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My sweetheart hubbby came back who can't help But be a sweetheart.  Problem is - he don't get it.  I have been so weak and sick.  I think my whole body is fighting off this vaginal infection.  Can barely function.  I can tell he does not know what to do living with me after living with all his tough RR peers.  We just found out he does not have work for at least a month.  He got all kinds of overtime and we spent it, mainly on help for me.  THIS SUCKS.  I feel like I need to do this move with or without Brett.  I can't work here and the cost of living is high.  At least there, I can turn the place back into a Bed and Breakfast if I get desperate.  So confused.  I missed him so bad BUT  it feels like we are tip toeing around each other.  He is very worried over buying a house after he has been informed that his machine is not needed until "something comes up" and I am very definite that I cannot work full time.  I am sick more often than well and I know that is a fact.  My daughter comes home on Monday for good and we move to new house Aug. 15.  I have felt spiritually compelled.  Pray that my intuition is right.  Scary times when you don't feel well and your partner is obviously concerned.  Rox

Roxy, don't panic, not really. All the pieces are there, they are just a bit scattered. First, you and Brett love each other. That is so precious, hang on to it. Men don't do well with not working. And, they often feel helpless when their wives or children are ill.

Sure, he can work along the big strong men. He's tough, indestructible. But all of this probably makes him feel weak and scared. He doesn't want to lose the Roxy he feel in love with. You two have to talk about how you are feeling.

You are partners in life and you can get through this together. Remember how hard it was on you both apart. Long separations make it tough. But be determined.

You are going to get better once you get SS filed and you get moved to this new place. It is a lot to take on at once, an awful lot especially with Kelsey and his son coming home too. But that makes four people working on problems. Even Kelsey can do somethings.

Sometimes I think of times like this in my life as running the rapids. I know for sure that God is taking me somewhere. But it is all going so fast and looks so dangerous. Yet, He brings me through those rough waters and it's absolutely gorgeous on the other side.

That's where you are, about to run the rapids. Get Brett and the dogs, load up your boat and go for it. I just know you are on the right track.

Oh, and feel free to give my advice back at me. You know I have my own rapids to run.

Hi Roxy.... My very best to you. Please listen to Deanna. After reading her advice to you I can tell you this, her advice is absolutely right & so beautifully said.  

Things will work out for your family. Have faith.

Thinking of you, Trisha

trishasea38911.4341319444Roxy, of course you're tiptoeing around one another. You've barely been together for the past how long? We went through this, too. My hubby was gone for most of 2 1/2 years. We started watching different TV shows, we had different schedules, different responsibilities. It took a while once we were back together again to get into synch. As with you, it involved a move & a very different life.

Give yourself some time. Talk it out. Don't let things fester. You have really good reasons why you want to make this move, but it's a HUGE commitment.

As for the job - can Brett do some temp. work? Just something to bring in some cash until his next job? You'd probably both feel better if he could do that. It was one more thing than you needed to have happen, but there are so many things we don't control - we only control what we do about them.


Hey Roxy! Sorry things are so stressfull right now. The best thing you can do is talk to Brett about what his expectations are in all of this ( the move to the new house ) and what your feelings are on it. Acknowledging his concerns and your willingness to help him problem solve could ease his fears. Some people tend to panic when they are about to make a big change in life.
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