I am scared. I start full time tomorrow and my feet and ankles are so swollen today, I can barely walk. I don't think I can do this job much longer and my heart is breaking. I have to work two full time weeks to get on short term disability again and I don't even know how I am going to get my feet in my hiking boots.
I swore I would never go back on pred. It was SOOOOO hard to get off of. What do you think? How much pred. should I take to get through two weeks. I can't believe I am even saying this but I hurt and we will financially drown if I don't get short term disability until I find other work. I have no idea what work I can do and it won't even come close to making the kind of money I make now. I have been a ranger for 17 years.
All my bragging. What a bunch of bs. I could not be more depressed.
I don't know what else to tell you. I know all of this sucks. Just do what you gotta do to get you through these 2 weeks. Wish I could think of something for you.
Don't give up yet...try the prednisone for a bit.
Keeping my fingers crossed and sending good thoughts your way!
Kelly
I agree. Use it to get through the 2 weeks. Take it one day at a time. I am sorry this is happening. Wish I could think of something to say too.
soak in the tub if you can Roxy and take care hon. xoxox meme
I'll keep you in my prayers Roxy. I know how hard this is on you.
OK You guys. My attitude is much better. I spent the day in bed and the swelling has gone down. I called my rd and told the nurse the story - said I would get a call back - NOT. So what I think I am going to do is go to the clinic I go to when I can't see my regular doctors. I am going to ask for a cortizone shot and see if that helps. Than one foot in front of the other, one lock at a time, one gate at a time and bite my tongue to my supervisor who is being an ass about the whole thing. He said - if you are not well enough to work - you should not be working. He wants me to quit or miss enough work they can fire me
I really do love you guys. I am sorry I had such a bad attitude. I felt so bad this morning, I thought there was no way I could work tomorrow but now I think I can do it.
I also hired a gardener, cheap, I hope he is good but it would sure be nice to see all my flowers hidden by the weeds.
I will check back in as soon as I can. It is amazing, all I do is come home from work and lay down for five hours, grab something small for dinner and go back to bed. What a life !!!!!
Talk to you all soon. LOVE
Roxy, you have a great attitude- go for itHi Again: Roxy, look into the Americans With Disabilities Act. This was legislature that was passed to protect workers with disabilities/chronic illnesses. You can find what you need on the internet. I've had to accomadate employees in the past and if I hadn't I would have been out of compliance with the ADA and if those employees had complained I would have likely been fined and still have had to accomadate their disabilities. If your employer is not complying with the ADA this is a very big deal and should be investigated.I agree with Linda, you need to get some outside help with your boss.
Try contacting this web site. This site describes what kind of accomodations must be made for people with RA. http://www.jan.wvu.edu/portals/state_local.htm
Arizona has an organization with disability advocates which will work on your behalf. Their site is http://www.abil.org.
The other resource to go to is Vocational Rehab. They can help you get either accomodations in your current job or they must help you find another means of making an income. They are required by law to review your case within 30 days.
It is possible that if you go to the JAN (Job Accomodation Network) site, you can simply print out the info for your boss or personnel department. You might also want to confer with a disability lawyer if you can get one to speak to you.
Also try the Patient Advocate at www.patientadvocate.org/. They will actually review your companies policies including the health insurance/disability, etc. and let you know what can and cannot be done.
This also might help: http://www.employmentlawyercolorado.com/articles/disability_ discrimination_article.pdf
I'd definitely go for the prednisone. My doctor has done the higher dose and quickly taper back down several times.
You first must be well. Working is secondary. You push a flare and it can make your really sick and put you in the hospital. There are other resources to help you through this time if you really can't work.
If you get on the prednisone and can work for the two weeks, start looking for what can be done to make working easier for you. I've had to take time off, 9 months once, just a month another time. Since then, I've learned to take a day off when I really think I am hitting a serious flare.
It's a really tough situation, but you sound really tough. The main thing that there are many options. You only have to choose the one that is best for you. Listen to your instincts, your heart and what your body tells you. Then go for it. Everything will fall into place. My heart goes out to you.
hey Roxy-I am working more now and my feet are killling me. I dont want the prednisone either. It really sucks sometimes. I really envy those who dont have to work. It makes it so much more difficult. Good luck girl!
Good Morning Roxy: A BIG THANKS TO DEANNA FOR POSTING THE SITES. I hope that you and some of the other members of this forum find these sites helpful. There is help out there as Deanna said. I had to quit a job that I absolutely loved but I had no choice. If you're single it's much more difficult and a whole set of different problems. If you're married or in a live in relationship then there may be a way for you to quit working and take care of yourself. Look beyond the monetary aspect and concentrate on how it will help you. My salary paid for my new car, a few little extras, and finishing our remodel. When I quit I sold the car, we did without the extras and the remodel was put on hold. I finally did a budget and we were able to adhere to it. Believe it or not we didn't starve.
We ended up not missing my salary as much as we thought we would and I had the time to recuperate from an acute flare of RA that left me homebound and a pulmonary embolism that almost cost me my life. Being sedentary from the severe RA flare caused me to throw a clot. Having less stress helped my RA. Yes, I call it my RA because I own it. It's mine and there's nothing I can do about that. I can't sell it or give it away. So I claim it, own it, and have come to peace with it. It doesn't mean that I like it any better than anyone else but I've accepted the fact that I have this disease and that I will do whatever needs to be done to rid myself of it or it's symptoms. Since it's mine it means that it's up to me to take all of the necessary steps to rid myself of the disease. Other people can help us get thru our flares, meds can help us, our RD can help us, but we have to do everything possible to help ourselves and quitting work might be what you'll have to do to for yourself. Or find a job that's easier on you.
