Hi Everyone,
I did not tell my employer about my RA when I took on my job but I have recently been experiencing a severe flare up. Some days I know I should not go to work, because the work I do would strain my joints, but I have trouble coming up with an excuse that isn't the truth so I go in anyway. I know that employers shouldn't ask, but I don't know what to say when they ask me whats wrong. Even though I have a legitimate excuse for a day off work, I feel so guilty about keeping the RA a secret. Any advice?
Can I ask why you feel the need to keep it a secret? Is there someone in your human resources dept. that you can confide in?I guess I just don't want people to look at me differently. I haven't had any problems with ra for the past few years, and my doctor said it was pretty close to remission status. So I felt pretty confident in applying for jobs etc. But now I've had some problems with joints flaring up again and I'm not sure how to go about it. Does everyone with ra tell their employers? Has anyone had any problems with discrimination or any conflict in the workplace?
The Americans with disability act is on your side. Look them up and see what your rights are. If your employer is employing more than 10 people (I think) then they must make allowances for you.
12 years ago I lost my job because of my RA. I didn't know my rights then. Don't keep the RA a secret because missing work or not being able to do your your will result in a bad job review.
Good Luck to you
Go to this web site for more info. on the disability act. By the way its 15 or more employees.
Hi Maxie,No - Don't tell! A recent report was just released to the professional society of occupational tharapists (I think that's the name of the Org). Anyway, the gist of the report was that RA costs employers a great deal of money due to supposed extra time off for "sick" days, Docttors appointments and of course healthcare.
The good news, though, according to the report was that if RA was properly managed employees would be retained longer and not forced to leave the job market.
I know about this report because I had just accepted a new position with a new company and while I was waiting in the HR office to complete my new hire forms - I saw that article on the HR Manager's desk.
Boy - was I lucky! It really is not anyone's business at work as long as you can do the job you were hired to do.
Best Wishes
Hi. I have had trouble with arthritis for a while now, but until a month ago, I didn't have a flare like that before. I never told my employer and did even tell my co-workers that I had any thing wrong. I never complain, and I never missed work when I was feeling bad.
Last month I had a bad flare. People were wondering why I was not my usual self (I have had problems where the people I work with would put most of the work load on me, and then relax and talk to each other while I am still running like mad). I had one person I knew I could confide in. She was the assistant to the boss. When she saw my ankles, and how swollen they were, she went to the boss and they put me on a job where I was sitting down for a week. I had told her not to tell the boss, but she thought it was't right that I should suffer like I was. It helps when you can find someone you can confide in. Like you, I didn't want the boss to know I had this. Would she give me less shifts? Instead, the boss actually came to our department, helped put away charts I couldn't finish, and came over to ask me if I was ok! I was shocked at the reaction. Of couse, in my department, news speads very quickly. Before I knew it everyone knew I had RA... which is not something I wanted some people to know. But, it really takes a load off when your boss knows. I am lucky though. My boss has major health problems of her own... so she knew what I was going through and was very very helpful.
Thanks for all your advice! It seems like it really depends on your employer though and I do not have much confidence in mine. Most people are ignorant about the disease and its implications and I hate explaining it to new people, which is why I haven't told many people about it. It sounds like I have denial doesnt it! My employer is very much focused on performance and working hours, which is why any absences must be explained with very good reasons. I just have trouble trying to explain mine, not that I have had many days off or any at all up until this point. Usually I just have to squeeze in a doctors appointment in working hours, but that is nothing different to anyone else. But now it has gotten to the point where sometimes I know I'm pushing myself too hard simply because I just want to avoid having a discussion or any probing questions from my employer. One the spot queries about my health make me feel very uncomfortable and that could come across the wrong way. I also hate having to explain RA to everyone.I just try to remember it is a good way to educate people about RA and raise awareness about the disease. Only you know if you need to tell your employer, but if you are having problems you should probably take some action.I agree it depends on your boss. But if you don't tell them up front, then they may not have to make any accommodations for you. Kind of a catch 22.
Everyone knows I have it. My boss is really good about time off for doctors and it is a major reason I stay with this job. But part of the reason for that is I am a contractor. So, they are aren't paying the extra expense, my job shop is.
However, today was a big problem. They have a nurse on site. All I wanted to know was if my workstation could be checked to see if it was ergonomically correct because my shoulder is under treatment for RA, bone cyst, bone spur, tendonitis. She was going to give me a minimum of help until she saw my contractor's badge. Then is was all about policy, policy, policy. She treated me like absolute dirt, like I was some kind of subhuman.
