On what should be a happy day...Easter Sunday...I am so depressed and filled with rage over the fact that my body is a piece of sh*t that I can't even enjoy the day.
I hate RA...the pain, the swelling, the long term ramifications of having it. The limits it has put on my body and what I can do.
Cleaning the house has become a chore in which I cry and fret while doing it. I never minded housecleaning and always kept a beautiful house...now...something as simple as cleaning the kitchen countertops is monumental.
I'm just gonna retreat to my bedroom and cry and pray for death. What kind of a life is this for anyone anyway?
Holidays are often hard. Even for people without a chronic medical problem.
Believe me when I tell you that things will be better. RA is so frustrating-it's all about finding the right dr and right meds. But it will happen
Please talk to someone-family or friend. I am so sorry to hear that you feel this way...
You need to talk with someone.
See if there's a support group in your area for people with chronic diseases.
Also, consider if you're doing too much at one time. If you haven't learned to do so, try pacing yourself.
Hi Dachie, I have been having days like that now for a while and just when I think it can't get any worse it does just that! Find a reason to keep going and stick with it, don't let it beat you. Easter is a bad time as we are all supposed to get together and have fun, all I have done is sleep and hurt, I feel so sorry for my boys, they make their own lunch and entertain themselves half the time and I can't do nothing about it, it sucks thats for sure! I will think of you and pray that you will find the strength to climb out of this, best of luck, Janie.
You know, Dachie, I think it's the first year or so that's the real monster. At that time we're all in a shade of denial; our minds are telling us we should be able to do everything we used to and our bodies are screaming, "No! No!" In short, we haven't come to terms in accepting the disease. [Accepting doesn't mean you have to like it!]
You need to rethink your ADL's [Activities of Daily Living]. You need to accept that the house isn't going to be spotless all the time and things aren't going to be done in a timely fashion. You'll have to find alternative ways of doing things. It all takes time and it's a huge adjustment. And even after you've "accepted" you'll still have days where your anger lashes out, and then the tears follow. But you know what? For most of us, over time, we learn to deal with it.
And after all that, you have to look at your attitude about this disease. You can either let it control you or you can control it. So maybe it's going to control your body, but don't let it control your mind.
Best wishes.
We have to search our souls and decide what kind of life we want. How bad do we want to clean our house and play with our children?
I am still in the denile phase. Actually I will gladly lay around alot more when my babies grow up. LOL
I tend to have problems with RA meds. That has made for some discouraging times. I started taking Lyrica and Cymbalta about two and a half months ago. Well I can do more and have less pain. Also I do not care as much about what the houses looks like. If I do care I can clean it faster then before so less time to spend worring.
The kids can mess up a good house cleaning so fast it seems like a waste off time. I had totally bleached down my sisters house and they came down with the flu. I had to do it all over again. I wanted to cry but it had nothing to do with the RA. LOL
The damage is the worst. I think those of us that had slow onset have the worst damage. Not the big swelling the docs could see. I screamed at doc and RDs for years and was brushed off. My bloodwork only showed positive by the time I had joint damage.
Life is not fair I can testify to that. Life is good. I have my babies and this is the best time of my life. My feet hurt pretty bad and that _____. Fill in the blank with any word you wish. LOL My arms have tendonitis in the shoulders and elbows. My wrist and fingers are nothing to brag about. I have full body major problems and damage. The damage is even getting old enough to vote and then some.
I am glad you vented. You have my support for whatever that is worth. I wish you better days.
My way of dealling with RA may not be the right one. It is my choice to have an active role in raising my grand babies and nieces and nephews. I guess I am not so afraid of future problems scince I already have them. The kids will take care of me when they get older. I just have to wait it out. LOL They do not stay little for long.
milly2010-04-06 09:24:24Please let us know how you are doing...I agree that the first year is extra hard. I think it's because being not so far removed from having good health, the memory is strong about the way things were and should be. Being new to a chronic condition is like grief. Eventually, you get used to it... not that you like it at all, but you get to a place of accepting it and adjusting your life to your new capabilities. That includes giving yourself permission to be very flexible about plans every day, whether it be necessary tasks like errands or housework, or more fun and social. I rarely get all my plans accomplished so learned to always prioritize. My RD actually told me to adjust my life which hit me to realize that wow, this is for real. I understood that I needed to let go of the way I previously expected a day to go. Of course pain and limitations are at the core of it all, but accepting changes does help. You are in my thoughts.
