How to Stop Attention Seeking Behavior | Arthritis Information

This might work....

How to Stop Attention Seeking Behavior

We have all seen attention seeking behavior that we needed to stop. We have all seen children and adults do things that were inappropriate and yet got them a lot of attention. A child misbehaves at school and the teacher redirects them. An adult says something inappropriate and everyone turns to look. Rarely does good behavior get the same kind of attention that bad behavior does. People who are lacking attention learn quickly what behaviors get them the attention they want. They may not even care if they are getting negative attention. There is a way, though, to stop that negative attention seeking behavior.

Instructions

- 1
  
  If you want to stop attention seeking behavior then you first have to give them what they want (attention) for other more positive things.
  
  The need for attention is a basic human need. Granted, some people need more of it than others do. However, they have just not learned to get it for positive behaviors instead of negative. The reason they have not learned that is because we often do not pay attention to positive behaviors. Being good does not gain us a lot of attention. Being bad does. We cannot get rid of the need for attention. Do not even try. What we can do is start giving that attention for good behaviors. Make sure to notice the little things that kids do. Let people know how appreciative we are. Schedule an evening that belongs to your child with no interruptions. Little things like eating together, bedtime stories for little kids, talking about what they want to talk about without interruptions, or even just saying "thanks" can go a long way.
- 2
  
  Cut out attention for negative behaviors.
  
  This is the hard part. It may be impossible to cut out all negative attention. Kids and adults do things that we have to respond to. However, we can pick and choose our battles. We do not have to respond to every little thing. We can also avoid overdoing it. If a child misbehaves in class, does that really require the teacher and principal and counselor all three hovering around? That is often way too much attention. Yes, that actually happens. If your child misbehaves, can they be redirected in private with minimum time spent on it? Can they be taken out of the restaurant or store before being scolded? The key is to minimize any attention they get for negative behaviors as much as possible.
- 3
  
  Cut out negative attention almost at the same time that you start focusing on good attention.
  
  Timing is important. Do not try to cut out the negative attention before really giving more positive attention though. If you cut out the negative before giving the positive you are essentially asking them to go without any attention. That will not work. What will happen, if you try to cut out the negative and they are not already getting enough positive, is that they will increase the negative behaviors in an attempt to be seen and heard. We want just to opposite to happen.
- 4
  
  Be patient and give this some time to work.
  
  The older the child, the more patient we will have to be. Old habits and learned behaviors die hard. If your child is fairly young, then getting rid of negative attention seeking behavior is much easier to do. However, if they are older and the negative attention getting has been working for them for a longer period of time, then it will take longer to swap those negative behaviors for positive ones. Hang in there and do not give up. They are depending on the fact that they can persist longer than we can. Keep giving them positives and keep cutting out the negative attention. Also make sure that the positive you are giving them is something they want. For example, it will do no good to compliment a student in front of the class if that is something that they find embarrassing.

If this post is directed at me Lynn then yup, Im attention seeking. I want attention so that people can recognise the resident bully you continue to protect .

Simple stuff.

I actually find that there are two classes of people who cause maximum trouble on forums. One is of course, the traditional "troll" who wreaks havoc by anti-social behaviour and by deliberately riling up forum members to get kicks out of it, causing havoc and bad blood in the process.

I think as admins, we need to realize that there is another group which I would term as "online bullies" or "internet bullies" who can become equally destructive in undermining communities.

These gentlemen/ladies differ from trolls in the sense that they are not anti-social, but they are an accepted and sometimes well-respected members who assume a sort of informal and unofficial leadership role. They use this position to intimidate and assert their views on newer and less established members and often push their weight around to mark territorial rights. They will generally try and behave properly, but subtly try and behave like moderators and preach about forum behaviour. They will also turn and insult people as they wish and surprisingly other forum members will turn a blind eye to them. They will usually "adopt" ownership of a single forum or a subforum of a board and hang out there frequently with their clan. (this feature is usually more common in larger forums)

These people are often the starting point of cliques because they can gather a group of yes-people around them in no time.

Beware of these people and watch out for them because they can be a lot more trouble in the long run than isolated trolls running loose.

Sometimes you just need an excellent troll to combat an established forum bully

Both trolls and bullies can cause enormous damage to a forum by their behaviour.
Both trolls and bullies usually have excellent communication skills using which they attack their opponents unmercifully.
Both trolls and bullies can be intimidating to any normal forum user.
Both trolls and bullies have the effect of creating bad blood.
Both trolls and bullies are hard to control without intervention right from the top - the forum administrator(s) or owner(s) because even moderators might find it hard to control them without support from others.

Differences

Trolls are usually isolated. They are generally short-lived in a forum. A person who signs up on a forum specifically to troll doesn't hang around in other parts of the forum and leaves as soon as the damage is done.
Bullies are more or less regular forum members who might have a huge post count and a following.
Trolls usually hit and run. A successful troll needs only a couple of posts in a single thread to turn it into a raging tornado.
Bullies stay on and intimidate other members by throwing their weight around and using their group of yes-people to lend force to their powerful attacks.
Trolls are usually identified for what they are.
Bullies rarely get identified for what they are, because they are regular members and nobody can suggest that they are ordinary trolls because they have a huge post count.
Trolls hardly respond to challenges. Instead they enjoy watching others fight.
Bullies enjoy fighting and run around bashing everybody who dares oppose them.
The potential damage done by trolls is limited to a particular topic of discussion or at most a forum.
The potential damage done by bullies is forum-wide and not related to topics, but to the personality of the bully and the kind of respect and influence he wields.

__________________

Well, we got rid of ronbn56...we can only try with the other trolls too. :)I am going to be a good wee troll Dachie...I will continue to post this info on forum bullies just as Lynn does her copied and pasted info (which is available to anyone who uses google to look up latest info on RA... and thats all great) so we are both giving info. Like it or not. I am not using foul language like so many have, I am only insulting those who have insulted me. If Ernie wants to ban me for that..so be it. I dont rely on this forum for information or support. Used to though. In the good old days. ;)

Simple stuff.

ETA: If anyone is wanting to find out any latest information on RA, go to google and type in Rheumatoid Arthritis then click on the news link. Its all there. You can also set your time frame.