I'm not working. On Tuesday night, it was a bad night. All they did was these big ortho cases. I had so much to do and everything was heavy. I had no help as there was too much to do on the clean side. Yes, I was the one on the dirty side. At the end of the shift, I came out of the dirty side and I was dripping in sweat. My feet and knees were hurting. One of my co-workers looked at me and ask if I was allright. I was very pale. I could hardly walk to the locker room to change out of my scrubs. It took me several mins. to change. As I half walked/ dragged myself to the car, I kept telling myself, "one more step closer to the car."
When I got home, I had a hard time walking up the driveway. I had to hang on to the building. Couldn't call my roomie to help me as my cell phone had died.
The next morning when I went to get up, I was so tired and my shoulder was hurting. Had a hard time getting into the shower and it was even worst getting out.
So here I sit, feeling like s--t! I'm having a hard time typing as my shoulder is hurting like hell.
I go to the workman's doc tomorrow and I'm going to give them a darn ear full. I can't handle this job!!! God knows how hard I try. But at what price do you say enough!!! I'm tired of trying to keep everything afloat and of being the strong one. I can't do this any more!!!
MarisaI’m sorry. I know how you feel. Don't give up. Everyday can be different.Oh god, you sound just like me--holding it together, being the one to keep going even though you don't want to! I volunteer as the food coordinator for our communities Relay for Life. I spend months talking with restaurants to get them to donate food and it all culminates tomorrow when everything has to go as planned. So much food needs to be carted here to there, so much cleaning and lifting--last year I survived by living on darvocet. This year my 42 year old body is worse. I know when i'm reaching my breaking point when my hands start hurting --soon all the joints start in--today is the day before the big event and i feel like poop! i'm stressed that things won't go right and everyone will blame me and my husband says it's not going to matter in the big picture, but damnit--it does matter! i've worked hard on it and it makes me mad that my body is betraying me!! it's hard for regular people--let alone people whose immune system is attacking itself! i just pray for strength for the next two days (it's an 18 hour all night event). This year, i've got vicodin and skelaxin to help me, but the vicodin also gives me the biggest headache!! UGH!! just needed to get this all off my chest!
Marisa, you just can't keep doing a job that hard. I am doing a job at the computer with no lifting, not standing, just sitting and using the computer. RA does steal capabilities away.
Working under those circumstances is more than you should be expected to do as a human being. I don't care what any "official" or even a person on the street tells you. Life is not supposed to be that cruel. And that is what it is, cruelty.
Sometimes, you have to give up one dream for another. I have learned to dream a lot of dreams in my life. I am where you are at with working. But, some pushy people, like Roxy, suggested that maybe I should consider getting a master's.
I'm really thinking about that. I am looking into a master's degree in public policy. I want to change things. I want to focus on disability and healthcare. Imagine what my motivations might be.
I've only started looking, but I'm kind of excited about it. I just have to find the funding and the school I want to go to. But I feel good about looking in this direction. If I can't do this, then I will have to go on disability.
By the way, my boss is slowly trying to accomodate me more. She is shocking us all with that. So, maybe they will accomodate you. They would rather do that than pay you workman's comp.
Stand firm in the fact that you cannot do this level of exertion every day. This is where you are strong, in your determination to get what you need. Your body may fail you, but your spirit can survive unbelievable trials.
Marisa, Oh how I feel for you!! I'm so
I worked in the medical field too, I agree with crunchy, your expected to go, go, go until you finally drop. As long as you get the work done they don't care.
Hope things get better for you soon!
Marisa, hospitals are the worst. Marisa, I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time. Is there any posibility you could do a reduced workload? It sounds like you are doing too much. Thanks guys but as of right now, I'm out of work for 6 weeks. Took the slip into my boss and told them that I wasn't coming back for 6 weeks. My boss couldn't believe how well I had done until that terrible night.
The workman's docs are sending me to this intense physical therapy place to build up the strength in my shoulder and wrist. They aren't please about the fact that I've had this set back. I'm determine to get back some of what I've lost. After going through the therapy, they are going to send me back to work to see if I can do it. If I can't then they are talking about permanent disability.
Most of my meds have been changed and I'm now on mtx w/ folic acid, altram (think I spelled it right, for pain) and my gout med. They took me off the naids as it wasn't helping. Plus I have this lovely smelling stuff called Biofreze to put on me. Will keep you guys posted on how I'm doing.
The one thing that I'm going to do is go to the movies to see "The Lake House".
Marisa
Hey, funny you mentioned Biofreeze. One of the nurses that I work with is young, slender, otherwise healty girl, but for some reason she has had multiple problems with her knees. Surgeries and therapy, meds etc. One thing she says that does help is biofreeze!
Maybe it is time for you to move on to one of the biologics? I hope this therapy works for you!
What is Biofreeze? Biofreeze is this stuff that comes in a roll on or gel form. It's like Bengay or icey hot. It's menthol. When you first put it on, the smell will clear out your sinuses and with me, I got sleepy. It dulls the pain and your clothes don't smell like Biofreeze. I got mine from my workman's comp. doc.