Just kidding. They didn't find one yet. But I was looking for some new parts for myself and was wondering what parts you'd like to replace.
For me, knees, hip, shoulders, wrists, rib cage, ankles, moon face. Yes, that would be could for starts.
I'll have 2 new hands & wrist, 2 new knees, and a spare brain for occassional use please and could I have it shipped next day delivery!I'll take 2 new hands, 2 new wrists and two new feet.
I wouldn't mind getting some perkier boobs either
I could go on and on lol!
jode
Dear potential customers,
I'm sorry we don't do next day delivery as these are prime parts stolen from an underground non-governmental agency (or so they say). Plus, these parts require refrigeration and have to go through endless security checks (can anyone say injectables). Then, you, of course will have to apply for an extra rider for your insurance to cover this. It's rather expensive, but well worth a new, functional body part. However, you also have the hurdle of getting ten doctors to agree that you need the new body part. And, we will need this in writing. You should be forewarned that most doctor's offices charge substantial fee for this. Seems everyone wants their pound of flesh.
Sigh... I know it sounds hopeless. But there are many satisfied customers (at least among the living and we don't count the dead).
Now, if I could just get your most personal information, your bank account numbers, credit card, complete family history for 12 generations, we can get you started on your order immediately.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. Darn, lost another one to Ditech.
Hey Deanna, that darn Ditech will get you every time.
Actually, I would like to order some new parts. Top priority is hands. A close second is neck & knees. When you find the parts I'll send you mailing info & personal info, like bank acct. numbers, whatever is needed. However, I do have one question. Will the parts be coming from Constantinople?
Have a great day to all! Trisha I could use the new boobs to go with the rest of the new body. I need some new knees and hips to shake my groove thing, (Can't teach my students dance for the next 4 weeks due to this flare). The next thing to be replaced would be my hands and wrists...need those to hold up all the new BLING BLING my new boobs would bring! LOL
Now of course you know I am kidding right. Well at least about the BLing Bling! LOL
However, we have run into a couple of snags. We still cannot find Constaninople which had been our main supply line for body parts. (And, yes now, the plot thickens.) The second snag is that you will each have to fill out the attached 50 page request form from your insurance companies. Unfortunately, this is the longest part of the process. I have heard of some orders being stalled for years. But do not give up hope. We are determined to market new body parts as we can clearly see that there is a definite interest -- especially for boobs. This I find strange as these are not usually directly affect by RA. I also find it strange that no men have requested them. Sincerely, Dr. Deanna Frankenstein Dear Doctor Frankenstein, If you will check on the board you will see where Roxy posted a website to go to. I think that if you can get in touch with the young man on there, all your problems for inventory will be solved. Now if you find that this will work for you, I think that I should have a nice discount. Trisha
OK....I am also putting in for new feet, toes and my fingernails keep cracking and splitting so I will need to add these to my list as well. I have laughed and laughed...the following made me chuckle out loud..... "However, you also have the hurdle of getting ten doctors to agree that you need the new body part. And, we will need this in writing. " Tooo funny! Hmm hadn't thought that boobs are not really effected by the RA....but I am gonna say they are! I mean if you get replacements on everything else for under a billion dollars,( this will all cost under a billion dollars right?) then the boobs should be thrown in......anyone agree? I would like to add a new stomach lining while I am thinking about it to settle the ulcers I had and get rid of having to take the meds for that, would really enjoy eating "MEXICAN FOODS, Spicy ITALIAN foods and the like again. A Pizza with sausage.......an Expresso, strong one! Requesting the "New Body Parts" sign up sheet: I am requesting the 50 page sign up sheet for new body parts. I would also like to know how many days I will have to complete the form/s, and yep, I will be the one idiot to ask if my dusty old copy of my SSI application will be sufficient information or if I must completely fill out the one you provide? Oh and do you provide or is there a fee for this? I am laughing so hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is a good one Deanna. Thanks for the laughs all
Ok I got this figured out, boobs are effected by RA...here is why: Collagen ladies, collagen. With RA you do not have it or very little of it, collagen keeps the skin nice and fluffed and taught. For those with the "boob droop" ( yes even at 30 or 40 and beyond)it can be attributed to lack of collagen due from the RA............how's that? It is all in the skin people..........it is all in the skin...so I want new skin too. *I hate RA so much* jode Your resonse has been overwhelming and I thought I might provide an update on the general process. It is a 50 page application. It has such questions like, "Are you ever in pain? On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain? Do you think your doctor is sexy? Have you had your head examined? But you only have four days to complete it. But the first one in, gets one part free. Such a deal! There are also questions we have regarding the exact size of the part(s) you are requesting. We, of course, will try to get a match to your current skin color, but however, we can offer no guarantees. We match all requests to your Social Security number (we have to have that for our business needs - oh, I mean identification purposes). Yes, this will cost slightly under a billion dollars. But I swear I am donating 5% to the Arthritis Foundation and another 5% to this forum (hey, we can have a party!). In order to attach the parts (once I've located them again. I can't believe I misplaced them. Some frog in a dirty pond on the way to Constantnople seems to have taken off with them.) Oh, yes. I got side tracked. In order to attach the parts, you will have to go off your medications for two years. (This works well for me, of course. You'll need more parts by then. I love this business. Oh, I wasn't supposed to write that. Oh, well, I really live in Nigeria and we are experts at doing scams, I mean collecting body parts. No worries! No worries! I'll get you good body parts. They've all been used before. Oh, and your age. You must divulge your true age. I can't be putting baby parts on oldy bodies. Please feel free to contact me with more questions, Dr. Deanna Frankenstein p.s. Trisha, we will give you a one-time 10% discount of your first order with us for suggesting such an excellent source of body parts. (The morgue really stinks.) We believe this is a truly generous offer.
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