I left there and burst into tears. I sent something to my boss about it who has make sure that I get a good work setup even though I am a contractor. But this woman was abrasive and rude.
I get so tired of fighting for being treated like a human being. It is fighting to be treated decently that becomes the most exhausting.
I guess it's fine for me to sit all day in a great deal of pain so that policy can be followed. Even if that is policy, I don't deserve to be treated rudely.
Makes me want to quick working even more.
Oohhh - I've learned to manage and correct my own workstations. I've found that the less attention I draw to myself, the happier and more secure I am.
Like so many of you, I've dealt with extremes - both 'oh you poor thing ... you are sooo brave" to take an aspirin and get over it to my great aunt had a friend who ate/drank ____ (fill in the blank with your favorite off-the-wall food) and it cleared it right up.
Anyway, so sorry to hear that work is adding to the stress of working . . . just remember that your health and well-being are yours to manage - not your bosse's!
As an employer I have to say - if you can do your job I don't need to know - if it starts affecting your work then I need to know something. You could also ask your boss not to tell your coworkers (there is no reason they need to know) and explain why. Good luck with you decision. Hugs and good vibes.My coworkers are not the problem. Actually, mostly they are very supportive. But that is because they have seen me struggle through having to leave and come back a couple of times because I just couldn't work. There is no way I could keep this secret if I wanted to. You just can't explain away months off work, walking with a cane, trips to the emergency room.
But on days like this, it is just too much. I already hurt really bad. You know how it is. It takes every bit of strength to get to the end of the day.
My one redeeming gift is the talents I have writing and designing. I am the most creative in my group and I fill a nice niche that saves the company money. But that work is based on doing work on the computer. That is getting harder and harder to do. I feel like I'm an old race horse that could really run. But now I can barely walk, but the expectation is that I can still run and they keep putting me in the race. If I don't keep going, they'll put me out. But it won't be to some nice pasture. Poverty is what you get with disability, if you can survive until they may give it to you.
I'm sorry. I'm just really discouraged tonight. I need to change the way I make my income. But I do face that terrible dilemna of what to tell a potential employer. I cannot work 40 hours. Sometimes I make it to 35. In my vocation, it is high-paced, high-stress and lots of hours. I don't want to stay in this job much longer because it is an hour commute to and from. It's too hard.
But what boss is going to hire me if they know? And, if I don't tell them, they don't have to accomodate my disability.
Deanna I went through your delema for years. I finally took disability through my job and social security. I am not on or near the poverty level. When I quit working I quit purchasing so many clothes, lunchs, gas, make-up, you know all that stuff we think we must have to work in the public.
I am a writer and I can do this from home and make a bit of extra money, which I am sure you could do as well.
There is more to life than trying to get through one more day of work in agony. Maybe you could do your job at home. You do know stress makes RA worse.
Hang tough and I am sending you a big ole cyber hug.
Judy
Judy,
I tried to go on disability before. My parents convinced me to come live with them while I worked on getting it. They live in another state. As soon as I got there, they took all my stuff and gave it to my siblings. I lost everything I owned. They treated my daughter and myself very badly, making fun of my pain and telling me that I was just there to take care of them. Finally, the treatment got so bad that although I was extremely ill, my daughter and I entered a women's shelter.
I went through nine months of hell and Social Security hadn't even looked at my case. Of course, I didn't know then how important a lawyer was.
I rebuilt my life. But I don't have disability from work and no one to provide support. I have made tons of calls here and there is no assistance available. I am not even assured that I can get on the state medical plan. Here you can only get if you are at poverty level.
My dream is to write from home. My boss will never consent to doing this on a regular basis no matter how many letters my doctor writes. It seems my only option is save up money and then take the jump with whatever clients I can find.
But I did that before and it was wonderful to do, but stressful and took a lot of energy that I don't have now. Besides I worry about missing a deadline because I sick. That will kill your business right there.
Certainly, if I had the base of Social Security income, I could live ok. But you have to survive in order to get it. Disability lawyers won't even talk to me until the day the doctor writes another letter saying I can't work any more.
I feel like a dog chasing my tail. I agree the effort is not worth it. I have no life other than go to work, go to doctors and go home.
I am open to suggestions. I'm so tired of beating my head against the wall.
I appreciate your thoughts.
Deanna
Wow! I am soooooo sorry for what you went through with your parents. Talk about stress. Yes it sounds like you are caught in the middle of a swamp. Wish I had an answer for you. The only other idea I came up with is the state will re-train you for a different job at their espense. Its called re-hab training. I tried it, but as I was training for a different line of work both hips gave out and that put all that to an end. It did make it easy to get my disability however.
