I thought that would get your attention
I went to work and was soooooooooo excited. I thought - what the hell - I am usually up at 4 am from ra so I was so glad to get the early shift and have something to do at that time. I was really nervous but I paced myself. One foot in front of the other, one lock at a time (I would never have thought that unlock would be such a stressful word to me) and one gate at a time and one ballard post at a time. ( you have to take those out and they weigh like 20 pounds at least and lift them above your shoulders to lock them in a cage. I have to do like 20 of them. Anyway, I did it I did it. I would just take a deep breath before I did anything, tell myself not to get frustrated, and take my time. No one is out that early for most of my gate openings.
First thing I found out is I CANNOT WEAR the work belt with all of our stuff on it. I just told my boss point blank - I have to lighten my load on my hips. I could not wear all that stuff for two minutes - agony. So I bought a lighter belt and am only carrying radio, phone, and pepper spray on my belt. We don't carry guns. That even hurts but it is way better.
Anyway, the first four hours I was loving life. The last two I was hurting, by the time I got home, I could barely get out of the car. I took painkillers and laid there. Slept a lot and got up to take my Enbrel one day earlier.
Day Two - Excited again about returning to work. Pretty much the same as day before but felt better from Enbrel. BUT - at 9 am I had just finished taking out ballards and opening an entrance - I was leaving and this woman came in through that entrance and was halfway over in my lane. I swerved to the right and hit the gate post. I did a ton of damage to the truck. I called my boss on the radio and he said it was my fault. I should have stopped or known the post was there. He kept looking in my eyes trying to figure out if I was loaded on pain meds - which I was not - anyway - he said I would get written up for it. I said fine w me. You will be surprised w me this year Bob. I don't have a temper, all my fighting energy I am putting into getting well. Whatever you have to do
So that is my story. One more week of part time and then back to full time. Who knows what is going to happen. The good thing about this shift is there is way less law enforcement. Things pick up when it gets hot and I will be getting off at 2:30. Oh, did I tell you. It was pouring rain both days, the first day I had to walk around with my shoelaces tucked in my boots because my hands were too swollen to tie them.
We make do, don't we. So I missed you guys, but did not even open my computer. I am so glad I have a break until next weekend. I am going to try real hard not to stress about when it becomes full time. So for now, I am giving myself a pat on the back.
Now I get to read your posts. Missed you.
Don't worry too much about the full time...just take one day at a time and go from there.
Get lots of rest!
Kelly
So you survived after all huh? Good for you!It's amazing what we can do when we put our minds to it.Hang in there girlie.....you're doing the best you can right now. That's all you can expect from yourself.
Glad you weren't hurt in the accident.
Proud of you Roxy. I can't believe you have to lift 20 lb posts.Hang in there and take it a day at a time. You can only do your best and what this disease lets you do. The rest is out of your hands.Good for you Roxy. Very proud to hear you paced yourself as much as possible. Glad you weren't hurt in the accident. Now rest as much as you can. Hugs and good vibes. Roxy, I had just sat down with my cup of coffee and open up the message board. Saw your post as I was reaching for my coffee, my mouth dropped open and I missed the handle of the mug. It was a full cup of coffee but not now. I have a little puddle on the desk that's slowly edging towards the end of the desktop. Plus the cat is sitting here looking at me with the look on her face that's saying, I didn't do it.