hi all.
when i get real sore & stiff, my inital reaction is to just sit or lay there. i know that i need to get up & move, but i hurt so much.
anyone have any suggestions to what they do to get out of the funk? how did you guys deal with this?
I understand you feeling like that...I did too but as time went on I realized I was missing out on a lot of good living, so I forced myself to get up and walk. it was a slow process but after a while I noticed my joints where not hurting as much and I was able to do things for a longer amount of time...I have good days and some bad days but on those bad days, I sit or lay down, let life go on it's merry way and when I feel better, I jump into the stream of life and move on. You can do the same thing. Just start on smaller scale and work your way up to where you feel you are in charge of yourself and not RA and then move on...You can do it...You just need some encouragement and that is why this support group is here. FOR YOU!.
You can do it msjoey
Toni Take this disease one day at a time...tomorrow will be better, find little things that make you happy while you are in pain. (music,art,video).....talk to people that make you happy keep as many positive people in your life as possible. I am at a very challenging time a couple of months ago I posted a please help me because my husband was cheating on me and I was in the middle of a very long flare up. I finally got the courage to kick his @## out, I am alone now with 2 young pre teens, and I still have pain and but since he left ... I have the best nights sleep and when I wake up in the morning it feels like Xmas.
mariag- congrats on getting rid of him! and you are never alone
I find a reason to keep going....(my kids,my handi capped sister, my old mom, pets,) hope and faith that things will get better and have dreams about the future..(my dream is to have my own insurance agency) I write alot in my journel.
hello mariag, It is so good to hear from you again. I was wondering what happened to you....I am so please to see you back here and even more pleased to see that your life is going in the right direction... How are your children doing? What are you doing now? I am just tickled pink to hear that you feel so much better. I know that it was really hard for you to have to leave your marriage and start over but when you said that every morning when you wake up, you feel like it is Christmas all over again, tells me you made the right decision, for yourself.. I am glad to see you back on the board, please come back and keep us informed as to how you and your family are doing.
Have a great week end with your precious children and take care of yourself. Toni
We all hear ya! one thing that is good... and I need to do this more myself... is MUSIC!!! play a really favorite CD or whatever... and it takes you away! Music makes me so happy... or sometimes it brings the tears out... which is good too... cry! They say in the Dr Oz book, You the Owners Manual, that crying actually releases chemicals that make us FEEL better... so it really does make us feel better when we cry... its a chemical and emotional thing! cool huh? I always felt its ok to cry... but some folks are raised not too... and males of course arent supposed to... bunch of crap! anyway! Music... and helping your favorite cause... even if its just a click for charity like at www.theanimalrescuesite.com or www.thebreastcancersite.com all on the same mother site... but its nice to do even that every day. Just click to give... or shop to give more. I find that trying to focus on the really unlucky ones helps. I know what we have sucks... and I get so mad at times I cant take it... and sad. But reality is... there are far worse out there. Most of the world is hungry... can you imagine having RA in a really poor country and not getting any help? Its nuts... I know I have trouble here in the US! Its nuts! Anyway... help where you can and it will fill you up! My doctor is big on "KEEP MOVING". When I would have a flair - I would clam up. I would baby my hands and not move them. I was doing myself more harm than good. I would leave my hands balled up in fists, and not try to move them. And "keep moving" = means keep busy - keep going. Keep yourself involved in something - keep your mind busy - keep your body moving so you dont LOSE mobility... and keep your mind busy so you dont dwell on it. (RIGHT!) easier said than done, i know! I'm STILL (after 8 years) trying to keep moving... but dammit - it HURTS to move, doesn't it? I dont know about you - but if it hurts, I dont WANT to do it. I'm not all that IN to pain. but - he's right - ya gotta keep moving. woobs
New to this world. I'm not afflicted, but I know someone I care about has it. She maintains a stiff upper lip, but there are times when it looks like she can't sit still. Is she just trying to keep moving or is there something she may not be telling me. I don't understand what she's going through, but need to. How do I help or understand or whatever. She's upfront about her arthritis (rheumatiod), now I'm concerned she may have additional concerns she may not be telling me. She's fortunate she works in the Health Care industry and has access to most new meds. (I'm assuming) I don't want her to "have to" tell me everything. I just need a basis of understanding. Rob It is wonderful that you have such a desire to learn more about your friends ds., I hope that you are wrong about her having other problems. I hope she does not have a job such as nursing that requires her to be on her feet all day. It sounds like she is still dealing with physical pain. Usually restlessness is a sign of discomfort. You can't and shouldnt press her to reveal more than what she is ready to. The best thing to do is to be honost about your concern, then follow by letting her know that you are there for her if she needs to talk, vent, or if she needs help with anything at all. Sometimes, strong people shy away if they see that friends are "overly" concerned. It embarresses them to draw too much attention to themselves. Say your peace honostly and sincerely and then just back off a bit. Instead of fussing over her and her health problem, just invite her for coffee and be casual, "so how are you doing lately?" I think for people who work in healthcare, we tend to compare ourselves with patients and then decide that we are "not that bad". ..which may be true, but it does'nt make our pain any less. I hope this gives you a little insight. Good luck to you and your friend. You could send her to this sight-It is very helpful and a wonderful resource. In the HC industry, all of our info on meds comes from Drug Reps trying to sell us on new drugs, here on message boards like these, you get the REAL DEAL about meds and tmts from real people!
