Do you work very closely with someone(s) else. I do, and I found that the best thing was to be honest with them about the pain and ask for help when necessary. I didn't want them to suddenly think that I'm a "slacker".
it's was all I could do to do my own job,and since I'm (after a year of treatment, able to do a lot more, I tell them thank you for being such a good friend, but I'm really better, Not Good, but better.
I think it is up to you and what you feel. We must all follow our own heart. If you want to talk about your problems, pain, or just vent, you are at the right place.
Glad to have you, hope to see more of you here.
Most of the time I think people think "it's just arthritis" like it's just the aches and pain of getting old - no big deal! And because I don't go into the specifics, I guess they don't know.
Ulitmately, I believe that most people outside my immediate family don't know how sick I actually am. That said, but I also have a pituitary tumour that nobody knows about.
Guess I don't like negative attention....
I didn't tell anyone until it was noticeable. Then I lied and said I hurt my knee. I don't know why, but I don't want to tell people because I don't want to explain it or gain sympathy.I am new to this forum. Just diagnosed with severe OA in my hips, going to a Rheumatologist tomorrow to see if there is an underlying cause for this rapid deterioration in my hips and aches and pains all over.
My question is do you tell people what you have, or keep it to yourself? Trying as hard as I can, I can't hide my limp, and people I know or work with ask me if I hurt my foot or something. I just blow it off as "Oh, I'm just gettin' old" and say nothing else. (I'm 47). I feel funny about telling people, will they treat me differently, will it impact my job, etc. I don't want sympathy, and I don't want it to change my life or my family's if I can help it, so I just go on and pretend I'm fine. Denial, maybe, I don't know.
What do you folks do?
I think you have to pick and choose who you tell. If it's a checker in the supermarket you don't know and they ask you how you're doing, I usually say fine. It's too complicated to say any more. Sometimes I say alright. If it's at work and someone who needs to know because I need accommodations, I tell on an as need basis. A lot of people at my school have no idea I'm sick. That can be a problem when I'm asked to work late hours or fill in for others during my prep time, or lift heavy equipment. I just tell when I have to. I generally do not tell, only those very close to me. I find that it is easier as most do not have a clue to what this feels like. I just went shopping with friends and had a difficult time keeping up and was very tired ( I used to be the one who could go all day). But, I know that it could be worse. Eventually we all get something or another. Hey, at least we know! AngieThere is no way I can keep it a secret. It affects my work in so many ways. Since I started basically in the hospital with chest pains, that got big attention. But I also have to miss a lot of work because of all the specialists I see. You can't do that very long without telling your boss why.
Then, when I used a cane, it was a dead giveaway. Mostly, people, even those outside of my group, have been very kind. Everyone knows I had to leave work for awhile because I got so sick.
There was a time when my hands shook bad because of the pain. People are going to think something's wrong.
I want people to know becasue I want them to be educated. Also, it has given others the opportunity to feel free to talk to me about their problems. Seems we all have them.
But I don't know what I will do if I change jobs. That's scary for me. I can't work 40 hours. I have to explain that. I have to miss work for all kinds of appointments. So, what do you say. Hey, I'm really good at my job but terriby unreliable with my attendance. Some days, I don't know how my boss puts up with it. She's no saint, but she is very understanding about this.
I do talk to people about it...when they get that blank look like I just said I just have achey bones...I tell them that it is RA, it is treated with chemo drugs but there is no cure. That is just me, but I think it is time for people to learn what RA really is.I tell people on a "need to know" basis. If there's something I should be doing that I can't or won't do, and it's related to RA, I tell them. My husband and daughter know, of course, but I haven't told my brothers. I should, since genetically, they're susceptible, too. I've told some close friends, but not others. Generally, people don't understand anyway, so telling them doesn't make a huge difference.