What a day yesterday. I went to rd. He said he was relieved that I was not doing the ranger job. He does not want me to go back. He said he did not like the PERMANENT in permanent disability. That he has not given up on me getting better but I should not be working now. He said he will not do the disability paperwork but he said when he releases my records, there is a good possibility that I will be approved. He said I needed to go see my primary doctor about disability. He also said - no more water exercise until my sores heal
It just so happened my primary physician had a cancellation so in the afternoon I went to see her. She also did not like the PERMANENT in permanent disability. I told her my short term disability was also gone, she absolutely does not think I should work as a ranger and said she will not release me to do it again
I am so depressed. Today is my interview with SSDI. I have no idea how much money it is but I am so scared and do not feel ready to give up my job. I am really really grieving. It also does not help that I have to stay out of the pool again. I went and bought another pair of water shoes because I am determined to get back in and not get blisters - it is just my feet are so screwed up.
I will let you know what happens on telephone interview. I wish Brett was here. I feel so alone and really worried. I have worked since I was ten years old. This whole thing is making me feel sick
Keep your chin up.
That's great about the weight loss, Roxy! WTG!
Good luck with the interview!
Roxy, I hope it all works out for the best, whatever that may be. I'm not sure I understand your doctors. You can't work. You can't walk. You can't lift. You can't sit. What ARE you supposed to do?Rd said he will send them all his records which will confirm how sick I am. My gp said she will support me going on disability but if I get better, she wants me to go to vocational training. I have only had RA for about 22 months. My gp and rd say they have seen it turn around in three years. In the meantime I need an income and I am losing my dream job, I worked very hard to get.
Just got off the SSDI phone interview. This is such a depressing process My heart goes out to you. I hope some good news comes out of all of this. They're so afraid people will cheat, they turn down people who really need the help. Just one more thing that isn't fair.
Roxy
So sorry to hear of your troubles. You have to try to not get so upset which I know is hard, as that will make your RA worse. It must be tough without BRett. When does he come home? Have you talked to a lawyer about your disability? Good Luck and don't let the BAS----- get the best of you
The rule is if the disability will last for 12 months or more or will result in death. Well, it sounds like you need that time to get it under control.
I do understand why they don't want to make it permanent because they don't want you to become inactive or depressed which would make it worse. But come on, how inactive do they think you are going to be when you have been working as a ranger. They are telling you to stop doing things now. Do they really think you are going to curl up in a ball and stop trying? That is not the impression I get about you at all.
You certainly can try Vocational Rehab or PASS to return to work. But if you and your husband can make it until you get the disability, I would recommend it. The physical stress it will take off of you will be immense and you can really work on getting well. If you use Vocational Rehab or PASS then you don't lose all your benefits immediately. You are given options that help you transition into the work force. If you can't make it then, you can stay on disability.
But look at the current situation and decide what you need to do for the present. The present is the only part you can live in.
I know all of it is a fight and I wish your husband was there. But remember Roxy has moxy and you can get through this.
Oh, one other thing that you might not know. Vocational Rehab can help you find a job now that you can do. They evaluate your condition and try to help you find something you can do. But you have to be careful as they want to do the least amount of effort to get you working. If you go to them, have a clear idea of what you want to pursue. Then, they have to provide you a certain amount of financial support to obtain a new career. This can include schooling and other things. If you follow this route, you don't have to do the disability at all. Something you might want to consider if you have any other unfulfilled dreams.
Whatever happened with your job...I mean did they write you off completely or what? If they fire you, dont they have to pay you some kind of unemployment benefits?
One of the Catch 22s I ran into when I decided to quit trying for disability is that I couldn't get unemployment without proving I could work. That might not be the case in all states. Fortunately, I got my old job back and didn't have to fight that battle. Roxy, My heart goes out to you. When one door closes, another opens.I go to see my job's rd to evaluate my ability to work. I just wanted to get the application process started. It is really going to be an ordeal because I have to apply for both SS and PERS as I have two retirement plans. I also have to buy back some service credit for my PERS. All very confusing. I have no idea what my work is going to offer me. It is looking like I will get just under 00 a month at the end of all this for disability. Too many different retirement plans. Very confusing. I am sending in the form for an estimate on my PERS plan today. I cannot sleep. I can't stop thinking about all this bs. Brett keeps saying and I agree - You really can't do the ranger job right now, you need to accept it. What if I got better? Then I have lost the job anywayI highly suggest getting a disability lawyer to review your paperwork at this point. I had a friend that had both work disability and SS to deal with. She had to have to the lawyer help her get both.
Maybe you won't and all of it will slide into place. But if it is confusing, at least get someone else to look over all the details because this is an emotional issue for you.
If you get better, people will hire you back. Making the decison to go on disability is not necessarily a death sentence on your career or the rest of your life. I've already returned once. But I had to stop working in order to get better. That's kind of where you are right now.
You never know, a year or two on disability, and you may put together a health and exercise program that makes you stronger and healthier than before. Some people are able to do that.
The other thing that I know is that life is never a vaccumm. You can lose everything, absolutely everything --possessions, family, loves-- and life will come back in and fill those empty places until it is overflowing. Then, you start giving to the next person that needs a little help.
When it gets overwhelming, step back and breathe. Write it down on paper, it helps you get a handle on it. Break it into pieces. Walk away from it. Then, come back and you handle whatever part you can and then take a break again. That's how you get through really awful situations.
I wish it was easier.
Thanks Deanna, I have small goals each day to get accomplished. I just panicked yesterday and wanted to get it all done, scared to death of the outcome and wanting to find out. It is so hard for me to keep at ONE DAY AT A TIME. I may go to water exercise this morning. I still have sores but I figure if I put neosporin on right after. It sure would make me feel better mentally.