I am not sure how to pose this question so bear with me on this. I have a problem with my neighbors. Initially we were good friends, although the wife is a rather "control freak". Her husband ( I thought) a good solid honest man who helped me with some heavy yard work and in turn I would help him.
Recently ( within the last month), My mother HIRED him to take a uhaul and he and I went to Indianapolis to pick up my daughters' furniture. My mother payed him well for this. Realizing his wifes' jealousy about the situation I asked her if it would be ok and she stated she trusted hubby but not me.Thankyou neighboor, I do not date or sleep with married men let alone my neighbor.
Long story short it the trip went ok. We laughed and had a good time on the trip to keep me from tears for what had happened to my daughter.
In the meantime we had worked out a deal that we would "CARPOOL" getting the kids back and forth to school. THeir son and my daughter attend an alternative school in a nearby town. It was reduced to ME DOING ALL THE DRIVING, missing appts. because I had to get their son when my daughter had a ride ect.
I called her about a week ago and told her I just could not do this anymore. It was obvious I was being taken advantage of and my mother was missing neccessary appts. due to me being the sole responsible party in getting their son back and forth from school.She understood it I thought and didn;t have much to say.
Keep in mind I am a single parent, keep in mind we have one car, not even to mention appts. and lives and activities of our own.
She called AGAIN after I specifically stated I could not do this for them anymore and asked me to do her a "FAVOR" to pick her son up. I was amazed. I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS! Asking if I was less stressed out about it all......excuse me, did I mention we were missing appts. due to her laziness and her new job she took as soon as my daughter was enrolled?
THen she went on stating she was sorry her hubby dumped me!!! WHat the heck is that all about? Is this the mind of a crazed woman? I miss so much, I hadn't even noticed that her husband and I were having an affair much less that he dumped me to boot!! I have a life...I date......I try to care for an ill mother and my daughter who has been through he--.
As you all realize, I have a disease and just cannot keep up wth all this and my schedule too. WHat happened to people raising their own children? I have plenty too much to do to worry about fitting in another ride for someone elses child...heck half the time I do not know how my own child will be getting home. So I guess the question here would be, what do you think of this?Any and all input would be very much appreciated.
bb
BB, You sound like a strong and independent woman. In fact, I know you are. JUST SAY NO. We can't take on other people's issues. Everyone has issues but it is enough to take care of our own and the people we love. So tell her, SO SORRY, I CANNOT COMMIT TO ANY MORE RESPONSIBILTIES !!!! I'm sorry BUT so many people are a pain in the ass and the one thing you learn when you get older, is to state your mind - not to attack but to set up boundaries. YOU GO GIRL
PS I hope this vent made you feel better though
Years ago I helped a very good friend of mine, that did not bother me at all. But this is a neighbor so close in proximity that if I open my kithchen door, they can look out their kitchen window and see right in my house. I never thought it would be a problem. Funny thing is, the realtor warned me about these people stating that the previous owners made a few statements about them. I thought, heck I get along with everybody, no problem. THis does not hold true anymore especially when I am being so used.
THe vent helped, would help more if she could read it! lol Maybe I should make a copy of it and mail it to her........bad idea.
I have watched what I say around she and her hubby cause they like to tell lies to eachother, so I am very careful to choose my words extremely careful; your right, ""not to attack but to set up boundaries"".
I sure don't feel very strong and independent, I feel more like I am in "survival mode" and "self preservation mode" all the time. Regardless, thank you for the compliment..........and about feeling flattered that she is jealous.......lololol, ok, but let me tell youTHAT IN ITSELF IS A PAIN IN THE ASS!You made me smile, thanks!
I would really rather be married to a loving husband, you know the kind...the ones that help out with the kids and all that needs accomplished on any given day. Being single is not all that great ya know. People view you so differently than when you are married and they have more of a tendency to take advantage of you when you are single.
bb
I used to practice my "no skills" because I was the same way. You have to set boundaries. Unfortunately, it is not your problem. People will use you as much as you let them, and there is no way an RA person makes a good doormat.
YEah she is a real nutjob. I almost want to laugh at her because...well...does the woman have no pride or dignity?! I mean, I would never expect a neighbor to do so much especially one with the health probs I have.
Thanks you so much for yoru input. My sis and bro - in-law told me to just ignore them..........actually, I have too much going on to notice what they are doing...aka. I have a life!
BB-every where I live I end up with one neighbor that is a complete idiot. I dont know how I attract the freaks, but I do. I always handle it this way. I just don't have anything to do with them. Just b/c you live next door to someone does not mean you have to socialize with them. You most certainly do NOT have any obligations to them. Keep your dogs, kids, trash cans, etc off of their property and mind your business. Dont have wild parties till 3am or garden in the nude. That is about the extent of your neighborly resposibility. You dont have to wave every time you pass on the street. If they are weirdos, no matter what you do, these kinds of stupid things will always resurface. Just walk away now before you get more deeply involved.
It is interesting how resourceful people will become when left to their own devices. Say NO to them, they will get by just fine on their own or they will find someone else to con into running their kid around. There is no sense in running yourself into the ground for people who have no regard for you, your health, or your family.
Good luck!!!
My mother wants to put a fence up for her dog and for the privacy so that will be a big advantage as well. We never go to that side of our yard anymore and don't even use the door on that side either. Shame isn't it???All that because of their selfishness........Because I won't wait on them hand and foot being their son's driver...maybe they should hire someone else...of course, I was free...hmmmmm well maybe what they need is a nanny. Thanks so much for your input. I am so used to living in an area of kind respectful people, this one has been difficult for me...culture shock maybe? When I had intially spoken to her on the phone about all this, I gave her a week to make other arrangements not wanting to leave her high and dry, being "nice". Of course that did not go well, she went and got her son from school that day without telling me she was going to get him so my daughter and I sat there waiting on her kid. I was amazed at her. And not in a good way either! I guess she let me have it huh? lol Her husband nor she ever called me till I heard from her to do her another "FAVOR" to pick up her son while she has some lump removed...sorry I said no more, can she get it through her head? Heck, I have had several tumors removed,I know how scary it is not to mention painful. I am not that sympathetic to that when a person has done me so dirty.I am the type of person, that if you do me dirty like that, that's it. No more favors, no more nice me. I keep to myself. Other than that I am there always when a friend or neighbor needs help, always have been always will be but not when I have been royally screwed over and taken advantage of. Her mom does not live that far away nor does any of her other relatives and she has several friends and a husband to help out....... Regardless, thank you all so much for your input. I jjust cannot believe the way some people think. The societal cruelty is just gone beyond belief. Anyway, I am next to this neighbor and a fence will be most inviting. My other neighbors are very kind....go figure.
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