FROM TEENEE/THANK YOU/PLEASE LISTEN | Arthritis Information

 

I've been battling Lyme disease for almost 10 years.  The neuro. pain is awful.  Now, the extra bonus, PsA.

 

I just have to say it.

 

My son was born with LD.  My marriage, which I cherished, ended 5 years ago.  Back and forth to drs. -- many of them.  No answers until 6 months ago.  They told me there was nothing wrong w/me until two my my fingers did a u-turn and twisted backwards -- now I have something I'm told. 

 

My pain is excruciating.  Sometimes I can't even have a sheet on top of my body.  My children wonder what's going on w/mommy?  My clothes are tight because I can't walk anymore -- my size 8, went to a 16.  I smile when I see people walking their dogs down my street -- but I am so envious.  Why can't I do that?  It seems so simple.  My life now is just a memory of how I used to be before getting these dreaded diseases?  Swallowing medication, keep up w/two active, awesome kids.  Trying to pull it off financially because I am unable to work.  Trying to keep the frig. full so my kids will have good food and healthy bodies.  I was in the grocery store last week (the really dreaded trip), and I had to call someone to get me.  I couldn't walk anymore.  I just sucked it up and cried when I got home.  The cortisone injections are wearing off.  Here we go again.  Back to the pain clinic for me.  I finally convinced a dr. to prescribe pain medication.  Oxycontin.  What a mistake.  I vomited for hours.  All done w/pain meds. I was treated like a drug addict peeing in a cup.  Heck, I don't consume alcohol, smoke or even have sex.  How much purer can one be? Who'd want to have sex -- everything hurts too much!  Somewhere during all of this I don't feel like a woman anymore.  I'm a living being filled w/diseases.  I smile, I laugh, but rarely.  I practice breathing to cope w/my pain.  I want to go shopping w/a friend.  I can't.  I have nothing to say to anyone.  What is there to say?  There is nothing new.  I'm housebound. I feel even more odd to the rest of people. It's coping w/chronic illnesses.  Survival.  Just that. Simply survival.  My bones feel like they're breaking.  I'd rather be in labor the rest of my life than endure this kind of pain.  My family doesn't get it.  I don't talk to them about it. And I really don't think they care or have the wits about them to even get a clue to what it is like living in this body of mine.  Sleeping issues: that's if I do get to sleep even w/medication.  My body doesn't stay asleep.  60 lb. weight gain.  Whoa!  I'm told to exercise -- are they kidding me?  I can just about stand up and get to the bathroom down the hall in my beautiful house.  I see the leaves changing in New England and relish in their beauty.  That gives me hope.  Theses diseases are like the seasons: they change, new birth, beauty and reflection.  What I struggle w/the most are my beautiful children that are so tenderhearted.  One birth child, one born in Korea.  I have the best of both worlds, but am still complaining about me.  They give me strength.  God gives me hope and strength.  I pray for patience a perserverance.  You people give me a place to go where it is safe.  Thanks so much to all of you . . . I wouldn't be able to do this w/o all of you.  Hugs to all!

I just wanted to mention that I had an awful time with pain medication always making me vomit.  My doctor then suggested we try the fentanyl patch.  I've never been sick with that. 

I hope things turn around for you soon.

Kelly

 

 

mish Oxy is to strong for me. I could not wake up the next day. I will just stick with my vicoden. There are other pain medications and it may take awhile to find one that works for you. Did they give you a muscle relaxer? I have a few toes that curl back from muscle spasm. The muscle relaxer really helps alot. It WILL get better Teenee- keep the hope. Seasons do change just like you said. Best of luck that they change soon for you! [QUOTE=Teenee]Teenee my heart goes out to you and I too understand, sometimes thats not much but some days that alone works miracles for me! many hugs to you! Hi Teenee,  you are going through so much!!! you must get the pain meds sorted, you have to keep going for your beautiful children.  Do you have family who could help