RA has been such a blow to my self esteem in every way I can imagine. I now have this huge spare tire around my waste. I went from an 8/9 to a 12/14 (I am 5'8") and my fat waist just does not go with my skinny legs and smallish breasts (I love my small breasts lol). I would still feel attractive if it were not for this waist fat. I know it is what is on the inside, but I love feeling attractive for my husband. So no scolding.
I have made an appt. with a plastic surgeon for liposuction consultation next week. It has always been hard for me to lose weight around my waist and I know this is the only way I can get rid of it now that I am not so active. I love clothes. I want to get back into my clothes. RA has done a number on my self esteem and self image. I want to at least look healthy. I was surprised, it is not that expensive. I am just worried they won't let me do it because of my RA. I told Brett. He said "it's your money" and whatever makes you feel good but he doesn't like me spending money now. I just figure, if I am going to do it, do it now before my income is drastically reduced and I would have to ask Brett for it. Besides, I know it would lift my spirits to feel "pretty at 50". I have a very handsome husband - I want to look good for him.
So what do you think. Do you think they will let me do it with RA?
Hmm...I really don't know. I do know that last year I asked my doctor about referring me to a plastic surgeon so that I could talk to him about liposuction. I have lost a lot of weight and had a tummy tuck (that was before RA) but my skin on my legs just needed to be tightened up and have a bit sucked out at the hip area. Anyway...my doctor didn't say anything to me about my meds or the RA. I ended up with an app't with a plastic surgeon, but I didn't go...I decided it wasn't worth it. The health risk I mean. But that is MY thinking...certainly I'm not saying that to anyone about their situation. I mean how can I? I've had plastic surgery done myself. Not sure why I didn't think of the risk before, but it bothers me now...maybe it was because I had the plastic surgery before the RA...and now with the RA and the meds it just kind of scares me.
I will say this though, I'm very happy I had my tummy tuck done. I don't regret that at all. I say do what makes you feel good Roxy. Talk to the doctor and just see what they say about it. See first of all if you can have this done with the meds you're taking, then decide after that if this is something you really want to do.
Seems a drastic method, but I don't know about any of the risks. Maybe some of the nurses on here could tell you something.
It seems Brett really loves you and listens to you. Maybe spend the money on getting to see him. Your presence, in his arms, is going to mean the most to him and will be irreplaceable.
It is so hard to change shapes and it does hurt one's self-esteem, especially if you are used to getting the appraising looks from men. When I first got sick, I was dating a man 10 years younger than me and very handsome. I was at least 50 lbs lighter. I look totally different especially with the moon face.
Being single, I still wonder if I can attract a man. But honestly, I still get one of those looks from time to time and I'm such a flirt when I want to be. I don't have someone right now because I don't want the trouble of a relationship. I'm still getting over the last one (only a couple of months ago).
Being sexy has very little with how you look and more your essence. A few months ago, my upstairs neighbor, much, much younger than me came on the me really strong. He kept saying how sexy I was. I concluded then that he might be a mental case. He truly didn't understand my lack of self-confidence. He even wanted to put my picture up on his myspace.com which he showed me with all these beautiful young women. But he still was attracted to me. I just wasn't interested.
The only thing a perfect body gets you any way is an initial first impression. You are far past that with Brett. And, then the only other people to impress are other women.
It seems risky to put your body under the stress of that procedure. Doesn't it carry some risks of infections? Even if it goes perfect and everything heals right, could it trigger a flare?
If you keep swimming, you might be surprised at losing some weight and you are going to get firmer from it. Go on a shopping trip with a girlfriend you trust and find some really lovely things in the size you are. Do one of those all day spas. Buy new makeup.
One of my very best friends is a heavy woman. And, we have been out to lunch together and men just goggle her. She has this energy about her, wit, charm, intelligence and big, caring heart. Men just eat it up. And she is beautiful. I never think of her as "fat" because she doesn't dress that way or carry herself in that manner.
I'm betting that if any of us met you in person, we wouldn't access your looks as critically as you are right now. Roxy, you are beautiful. It shines here in your kindness to others, what you care about, your love of the outdoors, wanting to make life better.
As far as the health risk goes, I guess it would depend on what meds you are taking. I know your risk of infection is higher while on prednisone and I believe for one year after getting off of prednisone. I have had minor things done like mole removal, but no major surgery. I would just take a list of your meds to the doctor and ask him/her and your rheumatologist what they think as far as the risk is concerned.
As far as how you feel...I am right there with you!! I was going to be in a figure competition this fall as I used to work out a lot, had low body fat and took a lot of pride in the way I looked. Now, absolutely NONE of my clothes fit me (I just had to buy all bigger clothes for the summer), and I have the wonderful prednisone side effects of redistributing bodyfat to my waist, neck and face..yay..lol. Last summer I was prancing around in bikinis and size 2 and 4's. Well...no more of that!!! I was proud to be 34 and looking like I was 25. I feel like so much has changed in 6 months. It's been so hard to deal with. I actually felt a little better after I bought my new clothes...even though they are bigger, I feel better in them and my waist isn't hanging over the sides.
