Need help for husband | Arthritis Information

 

My husband just turned 30 and was diagnosed with RA. He is still going through testing because his liver levels are very high to make sue he doesn't have gall stones...that apprently can raise your liver levels. He is NOT dealing with it well at all...he is an Executive Chef and some days he can't use his hands. He is effected in both hands and fingers, wrists, shoulders and knees. This disease is taking a toll on our marriage...he is very depressed and angry. His job works him 17 hours some days and doesn't care that he is sick and that is added stress (he is currently interviewing for a new job). i am trying to be understanding and I take him to his appointments with the doctors but he just keeps saying "why is this happening to me?" and I feel bad.

Can Prednisone make his fair-up's worse? He did his first set of steroids and felt great, then 2 weeks later he crashed and is back on 15MG a day until we get the latest test results back. He is not on any meds yet until we find out why the liver levels are so high. If he has liver damage he can't be put on a lot of the meds for RA.

Any info will be helpful. We have a great doctor, it's all these tests and not being on meds that is hard.

The tests are frustrating. For me, they did test after test after test, until I wanted to scream. The prednisone should not be causing a flare. That's his body doing that.

Depression and anger seem to be very common. Once his symptoms are under control, a lot of that will go away. He has a very demanding job (I have a good friend who is an exec. chef), as you said. There's not a lot of down time in it, and there is a lot of pressure. The stress of the job and the illness itself can add to the flare. So can the long, late hours.

He sounds like a lot of us, honestly. There WILL be more good times ahead - but the disease itself is very unpredictable.

I know that in Dec., I hurt so much, I could have died. Couldn't use my hands or feet at all. Couldn't turn on a light switch. Couldn't walk. Today, I'm in pretty good shape. There's still pain, but it's manageable. I can walk a mile or 2. I can do most of what I used to do. I do run out of energy - I don't get through the day without a nap. I'd say lack of energy is the worst for me right now.

Good luck! It's hard on you - and really hard to understand. When he's in the middle of the flare, the pain is unbearable, and it's really hard for anyone who doesn't feel it to know what he's going through. Keep us posted. Encourage him to come & ask questions.

Lee

First of all, welcome!  Sorry you and your husband are going through this.  I just wanted to say...it WILL get better. I know that in the beginning, for me, it was hard to think that things would ever get better..but it did. I guess the hardest part is to  figure out what meds to get him on with the problems he's having with the liver levels.  Hopefully they figure that out soon.  Please keep us posted.

Good Luck,

Kelly

My liver lvls went high after i took high dose of prednisone.  Was he tested after the first high doses?  Pred is a very hard med and can do that to most.

I am 33 and wonder why myself.  I cannot work out of the home and it is very possible that within 10 years he won't be able to either, especially with the job he does.  I would suggest starting on IRA accounts etc. for retirment early as well.

there are many meds out there to help.  It takes time to find the right one.  I always wonder "why me" but i have been sick my whole life, so i don't know what it is like without pain.

I wish him well and pray daily for better meds and/or a cure.  God bless.

Yes I too am fairly young 32 and have been battling arthrits since  I was 16, and the hardest part was in my twenties, it was very rough at times almost unbearable,but it does get better and manageable but it is very important to get a good RA doctor and on the right combination of meds so at least the pain is more bareable and the flare ups are minimal and to definitely prevent joint damage. my hands became claw shaped, and getting around takes more thought but i promise there is life after RA he will just have to adjust and manage is life style a little better. control the RA dont let it steal his joy cause it will if he lets it . he has to fight. and all you can do is be the best supportive wife you can be. try to find groups of other spouses so you have people to relate to it helps. he is definitley in my prayers. LOL

I am a support group leader and anger is very normal. After all we have lost the most precious gift we have. The loss of our good health.Some people stay angry for months some for a couple of years (me) Contact the arthritis foundation www.arthritis.org.com to find a support group in your area. They can help ypu understand what he is going through and  teach him ways to cope.

Good luck to you both.

Hi and welcome. I am sorry to hear that your husband is going through this, at least he is not facing it alone. Alot of spouses dont take as much initiative as you are in assisting their loved ones...they just dont truly understand. I am 31 and work as a nurse in a busy ER. I know exactly what is means to need to be able to use my hands, stand and walk for long hours, and deal with unrelenting pressure on the job. It is hard, especially when it is more than a job, it is a career.  I have had mild to moderate symptoms for years so I guess I had time to get used to the idea of RA before I was officially diagnosed. Even so, when "the big one" hit me I was still angry and depressed. It didnt exactly happen at the best time for me.  I mean no time is a good time, but it was really bad timeing. I just want you and your husband to know that yall are not alone. Keep doing your research and reading and asking questions. I wish you both the best of luck. Hang in there!

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