Good morning to all!
I am alive and coping in my new life at home! I am so moved by all the love and support I received from you all... I can tell you, with out a doubt, those prayers, hopes and hums came through loud and clear and I KNOW I heard them... they helped so much. I couldn't use a laptop, but my son told me all about my e-mails and the messages from here... My family and I were so moved by the caring and kindness.
I had many angels, earth bound and otherwise, looking after me. I felt their soft breath against my cheeks and heard the whispered air push through their wings. I knew they were their to help... the two male nurses who looked after me the first 12 hours in ICU were named Gabriel and Dean - Dean was my father's name. I never saw them - not that night nor again during my stay, only heard their voices of encouragement, asking me to breath, relax, telling me they were there, patting my arm and giving me every soothing thing they could to help me sleep.
They saved my life, watching over me as they did. They worked quietly and with purpose all night, giving me 7 units of blood, keeping me calm and without pain.
The next morning, I had a new nurse, gruff but experienced and she worked with the doctor until, at last I quit seeping my blood away. She began to back off the pain meds, poking on me to breath. All I could see was a large clock on the wall with a very slow moving second hand and hearing her tell me the more air I moved the quicker I could get rid of the painful ventilator... another "few hours"... tick...tick... I would close my eyes and do my visualizations, breathe Waddie, deep breathe.
I remember next the vent coming out - quick and painful - but out! The rest of the day was spent drifting... DH's worried face... my sons, tears, my niece... pain shots... sleep... more drifting...
The only jerk I had during the entire time during my stay was my next solid memory... him grabbing my drain tubes at about 3am Friday morning, squeezing, moving, them suctioning things that shouldn't aught to be suctioned... him not saying a word, no pretense to an introduction. He seemed to take delight in doing this every hour (there was that big, slow moving clock watching me) slipping in the door, not bothering to wake me and say " I'm just going to..." like everyone else did. Just jarring me from my medicated sleep, yanking things about, poking me with needles, pulling on my cath. At 5am Fri., he snuck in and woke me with another round of suctioning, then said "Sit up."
"Huh???"
"Sit UP"
"You have to be joking... You know, there are gentle ways to wake someone rather that grabbing at tubes..."
"You need to just sit straight up and swing your legs over the bed so you can get in that chair."
"
I'm glad you are doing better..welcome back
It's wonderful to hear from you Waddie!! I'm so glad you have this behind you now. Keeping you in my prayers and thoughts that you continue to recover!