I was so tired yesterday after trip to occupational specialist that I just could not get on computer. He was a great doctor. He is going to negotiate with my work and ask them to give me a thirty hour work week and keep me in lower park, which is where the picnic areas and playgrounds are, no rock climbing or hard hiking. I am praying they accept it. He seemed like he totally respected me and would fight for me. He understood ra, could see my damage and respected the fact I was exercising and trying. I worried for so long over this doctor visit. See how stupid worry is .......... What a waste. I had several "meltdowns" that worried Brett. Me getting in a negative mood and thinking everything was going to be worse case scenario. What a waste of my body and energy. I am learning.
I lost two of my cats in two weeks time. I don't know if they were poisoned or a dog killed them. I have been so sad over it. I have been checking for them at the humane society but I am sure they are dead now. SO WHAT DO I DO ?????? Got me another kitten. This one I am going to try to keep in the house. He is all gray and looks like a little bear. I am naming him Teddy.
Speaking of my babies. Brett is coming home in 2 weeks and 2 days.
My doctor upped my prozac. I was having a hard time for a couple weeks so hopefully I don't get so down. I just miss Brett and working.
Now to catch up on you guys and see how you are all doing. I hope just GREAT
On a much happier note, I would get a kitten if you think that will help. It is always nice to have a friend around. I was thinking the same thing, but I am moving soon. Plus, I am back living at home, and my folks don't allow pets in their house.
LOL This is my second RA kitten. They really do put a smile on your face when you don't think you are capable of smiling. They can also break your heart when you lose them but when I was at the pound and saw all those caged animals I thought - better to take a chance and have freedom living with me than be in a cage. I would rather be free for a day than caged.
When is your guy coming back Dar? If we move to Klamath Falls, I will get to spend a lot more time with my sweetheart. What bliss that will be.
My sweetie lives in the US, so I will be near him in a years time.... but we do travel back and forth to visit. I chose to go to a univeristy that is close to him. So,that will be a lot easier for the both of us. I was planning on going to school in Florida (that way I would be able to live in my parent's winter home and not have to pay for room and board),but now I am leaning more towards Virginia and trying to make a life for myself there. Still, it is not easy when you are apart. Lonely actually.
Since you have had cats, I wanted to ask.... it is hard to train them to go in the cat litter? When I get one, it will be my first cat. I had a dog growing up, but he was an outside dog. Never liked being inside the house.
Roxy,
That sounds like great news about your doctor. Now, how does one find an occupational therapist. I've looked out here and I think they are living under our desert rocks. I keep thinking that one might figure out a way for me to keep working. Well, they do have solutions, like the voice recognition software. But I have that and it takes forever to train. It is not something I could do in my profession, only at home. I have a tape recorder for it as well.
But if they could figure out a way to work and take the strain off my shoulders. I've come to realize that I use my left hand more in my work that my right. The right is mostly for mouse movements. All my commands are done with my left. Maybe if I switched them--you think. Or maybe, I am just fooling myself. My eyes also have problems, sometimes really bad. And, my hands are starting to act up again. I got where I couldn't type with them before.
Ooooh!!! see it's natural to worry. I'm doing it right now.
I'm so sorry you lost your cats. The new one sounds adorable.
Man, it's almost no time until you see Brett again. Please leave the man entact. Your overwhelming joy might just kill him. And, he cooks, too? Ah, I am jealous but very happy for you.
I think your plan to move is most excellent.
Dar - Cats go in a cat box quite naturally. The like burying their poop so just put them in there and they will go back.
Deanna, I saw an occupational specialist. That is a specialist that determines if you are able to do a job. An occupational therapist is way possible for you. Just have your rd refer you. My rd wanted me to go to one but I have not wanted to give up on the ranger job and I CANNOT sit for long. Major pain. By the way, maybe you should get your Masters. You could get school loans. When we move to Klamath I am going to apply for a job teaching at the college there. I have so much experience in my field and I have worked with college students so often, I would really enjoy it. I have a Masters and teaching credential but the little ones - NO WAY. It is never too late to go back to school my friend.
I would really like to get a masters in history and politics. I am mentally burnt out on art.
Do you think I could financing that I could live on while I went to school? I know younger people do. It's been such a long time since I did school, but I absolutely loved it.
I know you can Deanna. I didn't start college until I was 30. There are plenty of grants out there and you can apply for scholarships. I got tons of scholarships. All you have to do is get good grades and be a good writer. No problem for you. Also, low income people get tuition breaks. I know you can Deanna. I am doing that. There is no way I will be able to afford university and living without the loans. I am 33. I have four years ahead of me for my nuclear medicine. Maybe less if they give me credit for courses I took when I earned my B.A. a while back. I love school and I have finally found something I think I will love doing... which hasn't been my experience with the work I doing right now.I know it seems like I am being impossible about this. But this is a very hard time of decision for me and thinking on my own about it is getting me nowhere.
Here are some thoughts. Please jump in with comments as I don't know what I want to do at this point.
Regarding getting a Masters, I'll be 49 in July. I'm not worried about the mental challenges of school as it's obvious I like learning, etc. But what would I do after getting a master's? Teach. I cannot do full time teaching, on campus teaching. I don't have the physical stamina for that.
I guess a masters would give me better credentials when writing books and articles. Then, possibly online teaching.
If I could get scholarships or grants that also helped with living expenses, that might be worth it. But I absolutely cannot do loans. I cannot possibly pay them back.
Also, are you able to get any kind of medical as a student? I can't work and go to school. And, I can't live with out the medicines and docs. That's just a fact of life now.
And, how do I find these scholarships, etc?
Also, what else could I get a master's in that would bring me employment that I could do with my continuing limitations?
Now, here's the other side of the coin. I really feel like I am doing damage by trying to continue to work. When I crash, my heart and lungs are always involved. I already need two knee replacements and my shoulders are not going to probably support those when the time comes. I am already on a no lift, nothing over the head, reduced hours, work at home. It is obvious that I cannot keep doing what I'm doing and if I keep pushing it, I could bring myself to the point of not being able to care for myself.
I talked to my girlfriend who has CFS and FM and has work disability but is still trying for SS. Formerly, she was an occupational therapist. Because of my eye involvement, hand, shoulder, knee and hip, she believes that I am more disabled than she is. There isn't probably adaptive technologies that are going to keep me working. They might help me function on a personal level, but not at a normal work pace.
Please throw the ideas out there. I am looking into them.
Ms. Deanna, You would enjoy getting your Masters and it would get you by until you got disability. Then you can write !You are being very strict with me. Yes, I have wanted to get a Masters for a long time. And, after you pass that magical age of 50, SS is much easier to get.
So tell me about finding these scholarships.
Okay, this is just too funny to not pass on. I did a search on "scholarships masters az" and this is the first link that came up. What are they trying to tell me? I'm not kidding. This was first one.
Minnesota's List of Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender Scholarships