Been working on SSDI. I realized I do not have to emphasize or exaggerate anything. I have definitely beem sick way more often than functional. I don't care as much about SSDI as I do that my family can accept this illness. I am barely able to deal with it. If I am dealing with it, I am proud, you should be too.
It's got to be hard on Brett because you have been apart. Somehow, it's easier to be supportive on the phone than it is face-to-face. Tell him you realize that this is hard on him as well.
But it's about a partnership. If he had a heart attack or something, you'd be right there for him. Sometimes, you have to tell people exactly what you need them to do and even how you want them to react. They are a bit lost. Some people were never taught how to take care of others. Some have never experienced being weak.
So, take him by the hand and teach him what you need and listen to his fears. You have acknowledge fears before they can be overcome.
It's going to get better.
Roxy, it sounds like you need to find your inner strength again too...you knew that Bretts comming home was not going to be the end of your RA problems, but somehow I get that you have had a let down anyways. Remember we had talked about this a few weeks before his return. Sometimes we let ourselves put unrealistic expectations on a particular event, even though we know we shouldnt....the heart can be stronger than the head at that can get us into trouble. You need to reach down inside of yourself and find that strong person that went into hiding. Brett can only do so much for you emotionally...the real power has to come from within you. It is hard when the RA....the body...is unrelenting in its fight to get you down but you have to get mad again. Get pissed off and stand up and fight! I know you are a tough girl...you can shake this weariness off! I believe in you!
Love CrunchyI'm thinking about you, Rox. Wish there was something real we could do for you. You know it will pass, in time. It's getting from here to there that is so hard.
I have to report - all is well at the home front. You were right - it just took some adjusting. Brett likes to meditate one hour every day and he wasn't doing it because I am home so much and he felt like he needed to be available to me. Now he is meditating every morning and he is so much more nurturing and calm to be around. I envy his ability to meditate. Today I did 30 min. gentle water yoga and tonight for the first time since Brett has come home, I went on our evening walk with him. This is a tradition for us but my flares get in the way. Long story short, today I am feeling better than these last two horrible weeks. I am so excited about our new house. Ordered boxes today. I think I am actually going to enjoy packing. I can't wait for the appraisal on the house. That is one hitch we have to get passed in escrow. Kelsey comes home day after tomorrow. Can you believe it???? I can't wait to take Brett and Kels up to see the house So glad you had a much better day. I expect to hear more of this wonderful news.Very happy to hear things are getting better for you Roxy!!
Yea! Roxy's back!!!
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