I had to get on here and vent, not about RA. My son just called in tears he is 25. A good friend of his died of a herion OD last night. He was beside himself. He said he told him so many times to not do that stuff and he did'nt listen. It sound cotradictory but he said he was a nice guy who made some bad choices. 48 people have died of a bad batch of herion in Pittsburgh and he was one. My son just lost another friend from high school from herion. He can't understand why they don't realize it's deadly. He is sooooo angry because the police just can't get the people who are doing it. I have been to 6 funerals since last April all in early 20's all from drugs or alcohol accidents. I just don't understand either
My son, about 3 years ago, he's 22 now, had a friend that was murdered at a party. Someone they didn't know showed up and just beat to death their friend James for no apparent reason. He died as they tried to get him to the hospital. All of them were taken in by the police and none of the parents were allowed access until they were released.
It was crushing to these young men. The kid that died was so full of life. I went to the funeral and it was sad. But those young men have all remained the very best of friends. They helped each other through it. They even visited the mother of the boy that was killed, which I know was very hard for them.
That day, they all quit being boys. I will pray for your son because I know how hard this can be. Just be there for him as much as he will allow you. At least, he sees the danger of it. Help him find an outlet for his anger. Maybe there is some community project that helps kids avoid drugs that he could get involved in. It would help give him a positive place for dealing with all this.
We never had to deal with this kind of thing growing up that is so prevalent now. I am just amazed I got mine alive and to adulthood. It is an accomplishment in itself.
My thoughts are with you.
Deanna,
Thanks for the comforting words. My son and I are very close and he has always told me MOST everything , even things I wouldn't have told my parents. I think he feels a bit guilty cause he couldn't do anything to help him. I thank God he can cry as so many boys and men think it isn't manly to cry. I have always told him that is why God gave us tears. He lives with his girlfriend and another guy so at least he has someone there. I told him I would come down if he needs me. He's our only child and I hate to see him hurt. Thanks again Pat
I figured you were very close or you wouldn't have said what you already have. I know my son would say, don't come but would really want me to come and go out to dinner or somewhere where he could talk if he wanted to. I don't know how far you have to travel to see him or how hard that might be on your health.
If you can't go see him, maybe you could send him something he is sentimental about. Such little things can have great importance. No matter what his friend's choices were, what he is missing is the friend. It's been very hard on my kids when bad things have happened to their friends.
I hope you both find comfort.
I'm so sorry for your son's pain Pat. Very tragic.Pat I am so sorry. You and your son will be in my prayers. We lost a nephew to cocain many years ago and the hurt is still there. It is a good thing you have suc an open relationship with your son and that he has a network of friends to help him through this. As a high school teacher I see drug abuse and the aftermath on a regular basis. If any good comes from it, it is that others see the devastation drugs can do and make better choices.Pat, I'm sorry, too. Living near Detroit, it's in the news every day. I think we've had about 90 deaths so far. That is unbelievable. They say that when people hear about it, all they hear is "incredible high," and they want the drug, even though it kills. As one who hates taking any medicine, and so far won't take pain killers (give me time, I know), I just don't get it.Been thinking about you and your son. Here's something I just wrote. I don't know if it will bring you any comfort. It's my hope that it does.
“How can I help you grieve?”
How can I help you grieve?
Do I take your hand or hug you close?
No, I guess I’ll just stand here, awkward and unsure.
I look in your eyes and I feel the edges of tears.
I see the red of those already fallen.
A life was lost
And it was a life part yours.
What comfort can I bring you?
You almost sigh,
But your chest is too tight
Even for that small effort.
Is it dark outside?
I swear it is.
Is that rain I hear,
Or just this crowd gathered here?
In silence we weep.
How can I help you grieve?
I shuffle my feet.
I make the small talk
And say kind words now
That maybe I didn’t know before.
But it is you that I see
And all the pain of this loss
Hits me with a sharpness in my heart.
How can I help you grieve?
--Deanna Lenard
THANK YOU ALL! You're all great and caring people. i just showed my husband your posts as he sometimes wonders what I'm doing on the computer. He thought it was nice that we can write to each other and share each others sorrows.
My son called me a while ago and said his friends mother called him and said that he looked up to my son even though he was 10 years older then him. My son said he didn't know he was shooting it he thought he was snorting it, I didn't know you could do that, but his mom said he had been doing it for some time and she knew it was just a matter of time. My son was crying and still so upset. He also was drinking some and I told him not to as it just makes you more depressed but they don't always listen at 25.
Deanna,
That was a beautiful poem and so thoughtful of you to post it. Did you write it? Thank you.
Kel, Once again your avatar makes me lol. Pat
Pat,
I feel so bad for your son. It is an awful thing. Yes, I wrote the poem today because all that you said just reached in to my heart and grabbed me. I hurt for you and your son. But if he is talking to you, that's a very good thing. He'll bounce back. But truly a sad, sad thing.
Pat I am sorry for your family's loss. I have seen all types of drugs and alcohol take so many of my friends lives. Starting when I was 14, and even now, even though they are married, and have children. It catches up with every user eventually. It is so very tragic.