My thoughts have been with you the past few days. There is so much I could say but others have said much of it. Having RA IS really really hard. There is so much to deal with and there always seems to be something new. But somehow you do it.. and even though the disease and the side effects and the medications and the doctors' appointments continue, you DO learn to adjust and you DO smile and laugh again. It is so important to have good friends or some support group. What keeps me going is that my doctor says that his goal for me is "70%" functioning. I have never asked him if he meant 70% of the time or a limitation of 30% of what I can do. I know that when he said that my husband was with me, and we said to each other"we can do that". So, even though there are many times when I question the 70%, realistically OVERALL, I think I probably function at a little below that. But I will take it .I think there are many people in the world who would give everything to have that 70% and that is what I try to focus on. I try really hard on the days that I am functioning way below that, not to be hard on myself, knowing that other days will make up for it.
Does this make sense?? Please let us know how you are doing and if there is anything any one of us can do for you.
My thoughts are with you.
I hope things have gotten a little easier for you and you have found someone you can confide in to help you through all this.
We all have good days and bad, RA or not, so hold on...
Pleas, do let us know how you are... we care and we know what you are going through.
hey Dachie!!
I can completely commiserate with all your feelings.. as can everyone here.. every blessed one of us has been where you are.
Please draw strength from the fact that......... we are HERE and we are mostly doing much better!!! It does get easier.. it does get better.. meds do work!!
I am almost in medical remissions.......... that's a three year journey for me.. but I have come so far
YOU will TOO!!
Hang in there...... I'm here if you ever want to talk
Well, I didn't die but I still feel like crap.
It's one thing to feel like crap, it's a whole different ball game to feel like crap and be in a really bad frame of mind.
My frame of mind is better, my body is still the same. My house is still the same...a mess.
Thanks for all your words of encouragement...it's nice to vent and discuss RA related issues with people who really know what I'm talking about.
I can always rely on my husband, my daughter, my family for support but sometimes I hold it in because I don't want to bring everyone else down. That's what I did Sunday...held it in until I came here and exploded.
good place to explode!!
We understand.. You maybe weren't here when we felt just as you do....
but we did.... we get it..
Hang in there.. the dust bunnies will still be there when you are feeling better!! ;)
KABOOM!!!! Glad you let some steam out. Keeping it all bottled up is hard on the spirit. We are here for you. Vent anytime you feel the need.
This forum is a wonderful outlet. Wishing you better days!
I am sorry you feel that way. I have RA and OA hands. wrist, elbows fingers.
It sux. Im on Orencia, Nabumintone, sulfasalizine, Trimed,and Prednisone.
It helps but by no means 100% just around 65% meds dont last 8 hrs just around 7 hrs.
my wife and i got a Maid for once a month to clean our house, it helps and my wife supports me and helps me out with whatever she can. I also have a full time job. everyday is a challenge. try to keep postive theres always new meds coming out.
Thanks
Richi Gross
Email: rockhard2750@yahoo.com
Just remember that you are NOT the disease. You are still the same person as you have always been. The pain will be controlled eventually and although you may not climb mountains (did you ever do that?), there will be plenty of work-arounds for accomplishing what needs to be done.
Life will get better.
Ann
Hi Dachie, I just want to echo what has been said and throw in a
I have often felt like you-especially during the first year. I lived alone and worked full time and it was SO hard. But I listen to Christian radio and one day I called for prayer. They were amazing and prayed with me over the phone and it really helped to talk to them and I could also feel the power of their prayers over the next days. Two station I would recommend, and their contact info:
1. KLOVE (800) 525-LOVE (aske for the prayer line)
2. Family Life Radio 1-800-776-1060
Bless you...
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