Laughs for the day, .. from Craigs List | Arthritis Information

 

 

i need help moving my chickens

Date: 2009-07-26, 11:04PM CDT



I have approximately 1,243 chickens that need to be transported, i began my journey with my mini van but just was not working out, too many trips and too much sh*t and feathers, and with no ac it makes it very difficult when constantly tempted to roll the windows down, and because doing it all by hand i have lost 1 out of 4 chickens with my first 3 trips. if you have reasonable transportation for this chicken operation plz let me know. thank you.

-Matt


    • Location: Pearland
    • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
    • Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 1290743016
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ok i was having  a depressive day, so for some reason, this made me crack up, to the pt, i was wheezing.
... and i love the no pay, ..LOL.. and yes, theres more..

 

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  You hit me with your Prius


Date: 2009-07-25, 3:23PM PDT



 

Me - Bicyclist, heading to jury duty on 10th Street, Friday at 8:50am.
You - Prius driver, crossing over two lanes, hitting me with your car and speeding away.

I was hoping we could catch up for a cup of coffee, so I could get your views on the environment, and strangle you.
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To the Hot Guy at Priest Lake on the 4th of July - w4m

Date: 2009-07-24, 1:17AM CDT



I have some interesting news. You are going to be a father, twice. I don't remember your name but I do remember your license plate number. I really hope you see this. You promised me that you would pull out, and clearly you didn't. You had brown hair and brown eyes, and had a very specific tattoo. My parents have kicked me out of the house, and I'm not making enough working at Waffle House. I was hoping that you could help me out. My car's not big enough for the three of us. If you are enough of a man to be responsible for your actions, contact me.




    • Location: Nashville ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Body Dumping Location Available
Date: 2009-07-21, 8:56PM EDT
Don�t stuff grandma in the freezer! By now you�ve probably heard about the Glen Burnie family that stored their 83-year-old grandmother�s dead body in a freezer: http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/anne-arundel/bal-md.ar.freezer15jul15,0,168200.story. It turns out that no law was broken. Yep, dumping a body is legal around here. Health care workers and other professionals are required to report deaths, but ordinary citizens are not. And, apparently, no state law prohibits the burial or storage of a body on private property. I�m a laid-off Baltimore-area homeowner. After ten months of unemployment, and the future looking even more grim, I�m willing to consider allowing my backyard to be used for body dumping. Call it private burial if you prefer. I could probably take a half-dozen bodies without arousing the attention of neighbors. It wouldn�t hurt to have one under the garden too. Me: A discreet Baltimore County homeowner with a half-acre of easily tillable property on a quiet dead-end street. You: An individual (not a health care worker or other professional required to report a death!) with the awkward inconvenience of disposing of a deceased relative, friend, colleague or acquaintance. You must provide your own trash bags, tarp, quicklime, shovel, etc. I might be available to hold a flashlight, but I won�t do any heavy lifting. Accidental deaths or natural causes only. I�m not going to get involved in any shenanigans with Omar wannabes. I will not be a participant in, or an accessory to, any sort of crime. This is a limited time offer! Act now before the state legislature changes the law! If and when the law changes (measures failed 10 years ago, after the 1999 incident), you�ll be grandfathered, literally and figuratively. Price is negotiable. Serious inquiries only. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
 

 i was beginning to despair,  lol