Wow Crunchy, Thanks! I'm just the one to be "overly concerned" and it probably would discourage her from telling me more. Thanks for that. She's definitely one that doesn't want attention drawn to her so I have to be cautious. This little bit of insight is tremendously helpful. She's in her 40's and the signs are there, she's open about it to a degree, but I can since her embarrassment. So what does one really need, understanding or distraction? Thanks Crunchy rob She is a nurse but has a desk job, so I'm sure she's not on her feet 8-12 hrs like you are. Please give me an idea what she's going through, so I can understand. I hold her hand and fight the urge to squeeze. I know holding hands is something she doesn't want to give up, so how do I approach that without saying a word? I'm at work call me at (800)234-9536 if you have time. This is a down day and I'm mopping things up, but I need to get some understanding and tools for distracting her. I'd like to talk to her more intelligently about it without alarming her, and not make this a focus but more of a weather discussion.... am i on the right track??? Rob Rob---send me an email at dixiemudchic@yahoo.com I keep odd hours and am easier to reach via laptop-
But, I haven't done anything. Plus, I'm still foggy on the understanding. What can I understand and how do I display it without making a big deal out of it? You have done something...your'e here arent you? Alot of people just think we are hypochondriacs or lazy...and then you get the occaisional "Oh yeah, I had that before"...I mean, I don't even know how to respond to that. It is easier not to tell any one than to have to figure out a response to "I have arthritis in my knee sometimes!" I'm sorry, but I prefer to be asked about it with a genuine desire to learn about why RA is different than an old sports injury than to be grouped together with everyone in the world who has ever had an ache or pain. I am sure that is the case for many RA sufferers. I know you see it that you are just doing what any intellegent, caring friend would do....But all heros think of themselves that way. Just keep on being yourself, your doin great!
I'd no idea. I'm sure I've made a similar comment, but now I know. You guys get it from both ends, the pain and the misunderstanding. Wow. I thought ignorance was bliss. Now I KNOW it is. I held a seminar and got a very nasty evaluation because my handshake hurt her. I'm glad she said something, because I work with a lot of seniors and how many refused to see me because of fear I'd crush their hands. I now understand a firm handshake can kill a relationship. What an extremely valuable lesson! You guys are wonderful! Maybe I shouldn't say "guys" so help me out there too, if you will. Rob Rsaun let her tell you what is going on, sometimes it helps just to have someone listen to what is happening to us and what is going to happen it helps the thought process to think it out and to accept it. Go to the library and get some books on rhuematoid athritis and read up on it. It is wonderful that you want to be there for this person, it will mean alot to her in the long run. meme
Rob, Just be there for her. Iknow my husband feels bad because I never have a day when I feel good. If I'm not tired I'm achy and tired. You just have to realize she will have bad days and then she will have bad days. It sounds like you are a VERY caring friend
Pat, do you work? I am getting really scared about going back to work. I do something just for two hours and I am exhausted and achey. What I'm gathering from all of your comments--and I thank you--is I probably won't understand. I do like the comment about not letting RA define you. I think that's where my focus will start and go from there. My sister is a PT who treats many senior patients. I spoke of how one seminar attendee told me off because I hurt her hands. She, my sister, said I should lay my hand flat and let the person place therer hand in mine and I should just cover it with the other hand. I thought it was a good idea. AAnd maybe in future seminar advertising I should state "Gentle Handshakes!" What do you think? Rob Rob, Here is a really good link (compliments of Pammy) that has a really good description of what it is like to have RA. It is referring to Lupus but it works for RA too. Check it out and thanks Pammy. www.butyoudontlooksick.com/spoons.htm Rox, Excellent piece. The spoons do bring it a little closer, without actually feeling the pain. Makes you stop and think... alot! Rob
One day at a time, right? Do what you gotta do and dont give up.
When I first was diagnosed, I'd go into a depression which I think is totally normal. Now when I have a bad flare, I go to sleep cause I know when I wake up, I'll feel so much better. I do not dwell about how I feel because I have pretty much accepted that RA is a part of my life.
Unfortunately, I still have RA on my mind all of the time.
I find that sharing on these message boards are very helpful because we all know exactly how the other is feeling. People who don't have RA or other ailments, don't know how we feel.
I hope you are feeling better. I know it's hard to think positively when you are in so much pain. But don't forget, "tomorrow will be a NEW DAY".
I wish us all good luck and better health!
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