A question and a whine.. | Arthritis Information

Hello AI family!

I found out yesterday that I have 3 collapsed disks in my neck, along with arthritis and extensive spurring. Does anyone know if RA can cause collapsed disks? I am 40 years old, so I'm a little too young for age related disk problems. But.. I did have a bad horseback riding accident 20 years ago which fractured my neck. I had my neck x-rayed 10 years ago and it showed no disk issues or arthritis. (I was dx'd with RA about 18 months ago). I have to get an MRI and I've got a referral to a spine specialist, so I will definitely ask him/her, but I thought someone here would probably have gone through this already. My neck is in such bad shape that it is beginning to curve in the opposite direction!

BTW, I would like to encourage everyone here to get 2nd opinions if what their doctor says doesn't seem right. I had to find a new orthopedic doc this year. In January I went to someone (for my neck and knees) who barely examined me, didn't take an x-ray of my neck, took x-rays of my knees and told me that I had no arthritis anywhere. He even went so far as to say that he didn't believe I had RA! Thank goodness I decided to go to a different doctor. She did a thorough exam and x-rays which uncovered my very obvious neck issues and arthritis in my knees. Plus, I really like her.

Ok.. now for the whine. I'm starting to feel a little isolated. I have plenty of friends and I'm pretty social, but I'm being left out of things that I used to be invited to. My friends are sweet, but they know I can't drink and that I have some physical limitations, so they don't ask me to go out for drinks or to go camping or hiking.. etc etc.. I know that one solution would be to assure them that I would like to go for drinks anyway and I'll just stick to club soda. I guess I'm not really looking for solutions, just a shoulder to cry on and to hear that other people feel the same way. Its all too easy for me to look down the road and find myself on the outside of these friendships. Know what I mean?

Thanks for 'listening' to the whine. I hope everyone is have a great dayHey, Leila,

I have DDD in the thoracic and lumbar-sacral area and in MY case it's the result of old injuries and old age. To the best of my knowledge, it has nothing to do with any form of autoimmune arthritis.....but who knows?

Interesting, but last week I went for my 1st of three Synvisc shots in the knees by my orth surgeon. My back was killing me. A few months earlier I had been told by the RD that it was the DDD, but something didn't sound right - I thought something else was going on in addition to the DDD. Anyway, along with the Synvisc my orth surgeon gave me a shot of Kenalog [my good buddy!] in each knee. I also had a Kenalog shot in my wrist last week.

Within 24 hours not only was my knee pain history, but so was my BACK pain. I mentioned this yesterday to the orth surgeon and we're of the like mind that the Kenalog, having had a chance to "go systemic" through the body, quelled the inflammation in the back. Which tells me that it was NOT DDD that was bothering me.....but some inflammation along the spine [Aklylosing Spondylitis???].

So I'm with you - if the diagnosis [or lack of one] doesn't feel right, keep trucking.

About the isolation. You know, I'll bet your friends just don't know what you're able to do, how much you want to participate. They just might be afraid to invite you for fear that you would have to turn down their offer and think they are insensitive. Maybe you should take one of them out for lunch and steer the conversation to what you can and want to do. You might explain that you have no qualms about drinking virgin mary's while they have the real deal. That info is sure to travel to the others and to clear the air.

One thing I've learned over the year is that people don't want to hear about my physical complaints. I save that for everyone on this website instead. And that's ok.

Real friends want to know how to be the best friend possible. But it's a two-way street. Communication is key. Isolation is a bad thing. We need to be with people - and not just online.

So go make a lunch date with one of them.

Thank you ladies.. for the advice, hug, and especially the virtual kleenex. You can never have too much of that.
Yeah.. somedays are definitely harder than others. It has been been one of those weeks, long on challenges and short on energy. Feeling like I was doomed to isolation was just me 'horrible-izing'. A couple of friends let me know they had planned a camping trip together. A couple of others had enjoyed a long hike together on a sunny day. There was no effort to exclude me or even hide it from me. Just the unspoken knowledge that I can't hike the hills or backpack into a campsite. I certainly do not drone on and on about my limitations, as a matter of fact I rarely say anything.. but my circle of friends has seen me through multiple surgeries and days when its really hard to leave the house. So they just know. I'm glad that they still hike together and camp together. I'm really glad that they don't hide it from me in an effort to not make me feel bad. And I don't want to make them feel bad either, so that's why I took my irrational fear of isolation here. I am able to keep my chin up most of the time... but sometimes my 'new' life is a drag.

I decided this afternoon to plan a girls night out. Friday we are all meeting at our favorite bar and grill. The deserts are amazing and, as you all know, a big slice of chocolate cake is the only proven cure for a crappy week. Big slice of chocolate cake cures EVERYTHING.

Glad you took the initiative. Let them know how you value their friendship......and that you'd still appreciate being invited on their hikes and having the option to turn down the invitation. After all, there are some rare times when you just might feel like you feel well enough to go! This will make them feel like they did the right thing, and you'll feel like a solid member of the group.

You're feeling better [emotionally] and that's a good thing.

leila,

I'm not saying that what happened to me is what is happening to you but when i was first diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, I carried the disease and my downer attitude everywhere i went with my friends. Pretty soon, my phone stopped ringing and when i called, everyone was busy, wishing me the best with my disease. They had just gotten tired of listening to me and my woes. eventually, I left my disease and woes in the closet when i grabbed my coat and hat. Once again, I am invited more than I care to go.

Sorry to hear of your additional problems stress and worries. I hope it can all be fixed. Please don't take my story the wrong way.