Now that I've gone on and on here...I just wanted you to know you are not alone. I"m not sure what I would do about the surgery. I guess it depends on if I thought I could get rid of it myself after I'm done with the prednisone and found out about the safety of it.
The part that was painful was the drainage tubes that had to come out afterwards. Mine had to be left in a bit longer and boy did they hurt coming out. I can remember when the nurse was taking the one out and once it was out I said "Thank God that's over with,...that really hurt"...she says "Oh...well...there's 3 more to come out".
But other than the fact that it's a bit difficult to stand staight up(you kinda have to walk hunched over) it really wasn't too bad. Now I have a scar from one hip bone to the other. It's not too bad now though..since it's faded. But had I not had this done, I would have had too much skin hanging from my weight loss. Instead, my belly is nice and flat. Now if I could just get something done with my legs
Just had to play the devil's advocate with you some, not meant in a mean way though. If you feel that strongly about it, then I think you should pursue it. You know you and what you need better than anyone else.
You didn't offend me Deanna. It is a big decision - I just wish I could wake up and it would be done - lol. The fear is the worst. I will let you know what happens after consultation. I am so glad you don't regret yours Kel. RoxAll I know is that my butt and legs have always been my problem. I never found anythiny that would fit right even in high school running track I was a size one in waist had to wear size five fir my legs and butt. I don't know about the platic surgery though have you watched extreme makeover seems pretty painful even with pain meds.I would discuss it with your rheumy especially because of your meds. When I was scheduled for surgery mine told me to stop taking Enbrel the week before.
That is my same trouble area. I look great everywhere else. Same thing, even when I was really thin and active, the stomach area. When you say that it isn't as expensive as you thought, what price range? I have thought about the same procedure, for the future.OK you guys. I spent the evening researching it. It will cost me about 00. That may sound like a lot but once the fat cells are removed, you rarely gain weight back there so it is for life. Especially because I really watch what I eat and exercise whenever I can. I have fought my waist my whole life. I was ridiculously active - addicted to exercise - it was how I dealt with things. Anyway, never had a totally flat stomach. I have done tons of stomach exercises but it doesn't go away and when I gain weight - it all goes THERE. Without my belly, I could wear all my wonderful clothes again. It would feel so good. I love dressing - not dressing up but dressing with character. I wear fun clothes.
I know my rd and md are going to try to talk me out of it. I think my rd won't approve period because he just doesn't get it. When I complain about my weight he likes to show me charts that I am in normal range. That is not it. It is how my clothes fit
I talked to Brett this morning and he realized why it would help my self esteem. It is not that I am worried about what people think of me, it is what I think of myself and it would make me happy. I have always had a body that looked good in clothes because I have long legs. I like playing with clothes, especially vintage clothes. It would give me something back that I lost because of ra.
Now I just got to get all the docs to agree to it. I also hope the price does not go up when he finds out I have ra. I will let you know next week when I go see him.
I am excited
I think it would give you a feeling of control right now. That's priceless.
I totally understand what you are saying, and I relate a lot. I am not ready to be bold enough to go do surgery, but it is in my mind on list of things to do when I get balanced on a medication that works for me.I think it is important for us to feel good about ourselves...and even though that should be an easy task, it really can be so difficult. I lost alot of weight about 3 years ago and I still wasnt happy. Before I had kids, I was really tiny. I didnt like the size of my chest, my hair, my nose, it has always been something. I would like to be skinnier. But I also know that a change on the outside isnt always the key to happiness. It is a state of mind. Absolutely if a new wardrobe or a new hairstyle or a flatter tummy helps you get into that state of mind then you should go for it. It is just important not to have too high of expectations for changes on the outside. They are what they are and nothing more. I will bet that you have much more confidence and happiness from the love of your new husband than what you will get from this surgery.
I dont begrudge anyone the chance to try something that they think will make them look better...I dont think there is anything wrong with plastic surgery....I feel the same way about dying your hair a totally different color or any other dramatic change in appearence.
I have been thinking about it alot and doing a lot of research. I feel totally self confident I am doing the right thing. You have to know - I have always had a lot of self respect and maybe too much self esteem. I have lost - like you - so much of what made me feel good pre ra. One thing was putting together funky outfits and wearing them out to the farmer's market or wherever but now no matter what I try on I look DUMPY. I am certain I am not doing this to fix a lack of self confidence inside - it is to give me back something that gave me pleasure pre - ra. I don't have many things I can take back and this is one I might be able to. I am excited You have to know - I have always had a lot of self respect and maybe too much self esteem. I have lost - like you - so much of what made me feel good pre ra. One thing was putting together funky outfits and wearing them out to the farmer's market or wherever but now no matter what I try on I look DUMPY.Trisha
Being significantly underweight, I can't really relate, but it sounds like you are being responsible about your decision. You are looking at all the pros and cons and being realistic about the outcome. You certainly should do it if it will make you happier.