a while back when my dad had persistent drainage from a surgical wound after kidney surgery.  Diapers are definitely useful to keep around the house!!!

Nothing like conquering a problem! You faced it head on and came through with a sensible solution! Hope everything worked out well for you!

Once I was in the car and we were on the way the panic ceased and I was enchanted by the wildflowers in bloom; less that enchanted to realize that a 130 unit housing development is going up in the cow pasture less than a mile from our driveway.

The appointment was easy; a slight stick and burn where the rather large gauge needle was inserted through the skin and into the fill-'er-up area of the IT pump.

I even managed to accompany Bob into the grocery store and up and down a few aisles for staples and a couple of goodies as well.

As was said, the reality of getting out there was good for me and the fear was unfounded on every level.

To adventures to living! Shug, thanks for sharing this adventure and the initial trauma of the experience.  I understand how you felt at the thought of leaving someplace you had been aching for while in the hospital for so very long.  Home is a safe and comfortable place for you to be and at this point, I am sure going to the doctor's office - any doctor and no matter the reason - would bring on fear.  Fear the result would be something painful or another lousy diagnosis or result in them wanting you to go back to hospital for yet another proceedure, and the list goes on...

Sometimes tears are the best way to work through an issue and, after all you have been through, you may have needed that purge.  I am happy you were able to work through your fears, figure out just what was bothering you and have such a successful outing.

To boldly go!

Hi Shug, I thought that some of the fears had to do with the colostomy and urinary drainage, but I didn't want to go into that much detail on the forum.  These are normal fears for anyone who has gone through the surgeries that you have.  I was afraid that there were other issues that was causing the panic.  You even went to the grocery store; that took some courage.  I can't imagine for a moment how you felt but I knew that your fears were real.  Your strength has made me realize that just about anything is possible to conquer with this disease and it's complications.  yes! What strength and courage it took to accomplish all those things!!  just the med visit would have wasted a lesser person!!