I hope that I don't sound like I'm preaching but I've been through it all in the last 7 years and when you come very close to dying it changes your whole perspective on living an abundant life and living in the moment. For several years I worked with a chronic illness group and did some art therapy with them. Is there a chronic illness group that meets in your area? The participants of that group were so uplifting and courageous. They made my RA look insignificant compared to the health issues they were facing and the mountains that they had climbed. I helped start the group because of their needs and ended up in the healing process myself because of them. You never know where help will come from. It might be in the form of a new pill, someone who is in far worse shape than us, your friends on the forum, but I bet the best help will be when you don't have to look at the weeds and see your first flowers peeking through the winter soil.
I realize that none of this is helping you at the moment but hopefully it will help in the future.
Lindy makes so much sense Roxy. As much as you love being a Ranger I know that you've thought a great deal about this as well recently.
I know the thought of you leaving the job you worked so hard to get is heartbreaking to you.....but is living everyday like this last week something you are looking forward to? The depression and anxiety you are feeling with this work related stress is just as bad as the actual pain and swelling of RA. It's actually making it worse.
You can call as many advocate agencies as you want but when you work in a place that only has several employees on a daily basis and things turn bad that's a done deal. Their unlikely to change their opinions of you and your situation once you start pushing disability discrimination issues. Yeah; they might have to let you keep your job....but you can be certain it's unlikley to be a job you'll want for long.
I don't mean to knock these advocate groups. They are working toward a great cause....but try to think ahead just a little before you jump too quickly. Reconsidering your career choices would be a much better use of your time than being angry at the system because you have RA and are not physically fit enough to continue to be a Park Ranger.
Quite often I have to come straight home and head for the heating pad after working 9 or 10 hours in a day....and I have a desk job!! It's unrealistic to think that you can abuse your body and it not try to teach you a lesson. When you have RA you quickly learn what you can and can not do on a daily basis. At this point you just need to admit it....and more importantly accept it.
Hopefully in two weeks you can again get your short term disability and at that point use the time off to rethink your future. Don't waist that time sitting around hoping you'll be well enough to be like your old self again. The last year surely has shown you that your old life is gone....but that doesn't mean you can't make a wonderful life now. It just means that it's going to have to be a different life.
Only meant in friendship....hope it's taken that way.
Lovie
Hope you got the shot or started pred and are feeling better. Just checking on you. Hugs and good vibes.You are all amazing. Thank you Deanna, Linda, Lovie. I will do some investigation on my days off. I got a cortizone shot this morning. They said it won't kick in until probably tomorrow. I called rd, said it was REALLY IMPORTANT I see him, and I have an appt. tomorrow. I work for a govt. agency, of all employers, they should know the ADA laws. It is time for me to know them. I know Lovie you are just trying to help. What all of you have said makes great sense, but if I quit this job, I am too old to do another ranger job, and what if, what if, I do get better.
This decision is one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. I go to work, I love my job, I am so happy to be there. After eight hours, I am in agony. I keep hoping something is going to make my RA better. For now, let me try to make it through this week. I am going to take a nap, then get up and have a salad and then go back to bed. One foot in front of the other, one day at a time, and of course, I have you.
One day at a time. You've got the right idea.
Supporting you every step of the way,
Lovie
I used to get an IV with prednisolone in it with my Remicade when I was really really bad. Is that an option for you? Sometimes it helps people get through. I tend to have rebound flares after that, so I dont do it anymore... but it does help most people. Just a thought... good luck. Pred is a love/hate relationship I say! I wouldnt be moving much without it, but I sure do hate it too!
GOOD LUCK I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO LOSE A JOB YOU LIKE AND CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. BUT YOUR LIFE, IS MORE IMPORTANT. .
Katt, That sounds amazing. My doc said he won't give me pred pack or injection because I just got cortizone. I just got home from work. I have to be honest, I am in real pain. My rd said he would not prescribe me pain meds. as he was afraid I would work on them. Today I was writing a citation to a scary looking fellow and I called for back up. The cop was an ass. The guy got arrested and the cop told me to go get his pack and bike and throw it in the back of my truck. (THE COPS ARE NOT MY BOSS BUT THEY LOVE TO BOSS PEOPLE AROUND) I said I could not do it by myself, I was on light duty and he would have to help or call another unit. He got all hottie and said "If you are on light duty, you should not be out in the field". JERK. I said to him - If you have a problem with human resources and the park division accomodating my disability - call them. Shut that SOB UP. Today I have to say, is I doubt I make it longer than the 12 more days I need. Too much pain. RD is changing me to Humira. I am exhausted. Write more later. RoxGP just called is calling me in Lortab. My rd said "you don't look good" - I said that is because I am in pain. He said "your blood pressure is high" I said that is because I am in pain. Then he gave me a prescription for relafin and plaquenil - again. He said he wants to exclude all the biologics so he can put me on a new one - not Orencia - another one. UGH. WHAT A LIFE
Deanna, I have been reading up on ADA laws. I feel I can do my job with some accomodations. Back up when there is heavy lifting and the cages I put balliards in have a front opening so I don't have to lift over my painful shoulders. I can open gates and patrol and write tickets. We are not supposed to deal with criminal activities, we call for back up, just park infractions. Who knows what is going to happen but I refuse to put all this pressure on Brett. We cannot afford for me to not have an income right now. Maybe down the road.
I have to say that I think you were awesome with the way you handled that guy today. That took real courage. I believe you will find a way to manage this. Passion can take you a long way on your journey. So can love and it sounds like you love your husband very much. My kids are what drag me through the rough times.
But that was a really great response!