Dating a guy whose mom has Rheumatoid Arthritis | Arthritis Information

I have rheumatoid arthritis and I was diagnosed with it 3 years ago. I just went on a first date with a guy who told me his mom has rheumatoid arthritis. (he didn't mean to tell me straight out, the conversation evolved naturually, so it wasn't weird at all). I've never met anyone else with RA, so when I heard it, I thought wow, he must know a lot about the disease and I wouldn't have to explain it to him. But since it was a first date, I didn't think it was appropriate for me to chime in and say I have RA too.

When is a good time for me to tell him I have RA?

Also, genetically speaking, since his mom has RA and I have RA, does that make it more likely that if I have a baby with him, then the baby would have RA? ... I know it's just a first date and its too soon to think about it ... but I was just wondering ....

After my divorce, I was really worried about telling a new person that I had RA (and Fibro, and other things). All the advice I've ever read says tell the person when you think it may be getting serious/exclusive, or sooner if it comes up naturally in the conversation and you're comfortable. The advice also goes that you should start by telling the person you care about them and there's something you want to share. I ended up telling my now husband everything on our first meeting, and lucky for me it didn't scare him off.

With the guy you mention, even though his mother has RA, it may be very different from your RA....for example she may have hand deformities and undergone surgeries while yours is under control with medication, or vice versa. And he may not be aware of the details of his mother's medical situation, so I wouldn't just assume that you won't have to explain it to him. After telling him, I'd ask him what he knows about it, and fill him in on the rest.

As far as the genetics, I'm not sure they've proven a specific genetic link yet, but unfortunately I would think it would be likely that your chances of having a child who (at some point) develops RA would be higher. How much higher your chances would be, I have no idea.

Anyway, that's a lot to worry about....I hope it was a good first date and you got to enjoy yourself.

ahhh dating, shudders, well i limp, walk exceedly slow.

so not to put you on the spot, lol.. seriously, but has anything else happend?

do tell and hope things are going well for you.. regardless~

i lke living alone