LEV

I am very very glad that you are doing so well Lev. You've had a rough time of it and I know your success gives a lot of people hope.

I am a little confused as to what you want me to do with your post. I know you don't want me to take it the wrong way, but what would be the right way? I was feeling a bit down this morning and was hoping for a few words of encouragement from people who would understand. Now I wish I'd never posted this. Hi Leila, as far as I know RA can't cause the collapsed discs, i'd say that was the accident that brought osteoarthritis on early, the facet joints of our spines can be affected by RA and mine are, they are joints so are affected by RA and inflammation, just try to keep supple, I have started taking panadol-osteo (acetaminophen) at a stronger dose than ordinary panadol, and it is helping the osteoarthritis, I have to take it regularly on top of all other painkillers, swimmimg has helped my spine too. As for the friends part, most of the time I am glad to be left alone as I get too irritable, tired, painful around people so prefer to be on my own, at first I missed all my friends etc but now I am a real homebody, I go and meet friends for coffee when I can and I steer clear of my RA altho they never seem to tire of hearing about it, always asking me whats happening now, but mines not just RA and so many Drs trips are for other things, they like to be kept up to date. Just be you, tell your good friends you miss them and maybe they have been scared to be around you feeling sorry for you being unable to participoate in some things, I am sure you know what I am trying to say, the good ones will always be there for you, hugs Janie. Cheer up, good days and bad, we all have them, just know we are there with you and for you.

offering shoulder to cry on!

I have mornings and moments like you, feeling blue, and frustrated. Hope tomorrow is a brighter day.

leila,

I expect you to take my post either way. You can take it the good way, which is the way I wrote it or if you need to get angry at someone, take it the wrong way and try to make me the bad guy. It won't bother me. I simply explained to you why some of us lose friendships and companionship. The old saying that misery loves company is so true but so is the old saying that company does not love misery. I did not change my woe is me attitude only after i became better, I changed it whilst I was still crippled after a loved one explained to me that I was bringing every one down. Okay, I'm sick, but i'm going to show my smiley face. I'm still going to see the good. I don't have stomach cancer as does Mrs. Goodman. She has less than six months to live. I very much feel for your misery or I wouldn't have even replied. I want what's good for you or I wouldn't have replied. A loved one said to me what i said to you. I so much appreciate my loved one for helping me to see what i couldn't see. Support comes in all colors, not just hugs and kisses. Good luck.

LEV

I probably should keep my mouth shut, but I have to agree with Lev in that there are times when healthy friends really do not want to hear about the many doctor visits or drugs, etc. I, too, learned early on that when someone asks how I'm feeling I just say "fine, thanks." They really don't want to hear about aches and pains and frankly, I don't like wallowing in them. I'd rather spend my time with them doing or talking about normal things.

Hi leila,

Hope you are well. I want to be sure that you didn't hink that i was taking your very serious medical problems lightly. I also wanted to be sure that you realized that what i said about dropping companions was my story and may not have anything to do with you. Even if it does, we, and especially you and the others with multiple illnesses have every right to complain and bring it up. I know that when my disease was new, it took up practically every second of my thoughts. Wishing you good things.

LEV

Leila,

You aren't too young for those types of neck problems. I was close to 40 when I started having pain in my shoulder. I went to the doctor who told me he thought it was my neck. I thought he was nuts. After my MRI, I got a three page document on my horrible neck, which included two ruptured disks and lots of arthritis.

I had a close friend that had fibromyalgia and I was very supportive of her for many years. We would spend hours talking about how bad she felt and how her husband didn't understand. I was there for her every single day. We were always together. When I developed RA, she wasn't supportive at all. She blew me off and dropped me like a hot potato. Some friends are just "fair weathered" friends and can't handle being the supportive one. It hurts. I know. But hang in there.

Gentle hugs...

[QUOTE=kweenb] Leila,

You aren't too young for those types of neck problems.[/QUOTE]

Gee thanks kweenb. You really know how to hurt a gal! Actually, I did a little research on collapsed disks and found that they can begin as early as the teen years. I'm sure the fractured neck at 19 accelerated things. Ah well.. so much for my delusion of youth.
Thank you also for your support. It really means a lot to me. Same goes for you Snow! You are my favorite owl.

Lev, I really appreciate you taking the time to clarify. I really do. I know you meant to be helpful with your first post also, but my day was just sucking too much for me to read it the way it was intended. Thank you for your well wishes.

Well my AI friends, onward and upward!
I get to feelling isolated sometimes. I usually decline invitations because i am to tired to go places in the evenings.

Just that my days often are long enough before dinner time to require a nap. The thought of getting back in the shower and dressed for a night out on the town is exhausting just to think about to me.

Sometimes it gets to me but not enough to get me to except an invitation out to eat. I do go out once in a blue moon. I tend to do things on the spur of the moment rather than to make definate plans. I just never know if I am feelling up to it until the time comes.

About the colapsed disks? My opinion and experience is that I am stiffer and less flexable and I tend to break easier. Buldged disks or ruptured disk in the neck are harder to come back from then the ones in the lower back in my experience.

The things I used to do without injury can more easily injury me. I strain, break, buldge and tear more easily than I used to. I actually have arthritis out side of my spine rather than inside my spine. Well thats what the spine specialist said. He noted that it was pretty bad actually. I have buldged disks in the neck and the lower back also. If it helps any I was 40 when my disks buldged. I am 47 now.

milly2010-03-27 16:09:10Leila,

I'm sorry. I didn't word that correctly. I wasn't trying to say that you were old. Honest.