I know this is sort of off the wall here but I haven't seen any discussion of RA's where their sex life is a problem.
1. Those of us with RA have so many areas effected, does anyone have problems with the normal desire's that were once there and now are not ?
2. Does anyone's symptoms include any of the following: sensitivity to being touched, rubbed on the skin, or just normal joint pain while in the act ?
3. What about signals from the genital area reaching the brian and visa-versa ?
I am just wondering how common this may be among RA's or if I need to look into something else going on. Thanks everyone Oh wow. First, my hips hurt and my husband is a large
man...second, my desire is ZERO, and yes certain types of touching,
even gentle, hurts.
Sex? Whats that?
The really SPECIAL thing is I get to have RA AND go through menopause all at once.
Through my 30's the RA didn't affect my sex life. Now in my mid 40's I have slowed down some. I think it's because I'm going through menopause. I'm like Crunchy..once I'm "doing my thing" it's all great and I actually feel better.
Thanks for the help.
So maybe for some RA is affecting and maybe not for others. Im like VTmtngirl, I guessI jsut dont even have the desire and then when it does happen it just hurts my whole body.
My joints hurt afterwards and I blame the prozac for not having the sex drive I had before but during and afterwards - I LOVE IT. I always think - we should do that more oftenRA...I know has hurt my relationship with my husband a lot. He thinks it is him and that I am not attracted to him. The bottom line is I don't feel as attractive as I use too before having RA. I am very attracted to my husband. Yet my libido is in the toliet and all my energy is spent on the pain I am in all the time, the pain makes me too tired to do anything else. I try to explain to him we can be intimate without us having to do the do all the time. BUT...I guess when it can stretch 2 or 3 months, the do is all he can see!
I have to take muscle relaxants and take long warm bath at least an hour or more before we can do anything. That is the only way I can relax. 2. Because I take the muscle relaxant before, I don't have much pain during or after. BUT THE NEXT DAY...yes...I will be stiff. If I don't take a pain pill before...I have trouble afterwards. My skins sensitivty is normal. It is just the joint pain after if I don't take the medicines that get to me. 3. Everything in the womanly dept as far as sensitivity is good. no complaints there...it is just the libido for me is a serious issue. 2. Doesn't hurt until afterwards..(the next day)...... very stiff and sore. And my skin will be sensitive. It will hurt to brush my hair... or take a shower. 3. All my signals to the brain are just fine - tyvm
Only problem is - dryness......... which my doctor said is a RA thing... dryness.. in skin - mouth, vaginal area....... etc. Sex isn't even worth it to me anymore....... honestly...
woobs
Hi Everyone, I'm new to this site, and I'm very glad I stumbled on it. I've had so many concerns that I haven't been talking about with anyone. I was diagnosed with RA last summer. I was actually relieved because I thought I had bone cancer. I knew something was wrong for a long time, but my doctor kept telling me everything looked fine, blah, blah, blah. She finally tested me for lyme disease, and my rheumatoid levels, because low and behold they were off the charts. I spent time with a specialist having all kinds of tests, then it was on to treatments. I got discouraged and didn't see improvement with the medications. Very frustrating. Horrible side effects. Lots of discouragement. I thought I was loosing my mind! Like many of you I've gone many routes in dealing with this, from different med's, diet, homeopathic etc. Some days are better than others. My biggest frustration has been my lack of sex drive, actually lack of libido, and the tiredness. It makes me depressed. I have no energy most of the time. I always wake up with good intentions, as soon as I hit the floor and attempt the stairs I am reminded of what I'm dealing with, then as the day wears on I lose my umph. I end up putting off everything I had intended to take care of, then I get upset at myself. I work with youth and have two daughters of my own with busy schedules and my frustration levels go off the charts some days because it takes all I've got to keep the pace. Now I've been feeling guilty because I've lost my desire. I am blessed to have such an understanding husband, but I guess I wonder is this it? Is it gone for good? Is there hope? Just the thought of intimacy makes me uncomfortable. I feel undesirable, inadequate, and selfish. Thank you for sharing so openly about your battles. I can totally relate about feeling less attractive. It is hard to walk around like an old lady and still feel sexy, plus all of the stress doesnt help. It can put a strain on things at times. I know having kids in the house doesnt help eitherI hear ya! I can barely make it to the bed let alone do anything once I'm there. Forget normal positions. If his knees bump mine ouch!! Then there's the actual desire, what's that? I think my husband has finally figured out the least romantic position is the most comfortable for the both of us. Still have joint pain afterwards but am willing to go through it for the both of us. I refuse to let this disease destroy my marriage and as long as I have an understanding spouse I think all will be well with the world. Sex, what's that! It's been so long that I've given up. Frist of all having a fused hip joint kind of limits your range of motion. Then with the surgeries, I haven't had the desire. My dates have gotten upset with me and one thought that I was gay. I'm so tired of explaning and watching them run as fast as they can. Plus with the RA being in my feet and ankles, they don't look normal. There's a lot of times where I don't feel sexy as it has been hard to get clothes that fit over casts and pain pumps.
I miss having a man in my life as there's nothing nicer than having that one special person who sees the real you and not what RA has made your body into.
MarisaAAAHHHHH!!!!There is nothing more alluring than the smell of Ben-gay and the sound of your bones popping!Oh Crunchy LOL
This is so hard because it is a facet of life that is very
important. I'm trying to find ways to be intimate with my husband
even though I have absolutely NO desire and normal sex is completely
out of the question. We've been apart that way for so long now,
I'm really hesitant but I think we need to try anyway.
Now, I'm going to get into some dicy territory here and hope that my
post doesn't get deleted. I'll try to be delicate Even if you
don't and/or cant have normal sex, perhaps providing some manual way of
relieving ones husband/bf tension might help. My hubby even
expressed an interest in using 'toys'. There are always ways
around things and it could be fun to explore them without paying the
price with pain, etc. Sex I think is more important to men than
women in many ways, what we get from it is different than what they
get. Like I said, some mutual manipulations might prove to be a
way to keep that intimacy going. While you are at it, see if they
would like to give you a nice gentle massage (for those sore muscles
and joints)...could be a win-win situation! Just thinking.
I am not in a relationship at the moment, but I will say, I think release is good and healthy for anyone.
I have heard that it adds years to your life. Also, pleasure
transmits faster than pain, with the way the nervous system works, and
I think it can be a good "pain reliever"
Crunchy I needed that! Now if only I can figure out now to get the emoticons to work!
Marisa
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