God bless and love you
Judy
Judy,
You are so kind to answer me. I did investigate the Vocational Rehab. But they wanted me to take their classes, etc on top of my current work load, which was just impossible for me to do. They also had no idea about the type of work I could do. The woman I dealt with was pretty ignorant and somewhat abrasive. Mostly, they were talking about visual adaptions for the computer, but that's a limited option for me because my eyes are also affected by the RA. I can't wear them out to make it easier on the rest of my body.
Finally, they said to me that I should just go on disability because they felt like I definitely qualified and then try to do PASS after I get it. That put me back to the same situation. You can't pay for your housing or utilities without some kind of income. I've talked to the Disability Advocates here and they said, "oh you must have family." They had no solutions. Oh, I can get a food box once and awhile. I can get my utilities paid for one month out of the year. After I have no income for a least two months (and you can't have any assets like a car or home), I might be qualified for food stamps and medical care and a very limited amount of money. I went through that process to. I nearly starved while I still had both kids at home. I had no choice but to return to work again.
This has to last until Social Security comes through. By daughter got her SSI immediately because she has a mental illness. But it may take years, even with lawyers for people with FM and RA. Plus, you aren't considered disabled if you can do any kind of work and you can't earn any income while you're waiting. If someone knows different, please correct me.
Besides, I don't want stop working completely. I just need to do less of it. Like Roxie, I love the type of work I do. I am a artist and writer. It is very integral to who I am. I just have to find a different way of making an income with it.
Again, I appreciate you caring comments.
I was working with vocational rehabilitation it all depends on your counselor. I had to stop working with them because the RA was causing to many problems. Couldn't walk, had no energy, and had tons of pain. If I can get the RA under control I plan to contact them again to finish my schooling through them.My directors are nurses---and I dont tell most of the people that I work with about the RA. It just depends, I think, on the people that you work with, whether or not it really has any relavence on the job, and how much you think the boss will really understand. I definatly would not disclose that upon new hire. But once you have been somewhere for a while I would just keep it on a need to know basis. Because I work for a staffing agency, I dont tell the staffers because they arent medical and I dont want them to under book me for shifts. The directors and managers that I actually go work for are pretty much the same ones that I work with all of the time and they do know. Mainly because I have stopped taking most 12 hr shifts and I dont work 2 days in a row anymore. There is always so much to consider---for me, if I cant be on the run non-stop for at least 8 hrs at a time, I cant work.
Reading all your replies has really put my problem into perspective. I suppose it really is on a case by case basis, and its very reassuring to hear that others really understand and have gone through similar things.Deanna, I'm so sorry things are so difficult. It sounds like you have been fighting this battle for a long time and it's wearing you down. I hope you can find a way to work at home and feel better.
I have kind of an unusual idea for you to consider. You are a writer, so use your talent and ability to bring the story of an RA patient to the public. Expose the absurdity of our governmental agencies, and educate the public about RA. Many magazines accept free-lance articles. That could be a place to start. If you can get some published articles out there, then you might even be able to sell the idea of a book on the subject to a publisher.
Another idea is to contact Deborah Norville. She is a celebrity spokesperson for RA. Check out this link:
http://www.drdonnica.com/celebrities/00006742.htm
In the past there have been senate hearings on the topic of the epidemic of arthritis that is sweeping the country as baby boomers are aging. Research the members of the House and Senate who were instrumental in pushing for more funding for arthritis research, and try to get them involved on resolving the Catch 22's created by government for RA sufferers, and people with all disabilities.
Hillhoney,
Thank you so much for your post. I have considered this a lot. I meet so many people caught betwist and between. I know I am not the only one, which is part of what makes me so angry. This is a very big problem in our country and it doesn't seem like a real solution is close.
I have some material started and I would very much like to write a book on RA that includes all the different things besides joints that are affected, how to deal with them, what to ask your doctors, coping, exercise, etc. I would also like to write articles.
But I would also like to be active in health care reform where every person has the right to good medical care. So thank you very much for the link. I will check it out.
I did have a wonderful thing happen yesterday. I'm moving into my place and the carpet cleaner came by. He happens to be the owner and asked what I do for a living. When he found out I was a writer/designer, he got excited. When he looked at my portfolio, he got even more excited. Seems he needs someone to do a bunch of work for him on promoting his business which he does exclusively over the Internet. By the time he left, he was talking about maybe eventually making me an employee working from home.
I don't know if this will pan out. But it seems too timely to ignore. Plus, he gave some good ideas about doing business using PayPal, etc.
Thank you for both your compassion and your info.