Can you believe it. Am I crazy or what. I sign the papers Tues. and I own the house. Brett is not even on the contract
Susan
Roxy, are you sure about this? If you're counting on Brett's money from the sale of his house to pay for it, shouldn't his name be on the deed & the loan papers?Roxy, Well I am saying whoopie!! for you! I know how very much this means to you.
It may have some small
Just be careful and don't hurt yourself overdoing things, okay? That's my main worry for you. I believe in following your heart and trying your best to make your dreams come true.
It's been hard to believe in dreams for me lately, because of pain, and waiting for test results to see what can be done. But I still believe, really. At least for you, right now, I do!
Hold on to your faith and dreams. Gentle hugs,
Nini
Roxy, It's good that you're feeling better. Just wondering if it would be a good idea to have both names on the deed and loan papers.We got a better loan with my name on the papers only. I have always made more money than Brett and I have better credit. We will change the deed soon
As far as being depressed lately -
Yesterday it really set in. My doctor wants me to go to Stanford, six hour drive. She believes I have another auto immune disease that I need "experts" to help identify. The Enbrel and stress is giving me infection after infection. I have difficulty standing AND sitting. It SUX. Once we get settled, I can go to specialists at Stanford or Portland.
My Kelsey has been an angel but I admit, her incontinence is getting on my nerves. Tough when you don't feel good. I don't blame her or say anything to her, but it gets me down. Kelsey has agreed to wear depends - shhhh - our secret.
My husband not working right now has me worried as we need the money moving and having difficulty finding a lender as I am not working, the house has a buried oil tank, two kitchens - all things they don't like to lend on. We put Brett's place on the market which would solve most of our problems but market is slow. We got the loan AND lowered the price for Brett's property 10K below market.
The house is crowded. My poor girl is sleeping on the floor in the office. With her incontinence, I don't want her on the couches. The entire house is only 900 Sq. ft. so it is crowded. House we are moving to is well over 2000 square feet, 3 story for privacy.
THERE. Now I vented. That is why I have not been posting much. Tough week. I am sure it will get better. This week has just been a tough one
I did find your comment that Roxy might be maniac depressive out of line. She's right. Even if you were a professional who could diagnosis her, you wouldn't do it over a public forum like this.
Also, maybe you don't have highs and lows from being so sick with this disease. But those of us who are very ill will be down when our bodies are in so much pain and even the simplest tasks have suddenly become overwhelming. Then, when we get really good news, or our bodies feel good even for a single day, we really learn to celebrate.
Roxy is trying to build something here and it is complicated. But I believe that she can do it. Some people live complicated lives. I'm one of those kind of people. Also, Roxy does not want her daughter to remain in the hell hole of psych ward. She wants her step son to have a real home. And, she wants to be with her husband who is burned out from the type of work he does.
All this points to a genuine, caring person that in spite of her own illness is still reaching for the stars.
I want to support her in those efforts. I think she can do this. It's not going to easy and she knows that. But she gave up the dream, one that she really loved if being a park ranger. She's bounced back from this devastating situation. Now, she has dreamed a new dream, to create a home and an environment where the people she most loves have an opportunity to be happy and to be together.
All the paperwork will fall into place. Things will get moved. She'll get to the doctors she needs. She'll be in a better position to get Kelsey help and a real life. She's making a home for a son that's been passed around a lot. And, she's the love of a man who wants to be with her even with all this going on.
I think you are an incredible woman, Roxy. Don't get discouraged. Remember, I said that you were on the rapids of change right now and that you just have to hang on for dear life. The calm waters are right around the bend.
There are people in life who always take the safe path. But that has never been you Roxy. You're the woman that used to go out in the wilderness just to take the path no one else had seen.
That spirit of adventure still lives in you.
I've lived with a bipolar daughter and had a bipolar boyfriend. I don't see any of that in you.
Susan, I find your comment judgemental and not helpful. Maybe you should think a bit before you make that kind of comment again.
Thanks Deanna. I am thick skinned. The beauty of these forums is they are an outlet for good days and bad. I have learned people are quick to be critical but it does not discourage me from using a medium that allows me to interact with understanding people who are dealing with some of the same things as I am. I have never done things conservatively but I have lived a good life. You and I have a lot in common. I knew you would understand. I love AI because I get to know people like you and so many other friends I have here. This whole manic/depressive *bipolar* crap is just that. There are truly ppl out there with this disease, and I feel for them. I couldn't imagine living with that.rejoice in the happiness if the day brings you joy
mourn in the tragedy if the day brings you sadness
share both happiness and tragedy with friends and family, so that they may rejoice or mourn with you!!! :)
I love this Teri. Thanks.
Right on Deanna. Even tho I do not know Roxy in depth the way you do,(via phone calls) I have followed her thru thick and thin and she is a remarkable woman. I remember when she posted her wedding pics, pics of her dogs and Kelsey and scenes of Bretts place. She has opened her whole life up to us in a very honest way.Hi Roxy!
