Painful intercourse | Arthritis Information

 

 Has anyone had any problems with having sex.  I am really having a difficult time.  The pain is so bad that most of the time I have to tell my husband I just can't.  I tried to talk to my doctor but she avoided the subject.  I don't know if it's just me.  I went and had my yearly physical and there was nothing wrong.  All the tests and the PAP were fine.  I just don't know what to think.  Never had a problem before.  Would appreciate any insight.  Thanks Sorry, Hope the subject didn't offend anyone - Was just looking for answers.Just being tired makes me not much in the mood. I have two young kids though and so opportunity doesnt happen very often.  I dont have pain or anything, it actually is pretty nice once I (we) find the time.  We just recently did a thread on this topic. There are several people who posted and said their sexual relationships were down the drain due to pain and fatigue. So I dont think your situation is rare.  I dont think your doctor should have avoided it. If that was your gyn., I would consider a new doc.  There are some conditions which cause painful intercourse. Hope everything works out for you... and the only thing that offends us here are scammers (ie. salespeople) not real issues or concerns, that is what we are here for.I was not offended, I am just not in the lucky club of having sex, unfortunatley.  

Nothing offends me

So are you saying that having sex is hurting your joints?  Or do you mean the actual intercourse is painful?

Yes! I have been dealing with the exact same thing. Like you my yearly showed nothing was wrong. I chalk it up to two things, I've reached menopause and my sex drive, and body have changed, add to that the RA and all the fun stuff it brings with it including the emotional baggage. I am blessed to have a husband who is patient and understanding. It still doesn't help with the guilt and shame I feel. I do know that with the changes my body is going through I might need some help in the creativity department, lubrication etc. It's easier to give this advise than to implement it. I too feel the frustration. I'm only 47 and still in good shape, I'm not dead yet. Unfortunately my sex drive is. My doctor told me that menopause as well as illness can change how we lubricate and this will definately make for painful intercourse, if this is what you're referring to.

Steriods like prednisone can cause vaginal dryness also Sjogrens Syndrome. I went to a class on arthritis and sex. We were told to take a pain med an hour in advance. Also to take a warm bath or shower to help with the pain. Next them man and woman should lay on their sides and the man should be behind and enter from behind. This takes the pressure of painful joints.Also use a lubrication for dryness.

Hope this helps.

JUST TO JUMP IN HERE AND SUGGEST SOMETHING MY HUSBAND AND I DO.

FIRST I TAKE A HOT SHOWER, THEN HE HEATS UP OLIVE OIL IN A SMALL BOWL, WE LAY OUT A TOWEL ON THE BED AS TO AVOID STAINS FROM THE OIL. LOL

GOOD LUCK

I love a massage also Seagoat.  I have found that some positions hurt my joints but the release and sharing are worth it.  There are also lots of water soluble lubricants that can help to take the pressure off lubrication.  A loving, patient partner is the most important ingredient.  Sadly, I find I don't instigate sex like I used to, I just don't feel good much of the time so I don't think of it.  When hubby does instigate it, I am glad he did.  For ages, the pure exhaustion and fatigue left me not even wanting to try,
then when I did, the pain in my hip was excruciating! Needless to say, that
pretty much put a huge dent in things, as hubby was appalled he was
"hurting me" and afraid to initiate anything after that. Finally one morning he
was being amorous and my hips hurt already so I said look, how about we
make a "date" for tonight? I'll take a pain pill and it will be ok. It was, too. A
little pain, yes but not excruciating...and once we were into it, the good
feelings took over and whoosh, it was wonderful. So spontenaiety is out the
door, but sex is not. Will try the shower and massage, too.
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