I have had depression all my life taking medication off an on. Recently Since my last child I have been on ZOloft 100mg it has helped but lately I have been getting depressed over little things that I think shouldn't bother me. Sleeping has increased alot crying also. I think I need more support at home and a husband that would be willing to stay here with me and enjoy it I guess I feel like I am holding my husband back from doing alot of things and he compains that why it bothers me. I think I am just alittle depreesed and need to talk to someone thats not so judgemental. Today I just wanted to give up. How do I tell my husband I need more from him when we are barely together?phx, I understand the depression part. I've dealt with it off and on my whole life. I am currently on Paxil and it does wonders. Some of the fatigue you might be feeling is from the RA. I wish I had advice for you for how to talk to your husband, but I am not in a relationship and haven't been for a while, not since I was diagnosed with this stuff. I am seeing someone a little, and have told him up front what is going on with me, and he seems to be supportive, but then again, this is not a marriage or a long term relationship at the moment. It probably could be but with teenage daughters around with attitudes, it's almost impossible.
phxgirl1,
I do get depressed when I am really flared or exhausted. That certainly is one kind of depression. If I'm not doing well with the RA, then I cry for absolutely no reason, am more irritable, need to sleep, etc. So, first question, is your RA really under control at this time?
My daughter has had depression all her life and watching her go through that has been painful for both of us. They tried her on a number of things, Zoloft, Paxil, Wellubrutin. Now, she is on Celexa. That one seems to help her a lot.
However, she is also bipolar and we did not get that diagnosis until after she turned 21. So, she is on a lot more meds. She also has FM and other medical problems. She has to take a lot of pain killers.
If you feel this bad, then it might be helpful even to go to your regular doctor for an evaluation. But sometimes they only take you as far as Zoloft or Paxil and for some people these medicines just don't do the job because everyone is so different. Talking to your RD might help because they often see depression as a component of RD. Any chronic disease increases your chances of getting it. Sometimes, they can add something that will help that won't mess with all your other meds.
The other option is to see a physicatrist and discuss your symptoms. I know that sounds scary, but they do a much better job than a primary on selecting the right medication for you. And, sometimes, it takes a little trial and error to get the right medication. I cannot take Paxil at all. It makes me very depressed. So, if one thing doesn't work, something else might. And, it can take a bit of time. But once the right thing for you is found, it can change your life.
I do take Notripline which is a mild ant-depressant and Clonapin. That seems to work well for me. They were prescribed by my RD for my FM and restless legs, but I feel like they also help me deal with the RA.
In regards to your husband, try being very specific about what you need. Maybe if you give him something say like "I would love it if you could stay home and watch a movie with me for two hours." Then, let him get out of the house for awhile. He doesn't have to feel guilty because he has done what you asked and neither do you because you've given him a bit of room. Being the person living with RA and depression is also very hard.
However, from the sounds of it you need more support than this. At this point in time, I think it is going to be a learning process for your husband to give you that support. A counselor might help, but that doesn't seem to be your problem. You seem to very clear headed in all your postings. I think you just need friends and family interacting with you, giving you physical and emotional support. You need to add this to what you get from your husband.
I don't have a husband, so I don't have an option of that support. When I was married, I was very isolated from everyone. I had to learn how to build a support system from scratch after I divorced. Now, I have girlfriends that I call on a regular basis. I email friends and family. I journal.
You already do a lot of positive things like getting on here to talk about yourself and also support others. You just need more real life support. What can you do about that? A very open-ended question, but you are the one with the answer. You just might not realize it.
phxgirl1, I've had those same feelings. I think the RA makes us all feel like giving up from time to time, but the med.'s should help take away getting worked up from the little things. Maybe you should talk to your Dr., he may want to switch your meds. I tried several before getting to feel right. Sorry about hubby. Our disease affects those in our lives too, maybe he's just needs some time to come around or perhaps to see that RA is a real disease and how it affects us. Just a thought! Take care.Phxgirl, Are you on pred.? Pred gave me horrible mood swings. I am on prozac. Having a supportive husband makes all the difference in the world. At least you can try to sit him down and tell him that. Good luck. Hi. My family doctor has recommended an antidepressant called Cymbalta for me. It is supposed to treat depression and depression-related pain. It somehow interferes with pain pathways. She gave me samples, but I haven't tried it yet. I'm kind of reluctant to take yet another medication. I already take methotrexate, Relafen and Darvocet. I'm afraid my liver is going to get fried! As for depression, having RA is depressing, no doubt about it, and my husband's not bad, but he's not the most nurturing or sympathetic person either. I get support from friends and other family members. I have a friend who is taking Cymbalta and thinks it helps a lot, so it might be worth asking your doctor about it. Maybe you could get samples to try and see if it helps. Good luck.
No prednisone it make my blood sugars high. My RA came out of remission 6mnths ago. Nothing is helping yet. When I have a good day I usually try to clean the house. SO when I have the bad days theres not much to do with two children though what do I have left for my husband. Yesterday I was having a really good day. He worked got home cleaned the car out and had some beers and then left for poker night. He left at almost 8 and came home almost at three this morning. I even told him that I was upset that we only had one child to watch tonight and he was going to go out. I was having a great day did some laundry cleaned kitchen went grocery shopping only needed afew items but I was able to do things and he wasn't even going to value that time when I was feeling good. I value my good days he doesn't understand that at all I guess. Every day is important to me. I've have always been sick and have adjusted to it this disease has completely taken over my life.
Make one of the charts like they do for kid's at school. You put a smilely face on a good day, and frowny face on a bad day. That's your chart on how your feeling. Then, you tell everyone in the family, even little kids (if they are even old enough for this), that a frowny face means its a day when you need a little more help. A smiley face is a day when you want to have fun.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is that he has to get the most basic concepts down first. Good day - means I need this, I can do this, we can do this. Bad day - means I can't do this, you need to help with this. Those kids are the responsibility of both of you, not just you alone. It is not fair for him to go out all night when you are carrying such a load with this illness and taking care of the kids.
He really needs to grow up and be there for the three of you. Keep trying. You're tough. You wouldn't have come this far if you didn't have what it takes to get to the other side of this situation. Be more stubborn, more frank, more honest.
Most of all , be healthy. You have be there for your kids so you have to take care of yourself.