I do not know you well; yet, I have been trying to read all you write and am trying to get to know and to understand your life story! Thus far, I am so very impressed with your compassion and your determination despite all of the obstacles thrown your way! (Although it matters not that I am impressed. It is not important that you impress me.) Simply going through the process of finding a house, the financing, making the deal work , etc. can be so stressful and a cause of significant fatigue and "bottoming out!" Then..there are all of the other things you have been trying to "pull together." As far as I can see.... you are doing it all with heartfelt love, compassion and great fortitude! It is all truly amazing! To get the "word," finally, that you have your fianancing and your arduous efforts toward that goal has paid off... is a fantastic reason to celebrete, to feel excited, to feel blessed, to give a hoot and a jig or two!
We all have days we feel like we are dying...and maybe even sometimes we think we'd rather.
Others, with different personalities and/or different attitudes may never (or rarely) be able to celebrate, to be excited, etc. I would guess Roxy , despite her illness, is highly motivated by "love." We are all motivated by different things. Without illness, Roxy, I would guess, would be inclined to be a happy person! She would celebrate her joys AND everyone else's! Some people are highly motivated by "fear." These individuals cannot take a chance, cannot take the risk of reaching for their dreams: therefore, their lives ,although safe, are less celebratory in "nature." They never " throw caution to the wind." My personality, when not in agony and fatigued beyond comprehension is very different. If I am doing better, I am gregarious, full of compassion and love (and can actually show this by helping others), I have dreams and ideas, nobody can stop me from doing what I feel is very important in life. I 'll go places others fear to go. I'll challenge whatever I must in order to make life better for as many as I can, etc. I can relate to many of the wonderful attributes shown by Roxy. I am joyous and love people and... reach out to them and want to celebrate life, just as soon as I can "get up!" I, too, want to live life to it's fullest. So... I do my best to "go get 'em" even full of pain and on morphine, etc.! I am not a person suffering from bipolar illness. I truly doubt Roxy is, either! (Her credit record is way too stable!) Yet, besides that, there is truly no indication that she is suffering from bipolar illness. ( I have a degree in clinical psychology and have worked as a treatment team leader at inpatient psychiatic hopsitals. I am also a trained "psychiatric emergency clinician.") I do not know Susan, either. I can tell you that Susan's remarks in response to Roxy's celebratory news was rude. Some people operate out of "fear." This limits their rewards in life. This makes some envious and angry. Roxy, as she has demonstrated, has a personality and a heart too big to allow that to stop her celebration. Roxy may be hurt by a rude remark. Yet, she will keep her eye on the prize, the one she has taken all kinds of "risks" for!
Susan, I hope you can find it in your heart to apologize...this would greatly assist with the healing of the many feelings you have had and also the healing of the impact your words have had upon Roxy and upon anyone who has read them. (I truly believe you are sorry. I hope you choose to express that!) We all make mistakes or errors in judgment at one time or another.
Thanks so much for sharing this marvelous news! We need to see our friends succeed! Inner peace and abundant joy to every single person!
Three Cheers for our "ROXY"
That Deanna is sure a sweet girl. We are so lucky to have her. I know this coming week will good for you. I do think that Susan owes you an apology. What was she thinking. Trisha It's obvious that you have much love and support here amoung your friends Roxy. I'm proud that you have come to a place in your life where you do not let the comments of one or a select few deter you from seeking the support you need here from so many. I think we've all learned that in groups such as these you'll always have one or two that won't be supportive and say things that knowingly will upset someone as yourself who is need of love and compassion. We can't control that; but we can control the way we react to it. I'm proud of you girlfriend. We all are. I'm so happy for you and Brett. You are a go getter and I admire you. Risk taker I'm not. Sometimes I wish I were. There is a saying To not judge until you have walked a mile in that person's shoes. You have alot to deal with and I pray your life gets easier. As far as Susan goes does anyone think she was just trying to help you ? Some people have a different way of saying things and maybe she was trying to help. Pat Roxy, Well Roxy, that is what this forum is all about ,saying what is on your mind but not to hurt anyones feelings. You are going to be fine hang in there and when your house situation is over you will feel much better but try not to get to stressed out then you won't be good for anyone.
Roxy, I admire your ability to share what you are thinking and feeling so openly and honestly. What Susan mistakenly pronounced as being bipolar is just your remarkable ability to pull yourself up, dust yourself off and go at life full speed ahead, everytime you get knocked down. You may be down one day, but you don't allow yourself to stay in that negative frame of mind.
ROXY...you truly are amazing. You say that I am
strong, but I think you are more so. Your pursuit of
your goals and hearts desires is SO encouraging.
And I love your honesty in sharing because so many
time you say what I am feeling. Congrats on the
house and the new adventures. But...now you are
going to be further away! I hope you have a
wonderful day tomorrow and thanks for being such a
blessing to others. Luv ya!
Tara
I think a lot of the reason you are able to do that is that you care so deeply for others and you just keep moving forward to take care of them and their needs. The awesome thing is, you benefit from it too! We should all use your strength and spirit as our role model!
I appreciate all that you have done for me and the kindnesses you have always shown. Keep it up girl, you rock!
Karen
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